Mandatory Aid
by Aoi Natsu
Summary: AU Watari, suspecting that L has Asperger's, make L go to therapy. There, he meets Light, an obsessive compulsive with a panic disorder. Will he conquer his social awkwardness and make his first friend? Or will he find something more? LightxL
1. Prologue

A/N: I just want to say that it is not my intention to make fun of anyone with a mental disorder, because I have one myself (panic disorder). Please don't kill me. I wanted to make L go to therapy, so I talked it over with Ai-chan, and we came up with this plot.

Disclaimer: don't own Death Note

---

Watari stood at the marble counter preparing L's midnight tea. The hotel kitchen was very small and the smell of scented prayer candles filled the air. While the tea was steeping, Watari had lit the Sacred Heart of Mary and Saint Jude for his ward, L. Not that these spirits in particular would help ease his sorrow, but they were the only ones he could find in the suitcase filled with items rarely used and therefore almost useless. However, the old man had grown worried about the panda's mental state since Roger suggested that L had Asperger's syndrome. Watari wanted to deny the accusations, but found that he was reluctant to remain ignorant. The symptoms fit L too perfectly.

Impairment in social interaction: yes. Repetitive or ritualistic movement, posture, or utterance: yes. No significant delay in language development, or significant delay in cognitive development, self-help skills or adaptive behaviors (other than social interaction): yes. They also display intense and/or repetitive interests and have lack of empathy toward others.

Although it could be that L was just weird.

Watari checked the tea and found that it was ready, a pool of flavor resting at the bottom underneath the bag. He stirred the liquid into a homogeneous mixture and set it on the tray along with the crystal sugar bowl. After blowing out the candles, he left for the main room where the object of his anxiety was typing away.

The keys were quietly pressed upon, creating a drowsy symphony interrupted by the occasional _puplunk _of the spacebar underneath L's elegant fingers. He didn't acknowledge Wammy when he set the tray next to him; only muttering a small "thank you" and immediately going for the sugar. Watari sat down at his own computer, contemplating how to address the current situation. He was considering medication and therapy; they seemed like the logical choice.

"Watari," L's sudden voice startled the man in question.

"Yes, Ryuuzaki?"

Silence.

L turned around in his chair and stared at Watari for a moment. His expression was blank.

"I heard the conversation between you and Roger," he said finally.

"Oh," Wammy stuttered.

"I think that you are beginning to believe his accusations." L took a sip of his tea.

"Well," he started, "the symptoms do fit." L turned away, disgusted. "Ryuuzaki... _Lawliet_..." L looked at him suddenly at hearing his real name. "I am very worried about you. Please, let me help you. There are treatments; we can try everything..."

"I do not see the purpose of such actions for I am quite content with my current state of mind."

"Lawliet, you also have separation anxiety. Remember when I left for two days? You called me, crying!"

"But I missed you, and I wasn't crying that much. Just a little." His expression changed to sadness as he recalled that night. He pouted and looked away from Wammy.

"Please, let me take you to therapy. You could get make friends and be more independent."

"But I don't need friends. I only need you, Watari."

"Lawliet, you'll be happy with friends. I have friends, like Roger, and they make me happy."

"But Roger is an asshole."

"Yes, I suppose so," Watari chuckled.

"Do you think I could have friends, and be happy?" L turned away again, drinking the rest of his tea.

"Will you come with me tomorrow to meet with Doctor Califono?" Watari said, sounding hopeful.

"I suppose I could try it..."

L turned his attention back to his case, wondering just when he would be regretting this decision.

A/N: The next chapter will have Light and will be much longer. Please review!


	2. Shannon

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed/story alert/favorite!

Disclaimer: don't own Death Note or Reeses's or Starbucks :(

---

L opened his eyes and was greeted by the glaring white screen of his computer. He had slept in that same crouching position he was so accustomed to. Sometime in the night Watari had draped a warm gray blanket over his shoulders, the length of it making the cloth cascade and fold around his slim frame. The clock on the computer's taskbar said 4:34 am, which meant Wammy was still asleep. L stood up from his chair and wrapped himself in the soft material, heading for the kitchen. He walked on the tips of his toes so as to not make any noise. Pale sunlight shone through a single window and illuminated the small space. L could see the candles from the night before and smiled to himself. _Watari... you worry about me too much._

L knew that he did not have Asperger's, and the thought that today at 9:00 he would be seeing a therapist seemed almost silly. He could see this person in his mind; a know-it-all who thinks they can pinpoint all your worries and problems in a mere hour of talking mindlessly and looking at inkblot tests. He loathed this person, whom he didn't even know. Just because he missed Watari when he was gone, and just because he wasn't the most "social" person. L opened the refrigerator and took out a slice of chocolate cheesecake. _It is ridiculous. I wonder how many other illnesses they will accuse me of?_ He left for the main room where he could enjoy his sweet breakfast more comfortably in the leather chairs.

---

L sat in the back of Watari's black car as they made the journey to the offices where Dr. Califono would see them. He licked at a rainbow all-day lollipop and admired the scenery pasting by. This part of Japan was very lush and full of foliage. There were some rice paddies and tall bamboo forests, and on one side of the road was a row of blooming sakura and a lazy creek. They had been driving in the countryside for a while now, and in the distance were some old-looking buildings.

Watari finally stopped at a white western-style cottage of sorts. There were several hanging plants with delicate flowers and the second story balcony was packed with vines and other leafy plants. Reluctantly, L climbed out of the car, his feet shoved into ratty sneakers.

"So, this is it, then?" The raven haired man asked. Watari just nodded and led the way into the building.

The waiting room was loud. Children argued with their parents, a TV was blaring a show with talking hands, and the confusing ramblings of some patients filled the air. L grimaced and put his full attention to licking his lollipop.

"Ryuga-san," the grossly overweight woman at the counter said, "it's gonna be a while, so you can take a seat while we work on paperwork, 'kay?" L glared at her before taking the only seat left. He was content with attacking his sweet until a young man sitting across from him caught his eye.

He looked no older than L himself, maybe a bit younger. His brunette locks were carefully put in place and his clothes were pressed wrinkle-free. He had nice, slightly tan skin and chocolate eyes. His hands were clasped tightly and resting in his lap; his knee was bobbing up and down and he kept looking around the room anxiously. Finally, it seemed he couldn't take it anymore sine he stood up abruptly and left the room. L could see him pacing outside through one of the many windows. He was so... _handsome._ He didn't belong in this place, although it seemed he had some seriously anxiety issues.

"Ryuga Hideki?" A short, fat woman with flat, gray-black hair called. She was wearing a brown cardigan and blouse, which went blandly with her corduroy pants. L stood up from his perch and followed her up the stairs, Wammy close behind.

They came to an office consisting of a desk, two chairs, a bookshelf, one window and a white board. L took the seat closest to the window and Watari sat next to him. The woman sat at her desk and smiled at them.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Califono, but you can call me Shannon." She opened a white folder and took out a piece of paper. "So, Watari-san, you suspect he has Asperger's?" Wammy just nodded and she looked over the paper some more. She set it down and stared at L, a worried expression on her face. "But you don't think so?"

"No." L said plainly.

"Very well," she wrote something down. "How long has he been exhibiting symptoms?"

"Since he was young." Watari answered vaguely.

"Hmmm..." She stared at L some more. "Alright, Watari-san, I would like to speak to him alone, if you don't mind."

"Not at all." Watari stood up and left, the door closing quietly behind him. And then they were alone, silence filled the air and Shannon continued to stare at Lawliet. L noticed a bucket full of Reese's candy on the floor next to her desk. _She better give me one,_ he thought.

"Ryuga-san, why don't you agree with your grandfather?"

"I do not believe anything is wrong with me."

"Hmm," She gave him another worried look, scrunching up the corners of her mouth. "Yeah, well you see, admitting you have a problem is the first step to getting help." Oh yes, the clichéd line every therapist says.

"I thought that was only with drug addicts and alcoholics."

"It applies to everyone in need of assistance."

"Yes, therefore it does not apply to me."

"But you did come here today. Tell me, what were your intentions?" L was staring at the bucket of Reese's, licking his lips.

"Yes, I did come to an institution where one can receive help," he said sternly. "However, be that as it may I only came here to sooth the thoughts of my grandfather who has become increasingly worried about my state of mind."

She nodded. "And why do you think he is worried?"

He furrowed his brow and looked her in the eye. "It is parent instinct to worry about your child. I do not abide by what society deems 'normal', so I would imagine anyone would think something was wrong. Watari, however, never thought this until his asshole friend suggested that I had a mental disorder." She smirked and rolled her eyes.

"Okay," she said jokingly. "I'm sure you've seen this technique in movies-"

"I don't watch movies." The bucket of Reese's had his full attention once again.

"Alright, I'm going to show you some images and I want you to tell me what you see." She held up the first image.

"A bat." She nodded and continued. "Trees. Butterfly. Two androgynous figures. A phoenix. A mustache. Swans. A strawberry. A fork. Whipped cream. Two people blowing bubbles" She stopped and put the inkblots down, the worried look returning. She wrote down something in L's file.

"Alright for number three, you said two androgynous figures. Now, this test is said to determine sexuality, and based on your answer, you are a homosexual." L's thought drifted back to the handsome man in the waiting room. "For number ten, you failed to see the sea creatures, and your answer indicates an oral fixation."

"I like sweets."

"Yes, I see." Shannon was staring at him again. It was driving L crazy. "Now tell me, have you ever thought about ending your life?"

Shannon spent the rest of the time asking him similar questions, such as "do you feel you were born in the wrong body?" Because apparently L was gay now. She also asked questions like, "do you ever feel unmotivated?" Because she thought L was depressed for some reason. The panda just gave very vague answers that would have led to him not being depressed, but Dr. Califono wasn't convinced.

When it was over, she walked L down to the waiting room where Watari was waiting patiently and reading the newspaper. The brunette was gone now, leaving L disappointed. That man intrigued him, and he wanted to see him again. Watari and Shannon said their goodbyes and L followed his father-figure to the car.

"How was it?" Wammy asked after starting the car.

"Can we go to Starbucks?" L said, sinking deeply into the back seat. It was terrible, and he never even got a Reese's.


	3. Light

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It made me super happy-wappy. And Ai-chan says that I should mention that is based on my old therapist, who I don't need any more :D. *big smile*

Disclaimer: don't own Death Note

Light Yagami stood outside the health care offices contemplating whether or not he should go back in yet. He didn't feel any better outside. The desperate need to _get out_is what made him have to retreat to the overstuffed garden that really needed to be redone. He could feel the imperfections nagging at his mind, the overgrown vines taunting him with their size and disorder. His legs were getting hot, his hands were cold; he needed to move again. The only place he could go was the car. It's neatness like a haven in an improper world. Light had been making appointments every day with a Dr. Califono for a few weeks now, only to leave at the last moment. He tried coming earlier; staying for an hour before he was needed, but that only made things a little better. By now, he thought he should be familiar enough with this place to not have to flee to the comfort of his neat and tidy apartment. Through the window he could see a black-haired man looking at him. His owlish eyes were following his movements. _How strange_, he thought before heading to his car.

…

"That woman ish inswane." L said through a mouthful of cream-filled pastry.

"Really? How so?" Watari asked politely. They were sitting opposite each other at a table inside Starbucks. L had ordered a "venti" caramel mocha and several baked goods, while Wammy sipped at black coffee. L swallowed audibly before answering.

"She showed me paper with spilled ink and then told me I was homosexual."

"Hmph, well..." Watari said in disbelief. "What else did she say?"

"She told me I had an oral fixation. But that's quite obvious." He took a sip of his mocha and a bite of a sugar cookie. He brought his thumb up to his mouth to caress his lips. "I don't see how this could be beneficial."

"Ryuuzaki, you never know. You could be much more comfortable in public. You could make friends." L frowned. "Did you see anyone interesting in the waiting room?"

"I saw a man with brown hair. I think he had issues with anxiety. When I was looking at Soichiro Yagami's file I saw his picture. His name is Light, he's his son."

"Really?" Wammy took a sip of his coffee. "You should talk to him next time." L just nodded and took a big gulp of the sweet drink before him.

"That building..." L said. "it had western architecture and the people didn't have Japanese last names." He used the tips of his fingers to break off a piece of his sugar cookie. He stretched his arm across the table and offered the white sweet to Watari.

"No thanks," he said, smiling. "This institution is American, and it's supposed to be very good."

L plopped the cookie into his mouth. _Institution,_ he thought_, it makes it seem like a prison. Something mandatory that you would never agree to._Not that he had. L wondered if Light had been forced into this as well.

The week went by all to quickly for Lawliet. Once again he was sitting in the backseat while Wammy drove through the country. Most of the petals on the sakura had blown off, making the trees less beautiful. L was disappointed; the flowers had been so pretty. He could see his reflection in Watari's review mirror. His unruly raven hair had been brushed, but it was still messy-looking. When he got dressed that morning, he made sure his white shirt didn't have any stains. He briefly thought about changing his jeans, but then remembered how much he hated tight clothes. To the average stranger, he was unkempt and disordered, but that morning L felt a little prettier. He had done it for Light.

They arrived at the cottage once more, the wild garden littered with discarded pink petals. L quickly got out of the car and rushed to the door, Watari in tow. He scanned the waiting room and saw Light sitting on a chair in the far corner. He froze. L had been thinking about this man ever since he first saw him and now he could go talk to him. But he couldn't. _What am I supposed to say?_

Slowly, L crept towards Light, who was sitting with his legs crossed tightly and an agitated expression on his face._He doesn't look too happy; maybe I should just ignore him._But L disregarded his thoughts and sat down right next to the brunette. Light looked up at him, his features softening. L stared back with wide, inky eyes.

"Yes?" the obsessive compulsive asked.

"Hi." L said breathlessly, smiling widely. "I'm Ryuga Hideki."

"Like the pop star?"

"Yeah..." L suddenly felt stupid. "But you can call me Ryuuzaki."

"Hello Ryuuzaki-san. I'm Light Yagami." Light felt strange, just who the hell was this guy?

"I'm here because my grandfather thinks I have Asperger's Syndrome. It's a type of autism."

"Well, that's not that bad." He said, turning his attention to a pile of magazines.

"Really?" L raised his non-existent eyebrows. "It's quite terrible..."

"It can't be as bad as OCD, or a panic disorder." Light looked down at his hands; he was leaving fingernail marks in his palm.

"Is that what you have?" Light nodded. "Which doctor are you seeing?"

Light frowned. "I... haven't been able to keep my appointments. Today I'm supposed to see Dr. Califono in an hour."

"Oh? I'm seeing her in a bit. She's quite awful. She has a full bucket of candy and she never offered me any." Light laughed. "What?"

"You're worried about candy? That's..." Cute, he thought.

"Ryuga-san?" Shannon announced as she came down the stairs.

"Oh, I have to go. Goodbye Light-kun." He waved and left.

_Kun? He barely knows me. What's with this guy?_Light felt nervous again, but then thought about Ryuuzaki. He was messy, and he sat weird. He just waltzed over here and started talking to him. He had the confidence he lacked himself. Light decided he would stay the rest of the hour and finally see this doctor he felt he so desperately needed.


	4. Contact

A/N: Feel free to give me suggestions for the plot :)

Disclaimer: don't own Death Note

It was seven o'clock at night, and L perched on a swivel chair in the middle of the hotel room. He couldn't concentrate on his laptop, and instead decided to roll around the room while carefully holding a cup of over-sugared coffee. He recalled the conversation he had with his doctor.

_"All my patients are getting together tomorrow and I want you to be there."_

_"Where are they going?" L said, half-interested._

_"To the zoo; it should be safe enough so that no one freaks out or anything."_

_"Hmm." L grunted. He knew Wammy would make him go, no matter how much he protested._

And he had.

L spent the ride home wondering whether Light was coming or not.

Light Yagami had ambushed L's poor little mind and continued to fight wars with whatever L _should_be thinking about. An epiphany would be trying to emerge from his scattered thoughts, but then pushed down again by Light. Everything around him made L think about this man. The color of his milk chocolate reminded L of his eyes, and thin strands of caramel were his hair.

After his appointment, L was deeply saddened to see Light at the far side of the hall, taking the long way to the office so as to avoid any people. He really wanted to talk to him again, but he would have to wait. And now it was seven o'clock at night, and according to Light's work schedule he has been home for approximately five minutes.

L jumped down from his chair and placed his empty cup on the coffee table. He left the room carefully, without shoes, and wandered around the hallways until he found the stairs. The panda ran down the steps on his toes, peering around the corner to see if any old British father-figures were there, just waiting to give him a good scolding. He arrived at the lobby and quickly made his way to the front desk, cutting in front of a teenage boy.

"Do you have a phone book?" He asked, out of breath. The woman just smiled and pulled a thick book off of a lower shelf.

"You should have one in your room..." L couldn't believe it. He mentally slapped himself. Now he needed an excuse.

"Well, room 809 doesn't have one."

"Oh, okay. You can just keep that one, we have plenty down here." And with that, he sprinted up the stairs to the comfort of his hotel room.

L crouched on the floor, his cell phone open right next to him. He carefully sifted through the pages. _Ha, ma, mo...Ya!_He continued until he got to the Yagami section and ran his finger down the page until he found Light Yagami.

The phone rang three times until a familiar voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi Light! This is Ryuuzaki!" L replied cheerfully.

"Huh?"

"We met earlier today."

"Oh, right, you're the guy with Asperger's, right?"

"Allegedly."

"How did you get this number? You can just call people you barely know."

"I used the phone book. And I do not 'barely know' you. Your father is Soichiro Yagami, head of the NPA."

"How do you know that?!"

"I work with him." L said plainly.

"You work with the police?" L grunted in response. "So, what did you want?"

"Are you attending the get-together our doctor has planned tomorrow?"

Light paused and looked up towards the ceiling. "Well, she kind of said I have to."

"Oh? I'm being forced to go to. I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"Yea-" He was cut off by the phone being hung up. Light slumped down into the firm cushions of his white couch. As much as he hated to admit it, he was looking forward to seeing Ryuuzaki the next day. This panda of a man had messy hair, terrible posture, and ill-fitting clothes. Yet, he still remained attractive. Light supposed the next day would be quite entertaining, but he was sure he wouldn't be comfortable among the mass hoards of people.

…

Light went to his small kitchen and took a water bottle out of his refrigerator. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted some crumbs on the counter. Frantically, he rushed to find his sponge in the empty sink. After making sure the room was crumbless, he retreated to his bedroom and sat on the bed. So far, the therapy wasn't helping at all.

A/N: Sorry it's so short, but I've had limited computer access because of my meanie sister and I wanted to update soon.


	5. Socializing

Watari's black car zoomed down the freeway, the scenery passing by all too quickly. L stared out the window, trying to focus on different trees before they were gone. Soft rain dripped from the clouds, decorating the window in fine silver tracings and racing each other to the bottom. He nibbled on a chocolate muffin while silently cheering on his favorite raindrops, the ones that looked as though they were made of sugar. Wammy had insisted on a coat to keep him warm, so he had slipped his arms through a black pea coat he used to wear all the time in England. Ayumi Hamasaki's "Heartplace" flowed quietly from the speakers.

_We are free to go anywhere we want. We are free to do anything we want._

_If only_, L thought.

They finally arrived at their destination, and Watari slid the expensive car into a spot near the entrance. L opened the door and stepped out, leaving the muffin wrapper behind. After locking the doors with a distinct _click_, Watari lead the way to the meeting place. The rain fell on L's nose and made small dots on his warm coat. The wind was cold and tinted his cheeks a light pink. The weather report said it would get warmer by noon, but L hoped it wouldn't. Sunny days were boring, whereas days like this warmed his heart and brought back memories of Winchester.

A group of people were gathered around the gates. Wammy paid for L before putting on a worried expression.

"Are you sure you will be alright?" he asked L.

A small smile formed on L's lips. "I am fine. You have no need to worry about me."

"Very well then..." he looked towards the crowd and sighed."Don't so anything dangerous. If you want to go home early, don't hesitate to call me."

L nodded and gave him a loose hug. They bid farewell and the raven made his way to where he was needed. Among the people were men and women either the same age as him or a little younger. Their appearance and body language seemed very childish. L spotted one man in a tan trench coat and smiled.

"Light-kun!" L exclaimed. Light looked up from his fixed gaze on the ground.

"Ryuuzaki..." he looked at the hunched figure who saw it fit to stick his face close to Light's, staring at him with wide, dark eyes. "Nice to see you."

L backed away. "How are you?" he asked the usual question, not wanting to screw up this social encounter.

Light turned his gaze back to his feet and said, "A little nervous. There are a lot of people here. It's a little intimidating."

"Well, you're doing a good job of handling yourself." L replied. Light was shocked. Everyone he knew told him that he needed to get help, and that he was a wreck. But saying he was doing a good job? This was the first time, and Light couldn't get rid of the smile plastered on his face. L smiled back, but their happiness was short lived as Shannon's voice ruined the moment.

"Hello everyone! Good to see all of you made it!" She was wearing vivid a blue cardigan and matching undershirt. Light cringed. "Alright, so for safety reasons I want you guys all in pairs." L looked expectantly at Light, who sighed and nodded. After the others were arranged, they all started walking towards the petting zoo.

"Why are we going here?" Light asked quietly.

"She seems to think we are all children."

Light scoffed. "Yeah, maybe people like you, but this is ridiculous."

The rain had turned into a gentle mist and the sun was starting to come out. The petting zoo was fairly empty except for a couple lonely children with their parents. A tall wooden fence bordered the space and different sheds were built for the animals. L moved towards the sheep section and Light followed.

He ran his thin fingers over the biscuit curls of the lamb, and it snuggled its head into his hand. L smiled while he toyed with the luscious fur. Light moved to stoke its back and it let out a soft bleat. A larger sheep moved towards L, and he turned his attention to it. Its beige wool was matted and fluffy.

They switched to the rabbit section, following the others. A man was letting people hold them, smiling as he gave one to a little girl who squeaked with joy. He turned to L and gave him a brown cottontail. L looked at it with wide eyes as it looked back at him. After petting the soft fur, he gave it to Light, who took it reluctantly.

"Ryuuzaki, this is so childish. Aren't you embarrassed?" L shook his head and touched the rabbit with his fingertips.

Light jumped as the rabbit began to struggle against him. He handed it back to the man and glared at it.

"We could go somewhere else," L said, noticing Light's discomfort.

They decided to stray from the group and head towards the giraffes. Light could feel himself getting nervous. The burning sensation had returned to his legs and he was sweating. He dug his fingernails into his palms to try to distract himself, but it was to no avail. L was standing next to him, marveling at the long necks of the giraffes with wide eyes.

"Ryuuzaki?" Light asked quietly.

"Hmm... what is it?" L said, keeping his eyes on the tall creatures.

"I... I think I have to leave."

L sighed. "You should try to get over it." He still hadn't made eye contact. "You should be able to look at animals without getting scared."

"Ryuuzaki!" L looked at him apathetically. "You don't understand! I have real _physical_ responses! No wonder your grandfather is making you get help! You _need_ help! You can't just disregard everyone else's feelings!" With that, Light stormed off towards the bathroom.

L was truly hurt. He wanted Light to be his first friend, but now he screwed it up. The sun started peaking through the clouds, making L feel even worse. Like an awkward embrace that you only get from someone who is uncomfortable and doesn't know how to make you feel better.

…

Light splashed his face a few times with the cool water, letting it run into his eyes and drip from his chin. The bathroom was nice, with automatic sensors and plain, white tiles. Light slipped into a stall and leaned against the closed door, closing his eyes. The small space was making him feel a little better. He felt really bad about yelling at Ryuuzaki.

_You should be able to look at animals without getting scared._

Ryuuzaki was right. Light had let this go on long enough. It was time to stop. He left the bathroom with haste, heading towards the giraffe exhibit. But as he looked around, he noticed that Ryuuzaki was gone.


	6. Zoo

Disclaimer: don't own Death Note

---

Light raced along the bare path, looking in every direction for Ryuuzaki. There weren't very many people in his way; he only slowed down to maneuver around a snow white peacock with a gorgeous, yet huge, tail. After passing a tall birdcage, he saw someone who looked like Ryuuzaki... but somehow different. He had the same clothes and hair, but his features were different and his eyes were ruby-red. The man was crawling on the ground and Light approached him carefully.

"Skittle scattle... skittle scattle..." he whispered creepily while "skittle scattling" across the trail.

"Um... excuse me..." Light said awkwardly as the man was examining his shoes.

"I'm a cockroach! Hiss! Hiss! Skittle scattle..." Light watch in horror as he poured jam onto the ground and started licking it. "Hiss!" He said in that creepy whisper. "You can step on me, but you can't kill me! Ha ha, kyu yu yu... No, maybe nya nya? Or hee hee hee!" A little kid threw a rock at him, to which he replyed, "Hiss! Hiss!" The kid screamed and ran away, scarred for life. Light shuddered and decided to continue his search.

He ran past another large birdcage with a silly toucan that hopped about, past the penguins, until he came to the wide, grassy panda exhibit.

And there, perched on a rock next to a baby panda, was Ryuuzaki. He was _inside _the the panda cage.

Light stared in awe and confusion. He wasn't sure how the strange man managed such a feat, or why he even wanted to. L hadn't noticed his presence and continued to watch the baby paw at some bamboo. He took a few steps until he was as close as possible.

"Ryuuzaki, what are you doing in there?" L's head shot up and he gave Light a blank stare.

"I'm not doing anything, Light." His thin fingers toyed with a bamboo shoot.

"Ryuuzaki, get out of the panda cage." Light said sternly. The mother panda stirred and Light was beginning to fear for Ryuuzaki's life. "It's dangerous in there!"

"I rather like it in here. And I don't want to go back to that woman because she makes me feel like an idiot." L said quietly, and Light nodded. Shannon was a terrible therapist.

"You don't have to, we can just stay together." Light suggested.

"It is quiet here, though. The rest of the zoo is too noisy." He sighed. "I want to go home. This is too different."

"You should be able to look at animals without getting scared." He quoted, and their eyes met. They stayed that way for a while, L breathing softly and steadily in the panda cage with Light outside, watching him.

"I suppose I should get out now." L said bluntly and stood up, startling the baby that had grown accustomed to his presence. Light was surprised Ryuuzaki hadn't been mauled yet. He hopped down the small hill and his thin frame made it easy to slip through the metal bars. L waved goodbye to the pandas and began to walk away. Light decided it would be better to just follow him.

They came to the elephant section where two sets of stone bleachers were scattered with people marveling at the giant animals. L crouched on the lowest seat and Light sat next to him.

"These are African Forest Elephants." L said quietly. "Late in the 20th century, conservation workers established a DNA identification system to trace the origin of poached ivory. It had long been known that the ivory of the African Forest Elephant was particularly hard, with a pinkish tinge, and straight, whereas that of the African Bush Elephant is curved." Light nodded absentmindedly. Ryuuzaki didn't seem to notice his disinterest.

L got up and left suddenly, heading for the bear section. There were several exhibits for different types. The first was a Moon Bear, or an Asian Black Bear. L and Light laughed together at the silly characteristics: a fat neck, huge ears and small claws. Its thick, dark fur accentuated its strange shape. It sat on his hind legs, calmly looking back at them.

Next were two sloth bears, one was black and one was auburn. L thought they looked like Light and himself. They ate berries out of a tree, letting the leaves tangle in their shaggy hair.

A family of Kodiak bears played together, nipping at each other's ears and tackling them to the ground.

L decided he like this place. This moment. It was quiet as he stood with Light and the sun was hiding behind the gray clouds again. A couple drops fell from the sky, gradually getting heavier. The clear crystals left much darker spots on L's coat, eventually covering him completely. His damp hair stuck to his face and neck. He breathed in the moist air and savored the fresh taste. The rain fell harder now, soaking him completely. He turned his face towards the sky and let the icy water pierce his face. Light's complaints went unnoticed until he started yelling.

"Ryuuzaki!" L turned towards him. "It's pouring! Can we leave?"

L just nodded and followed Light to the south entrance.

"Is your grandfather going to come get you?"

"It will take one hour fifteen minutes for him to get here if I called him right now."

Light sighed. "I can drive you to my house. You'll catch a cold in the rain."

"Oh, okay." L murmured.

A/N: Can you guys guess who the cockroach man is? :D


	7. Amigurumi

A/N: Sorry for the delay, I've been busy lately. The cockroach man was BB, but most of you guessed that. Some people said it was Mikami, so now I want to add him in here somewhere. He's so awesome *DELETE*

Disclaimer: don't own Death Note or any of Light's stuff

---

_Light-kun's car is very clean, _L thought as he sat normally in the cream leather seat. There were no candy wrappers or cookie crumbs, and the entire vehicle smelled like Febreeze. Light was next to him, sitting very straight and looking forward, never taking his chocolate eyes off the road.

They finally arrived at a tall apartment building on a moderately busy street in the same city L was staying in. It was on the outskirts and if you followed the street long enough you would soon be in the country. Light parked in a nearby parking lot and addressed L for the first time since they got in the car.

"Let's go," he said. L noticed that his voice was quiet and shaky. He nodded and followed Light inside the building.

Light still hadn't said anything when they came to his door on the fifth floor. He simply turned the lock and motioned for L to enter.

L watched Light take off his shoes and put them in a cubby by the door, and L did the same, happy to take the horrid things off. He reached in his pocket for his cell phone to call Watari. He flicked it open and went to his contacts list, finding Wammy at the very bottom of the world leaders and police officials. His long thumb pressed the green button, and the phone made a sound of departure and went blank. Frantically, he tried to turn it on again, but found that it was...

Dead.

_Perfect, _L thought. He scanned the room for Light and found him in the kitchen, leaning against the counter while sipping at some water.

"Light-kun?" he said quietly while inching towards him.

Light took several deep breathes, letting his eyes flutter closed. He clasped his hands tightly around the glass. During L's battle with the cell phone he had changed his clothes. Slowly, he opened his eyes.

"Ryuuzaki!!!" Light yelled and L's coal eyes went wide with surprise.

"What is it Light-kun?" He hummed.

"Look at you!" L looked down at his attire, confused. "You're soaking wet!" He huffed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Did you call your grandfather?"

"That's just it. My phone is dead right now."

Light huffed again. "You need new clothes. Now. Come with me."

L followed him into his bedroom and marveled at the sheer white cleanliness. It smelled like Febreeze in here, too. Light was carefully rummaging through his closet.

"We're about the same size," he said, handing L a pair of black slacks and a tight navy-blue sweater. L simply nodded and began to strip.

Light watched in a strange mixture of horror and wonder as Ryuuzaki pulled the clinging white shirt off his head and discarded it on the floor. His stomach was very narrow with sharp hipbones and protruding ribs, while his muscular (but not too wide) chest was adorned with pink gumdrop nipples. Without even unbuttoning his jeans, he pulled them off, revealing thin, hairless legs. Light's eyes wandered to his white boxers, eying the bulge in his crotch. As L pulled on the pants, Light quickly turned away, blushing.

"Light-kun..."

"Yeah, Ryuuzaki?" Light said, keeping his eyes away from L and the mess of clothes on the floor.

"These pants are too tight." Light turned around and nearly fainted at the sight of Ryuuzaki in his pants, which _were _too tight, especially in the crotch. He couldn't help but notice how they accentuated his cake-butt.

"Just deal with it." he said dismissively. But it was now that he noticed Ryuuzaki's soaked clothes on the floor. Light fell on his knees and attempted to clean it up, but found that he had trouble breathing. It wasn't long before he was hyperventilating, clutching the ragged jeans as he felt the anxiety course through his veins.

"Light...kun?" L said quietly as he watched Light's breakdown. "What are you doing?"

Light quickly placed Ryuuzaki's clothes in the laundry basket and then rushed into the kitchen with L right behind him. He drank the rest of his water in large gulps while L stood awkwardly a few feet from him. Light dizzily took a few steps and almost fell down, but L caught him with warm arms, placing him gently on the floor.

"You should eat something. Do you have cake?" L asked as he stood up and opened the refrigerator. It was almost empty, except for milk and a bottom of Kikkoman soy sauce. L shuddered and checked the pantry, only finding saltines. Hopefully, he checked the freezer, but there was only a carton of _green tea _frozen yogurt. L stuck his tongue out and shuddered once more. "You don't have any food!" he exclaimed dramatically.

The sickly health-freak moved into the other room to retrieve his wallet from his Gucci man-purse. He plopped down on the couch and handed the leather case to Lawliet.

"Can you go buy something? There's a market close by."

L pushed the money away. "Fine, but I'll pay." He decided that was the nice thing to do. "What do you want?"

Light sighed and returned his wallet to its designer home. "A pack of buckwheat soba noodles, sesame seeds, and a bottle of lightly sweetened black tea."

L nodded and quickly shoved his feet into his sneakers. Before he left Light sighed and pointed to a black umbrella hanging by the door. He grabbed it and sped out the door.

He wasn't going to mess this up. He was going to go shopping for his first friend and come back with everything Light needed. He was going to make Light happy!

---

Not five minutes after Ryuuzaki left, the phone rang. Light checked the caller ID, but it didn't say anything. He decided to pick it up anyway, since it could be important.

"Hello?"

"Hello Yagami-san?" Light recognized the voice as the kind elderly man he had seen with Ryuuzaki.

"Yes? This is Ryuuzaki's grandfather, right?"

"Yes, you may call me Watari. Do you know where Ryuuzaki is right now?"

"It started raining at the zoo, so I offered to take him home. He was going to call you, but his phone was dead. I got sick when we got here, so he kindly went out to pick up a few items at the market."

Watari breathed a sigh of relief. "That's good to hear. Will you tell me to call me back when he returns?"

"Yes, Watari-san. It shouldn't be long."

"Very well. Goodbye Yagami-san."

"Bye." Light said, and the line clicked off.

---

L held the umbrella delicately by the curved wooden handle as he shuffled down the street. It was still raining, but L didn't mind. He followed the signs indicating the way to Misa Misa's Anything and Everything Super Fun Market. They were pink and decorated with fake sukura blossoms, and written entirely in hiragana, obviously intended for stupid people.

The stalls were painted pink, and the hiragana was purple and written sloppily with small curls at the edges. The first one he saw was a small Amigurumi shop stuffed with cute crocheted animals and dolls. He found himself being drawn to the cute shop.

He picked up a fluffy white bear with his fingertips, examining the pink scarf and little booties. His lips curled into a smile and his big eyes looked around some more. Next to it was a coffee-colored bear, wearing a blue sweater like his own and a striped hat. He moved to the other side easily, since he was the only person there. Sitting in a basket was a panda with large ears, and next to it was a "Sakura Cupcake Bear." It was a little white bear's head in a cupcake wrapper, and on its ears were plastic sakura blossoms. L thought it was really cute and wanted to buy it for Light, but then saw another panda. Its hair was softer and much fluffier, and it had little blue overalls on, while its smile revealed a little pink tongue. L acted on impulse and bought it instantly.


	8. Market

The small plastic bag housing the amigurumi panda swayed on L's fingertips as he continued through the market. He sighed rather loudly while examining the colorful signs nailed to tall posts scattered here and there. They weren't much help.

Not really going anywhere in particular, he stopped at what appeared to be a manga shop.

"Let's see," he muttered around the thumb that automatically took place at his lip. "This katakana reads yama... so it says no mountain? No point or meaning? How strange, I wonder what's inside." He shrugged and decided to enter to store. Maybe he could find something else for Light?

Inside he saw so many posters... posters of small men with great beauty and feminine features in the arms of hunky men who snuggled them close. Some of them had cat ears, which L thought was a little weird, yet fascinating. _A cat person? Would Light enjoy that?_

The majority of the people he saw around him were young women, giggling with their friends as they looked through the books. _What could be so interesting about them?_L approached the nearest bookshelf and took the first book that caught his eye.

It was called _Selfish Mr. Mermaid_, and on the cover was a pant less, surprised-looking effeminate brunette surrounded by fish and a shirtless blonde, and masculine man had his arms around the other's waist. He opened the book and his eyes widened instantly. The two men were in the bathtub, and the brunette had bandages on his hands. He flipped through the pages carefully, holding the manga directly in front of his face. His eyes widened even more (if that were possible) when he stopped to examine another page.

_What? What is that.... is that a glow stick or... censorship?! What is this? Wait, he didn't use any lube or... and he just "rammed" into him. Wouldn't that hurt? Well, he looks like he's enjoying it..._

L sighed and put the manga back where it belonged. As he was leaving the store, he found himself wanting to be one of the men who had strong, protective boyfriends to take care of him. Again he was thinking about Light; he wondered if it would ever stop.

He came to a vegetable stand with red crates full of food he couldn't ever recall eating, or even _seeing_. Things that were sliced up beyond recognition and had a mysterious aroma he could never imagine existed. They were so unlike the faint smell of sugar and pastries, or strong cinnamon sprinkled in his nighttime posset, the warm and inviting scent of coffee or an Earl Gray tea. No, this was something entirely new; he hardly understood what any of this stuff was. He certainly wouldn't eat this back in Winchester, and that made him nervous. What were sesame seeds, or soba noodles? L couldn't remember, he wasn't sure he ever knew.

_So disgusting, L_ thought as he eyed an offending pile of something green. _Maybe I should ask for help, _he concluded after realizing he was completely lost.

L sighed and was about to speak when he felt a hand grab his wrist. He turned to see a tall man with straight, black hair that fell on his shoulders and a pair of glasses sitting low on the bridge of his nose.

"You look like you could use some help," he said quietly, noticing the raven's discomfort. L looked at him with a blank face. "My name is Teru Mikami." He bowed.

"Ryuga." L replied plainly, not returning the kind gesture. Instead, he nodded slightly, indicating that he could indeed use some help.

Mikami cleared his throat. "So, what are you here for? Shopping for Light-kun?"

L's lips parted in an inaudible gasp. How did he know that?

"Soba noodles, sesame seeds, and lightly sweetened black tea." He said, completely ignoring the last part of the question.

"You're in the wrong section." He said in that same quiet and stern voice.

L lifted a finger and wagged it. "These signs are completely unreliable! I walked into such unusual places," he blushed a little, "I never knew that 'no mountain, no point, no meaning' meant something so strange! Those men were licking glowsticks!"

Mikami sighed. "Here, let me guide you." He took his hand in a strong grip, which startled L, who followed him awkwardly as he dragged him through the crowd of people.

They came to another stand, but this one was hidden underneath a low awning. It resembled a mini grocery store with the isles of food and the two refrigerators tucked away in the corner. Mikami led him to an isle full of noodles where he picked out the buckwheat soba noodles. He found a bag of sesame seeds and took that, too. Teru followed L to the corner where he took Light's tea from the refrigerator, bending over as he grabbed it from the very bottom.

It seemed to happen in slow motion; when L felt something against his back he brushed it off as an accident. But then those same hands traveled town his spine with feathery touches. They went lower, tracing the pockets of his pants before giving his ass a firm, and utterly creepy, squeeze.

Before Mikami had time to enjoy himself, L's foot connected with his face, making him spin around and lose his balance. He fell on the floor hard, scraping his hands. His glasses were broken in half and he could feel thick blood gushing out of his nose, running down his throat and stinging as he tried to swallow it before he choked. After regaining his composure, he saw that Ryuga had already paid for the food and was running away.

A/N: Yaoi stands for yama nashi, ochi nashi, imi nashi, which means no climax, no point, no meaning. "Yama" also means mountain so that's why L misunderstood the sign.


	9. Friends

A/N: Thanks to MLMsky4life for help with the plot! I'll take any suggestions. :D

Disclaimer: don't own Death Note

---

L clutched the bags tightly as he ran through the narrow streets. He breathed heavily, taking sharp gasps of air as he tried to comprehend what had happened. He staggered a little before falling down, landing in a big puddle and soaking his clothes.

_Zoo... rain... Light... market... Mikami..._

Too much had happened in one day. It was getting late; the horizon was stained a vibrant pink and the sky was painted orange. The rainclouds were leaving and L had left the the umbrella at the store where Mikami tried to feel him up.

He wasn't sure which way to go, it wasn't that he couldn't remember, he was a genius after all. But right now he couldn't _think_. Nothing like this had ever happened to him. Since he entered the orphanage Watari had taken care of him. L stayed inside, away from everybody. He understood rape, molestation, groping. But that didn't happen to L, symbol not a face, a being hidden from society.

Nothing looked familiar. "I don't know which way to go," he said aloud.

---

Light was still sprawled across the couch where Ryuuzaki had left him. He snuggled into the cushions, trying to find a more comfortable position. It was getting too late; Ryuuzaki had been gone for hours.

_Maybe he just went home._

Was it possible Ryuuzaki had abandoned him?

_He wouldn't, would he? But someone socially retarded like that... _

No, Ryuuzaki wasn't like that. He was definitely weird, but there was something about him. The way he talked, the way he honestly doesn't care about the people who stared at him. It was like he knew something they didn't know; that he was much more amazing than they could ever be. Socially, he was messed up, and there were things he didn't understand about society.

Suddenly, Light started getting paranoid. There were all sorts of weirdos out there. Not too long ago he was sexually harassed by a man named Mikami. They knew each other in high school and he never really left Light alone. Light wouldn't be surprised if he was a convicted sex offender.

He could see Ryuuzaki, innocently trying to help Light, and then if a pervert came by...

Light jumped up from the couch and quickly grabbed his jacket and bag before he sprinted out of the building and towards Misa Misa's Anything and Everything Super Fun Market. God, how he despised that girl. She never left him alone.

He ran past the amigurumi shop, scanning the crowd while desperately trying to find the little panda of a man. He turned down another alley, still maintaining his speed.

And then he saw him, hunched over as usual, holding two bags in either hand while trying to make sense of the confusing signs.

"Ryuuzaki!!!" Light yelled as he rushed over. L looked up at him with the facial expression that resembled a startled cat. He looked shaken and nervous, which was how Light felt most of the time. "Are you alright?"

"Oh...I..." he trailed off. Light sighed and wrapped one arm around him.

"Come on, let's go." He guided L back to the apartment.

---

L remained silent as they traveled up the stairs. The combination of his solemn expression and the dripping black locks sticking to his face made him look like a lost puppy.

_Puppy? Cat? Panda? Just what the hell is Ryuuzaki?_ Light thought as he examined the man before him.

L shivered a little since he was still wet and the cold air pierced his skin. He mindlessly followed Light until he was led into the main room of his living space.

"Ryuuzaki, you need to change your clothes again." Light took the bags from him and placed them on the kitchen counter. "Watari called for you earlier. I told him you would call him back." L nodded and followed Light into the bedroom.

"It will be a while before he arrives." L said quietly.

Ryuuzaki looked so sad and troubled. He had obviously gone through a lot just to shop for Light. He felt bad and wanted to repay him.

"Why don't you stay here tonight? It's already late and it would save Watari the trouble of driving so far."

Lawliet considered this for a moment; he had never spent the night at someone else's house before. He remembered what Wammy said about making friends.

_This is what friends do, isn't it?_

"Very well, I'll stay."

Light smiled to himself and moved to his closet to select more clothes for his guest. He chose a plain black tee-shirt and a pair of gray pajama bottoms. Then he realized that Ryuuzaki was probably soaked through to the skin.

"Um, Ryuuzaki? You, uh, probably need new boxers, right?" He felt like such an idiot.

L wasn't sure what to say. "I… don't know." He felt so very violated after what happened with Mikami, and this was the last thing he needed.

"Well, they're clean, so…" He nodded and took the clothes, changing into them after Light left the room. Words couldn't describe how much he missed his usual attire. It felt very odd as he slipped _someone else's_ boxers on.

---

"I bought you something, Light-kun." L said as he poked at the bowl of noodles Light had prepared for him. He had already called Watari and had yet to tell Light about his little "adventure."

"Hmm? What is it?" Light said after swallowing quite loudly. L went into the kitchen to retrieve the amigurumi. He pulled it out of the bag and showed it to Light with a big smile on his face.

"Do you like it?" Light took the panda in his hands, admiring the craftsmanship. He wanted to cry; it had been so long since anyone had bought his something like this. His parents assumed that he was mature and didn't care for things like stuffed animals or toys. The little tongue sticking out of its mouth made it even cuter, and he felt like it would be very kind if it were alive.

Light often had thoughts like that, whether or not inanimate objects had good hearts. He smiled warmly. "Thank you."

L continued to pick at the noodles. He knew he should tell Light, but he wasn't sure how. then he remembered what Mikami said.

"_Shopping for Light-kun?"_

They obviously knew each other. L decided to speak, even though he felt a little sick thinking about it.

"Light-kun? Do you know a man named Teru Mikami?" These words almost made him choke. _So he did run into that pervert._

"Are you alright? He's a bit creepy."

"He groped me."

Light frowned. "I'm sorry Ryuuzaki, I should have known something like this would happen. What did you do when he groped you?"

"I kicked him in the face. I may have broken his nose."


	10. Unacceptable Behavior

A/N: So sorry for the late update! I've been having bad issues with exhaustion and pretty much have to spend all day sleeping :(.

Disclaimer: don't own Death Note. But I _really_ want a Near ;)

Light supposed that Mikami got what he deserved, but he found it strange that someone could talk about assaulting another person so casually. He decided to drop the subject.

Because L was special.

"Ryuuzaki, I don't really understand why you go to therapy." Light said while gathering his empty dish and Ryuuzaki's untouched noodles. "Or why you seem to dislike it so much."

"I am receiving treatment for a condition I do not have. It implies that I have a problem. But I do not. I work perfectly fine."

Light frowned as he scooped the uneaten food into the garbage, before turning to face L.

"Come on, Ryuuzaki. There must be some reason why Watari is making you go. You must have some of the symptoms."

"I am not very social," L said while nibbling on his tongue, desperately craving something sweet. "And I have specific habits."

Light couldn't help smirking. He didn't know Ryuuzaki too well, but he knew all about his "specific habits."

"So, Watari-san wants you to be more social." He sat down opposite Ryuuzaki and handed him a cup of chamomile tea. L immediately went for the sugar bowl and started dropping spoonfuls into his cup. His smile diminished as he thought of what to say next.

"I don't understand why he would think I need to change. Sometimes I wonder if he is ashamed of me."

"Why would he be ashamed of you?"

"Because you are the closest thing to a friend I've ever had."

Silence.

Light was shocked by this. _He's seriously never had any friends?_

"Uhh... it's getting late. I'll go get you a blanket."

L nodded and drank the rest of his tea before heading towards the couch. It was very firm and hardly sank down when he sat on it. It wasn't comfortable, and it most certainly wasn't a place to sleep. He chose the cushion to the right, using the arm as a pillow as he pulled his knees up. The position felt good, it was such an ordinary thing to him, always there to soothe him. Just like Watari.

His chest felt tight as he recalled the old man who was so important to him. He missed him terribly. A sudden wave of fear washed over him. He felt so alone.

"Here." Light handed him a plain throw blanket. He wrapped it around himself and brought his thumb to his lips.

"Goodnight."

Light remained still underneath his clean comforter. He felt odd. It was a strange feeling to have someone else in his house. In his living room. On his couch.

He couldn't sleep, so he got out of bed. For a moment he stood there in the dark, as if waiting for something. Quietly, he left the room.

The main room was calm and dark, on the wall a clock ticked away.

"Light-kun?"

He jumped at the soft voice. It sounded like a child.

"Ryuuzaki? You're awake?" He found him in the same position he had had last seen him in.

"I can't sleep. It's strange to sleep on a on a couch."

"I can't sleep either. It's strange to have someone lying on my couch."

"Do you think you have room in your bed?"

"I think so..."

Light lead the way to his room while Ryuuzaki shuffled behind him.

They took different sides. Light straightened his body and rested his arms above the covers. L crawled underneath them and resumed the fetal position, facing Light.

"It's really cold in here." L said around his thumb.

"Do you need another blanket?"

"No. Besides, body heat would be much warmer."

"Wha-"

L moved towards Light quickly, lifting his arm and putting it around himself. He rested his head on Light's shoulder and snuggled into the newfound warmth. His eyes felt so heavy as exhaustion hit his small frame hard. He smiled.

"Light-kun is so warm."

Ryuuzaki was warm, too, but he didn't say that. He swallowed and tried to get used to having someone so close to him. Light knew there was no way he'd be able to remove Ryuuzaki anytime soon, so he closed his eyes and eventually succumbed to sleep.

Light was gone when L woke up.

_I slept in. I never sleep in._

He sat up and looked out the window. The curtains were open and faint sunlight poured in, dimmed by the clouds.

A note was on the nightstand. The paper was plain and the penmanship was neat and modest. L picked it up carefully as if it were infested and held it high up to examine it.

_You were still asleep when I had to leave for my father's office. Your clothes are folded and clean now. I put them on the edge on the bed. You are expected to go home as soon as possible. Don't think about stealing anything, because my dad is the head of the NPA. I will know if you take something. If something is missing, I will know it was you who took it and I will take legal action._

_-Light_

L didn't take the repetitive and mistrustful words too harshly; because he already knew that Light was a little paranoid.

…

"Now, I want you to start thinking about medication."

"Mmm."

"There are all sorts of medicine you can take to make your life as an Aspie easier."

Slurp.

"I think you should talk to your family doctor about different things you can take, but I'm going to go ahead and recommend some based on your psychological analysis."

L really couldn't care less about the nothingness spewing from the witch's mouth. He was content with his cherry lollipop. It even had bubblegum in the center!

The witch's facial features became serious, so L decided to maybe acknowledge her.

"Now, you aren't very social. And you are quite dependent on your grandfather to take care of you, despite your age. I need to make sure that these symptoms aren't from lack of motivation or poor self esteem. If so, an antidepressant would be prescribed."

This was so boring! And unnecessary! He was L, and he had more important things to do.

"Tell me, Ryuga-san, what are you thinking about right now?"

"My lollipop." She wrote something down. "And the bucket of Reese's by your feet."

"Other than candy, what are you thinking about?"

"Nothing. I am only thinking about candy."

She sighed loudly and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Ryuga-san, you need to be serious."

"I am serious. You have a bucket of candy and have not offered me any." He was starting to sound like a little brat, but he didn't care.

"That candy is a reward. You have not accomplished anything."

"Yes I have. I believe I deserve a Reese's."

"No you do not."

L scowled. "Yes I do. If you will not offer me any I will simply take it."

He jumped down from his perch and lunged towards the bucket before Shannon could get to it. He took as much of the candy as he could and returned to his chair.

"Mmm... These are so good!"

"Ryuga-san that was completely unacceptable behavior!"

He didn't hear the witch's words anymore, because now he was lost in his own peanut butter and chocolate world.

A/N: I'm going to San Francisco for a week, but I promise I'll update soon after I get back. :)


	11. Doctor

L hated the doctor's office with a passion.

It was always the same. He would be dragged there by Wammy and when he sat in the waiting room people stared. A nurse would call him in and he would be weighed, immediately followed by the "you need to gain weight" speech.

Then he had to explain his symptoms, or rather, Watari would do it for him. Usually it was a stomach ache, or something about insomnia. L never listened, because he didn't care. He had heard the lectures about his sleeping patterns and his diet many times, but he never intended to take the advice.

He knew he wasn't normal. There was absolutely nothing ordinary about him. So why should he have ordinary sleeping patterns and an ordinary diet? It didn't fit into the complicated system that was L. But the doctors tried to make it fit. They were the wrong pieces for the puzzle. Not only were they in the wrong place, they were the wrong size, shape and color, they belonged to another puzzle entirely. L was certain he wasn't even a puzzle to begin with.

He pulled his knees closer to his body as he waited for Watari to finish checking him in. This time he got lucky, since there was only two other people in the room. A teenage girl and her father sat silently next to each other. She had curly blonde hair that was extremely out of place. Her knee bobbed up and down, as if she were very impatient or nervous. L watched as she whispered something to her dad and then left the room quickly.

L thought she acted a lot like Light.

His mind drifted back to the man whom he had been socializing with for past weeks. Light was absolutely beautiful and very intelligent. L didn't know if it was okay to consider him a friend yet, since he was new to friend-making.

"Ryuga-san?"

L sighed and made his way to the nurse. She was very short, barely 5 feet tall. Wammy greeted her and they made their way down the hall.

"Okay, take off your shoes and step on the scale."

His bare feet felt cold on the metal square. He swallowed, ready for her next words.

"110 pounds. You need to gain weight!"

Like he hadn't heard it before.

_"Eraldo Coil?" the nurse called. It was his current alias; his least favorite. It was such a dumb name._

_"You're here for your physical, correct?"_

_"Yes." They walked to the examination room, the young nurse leading the way._

_"Just wait here. The doctor will be here in just a minute, 'kay?"_

_He smiled politely and nodded. It was his first physical, and he wasn't sure of what to expect._

_The room was small and plain; nothing of interest was tacked to the notice board. It was cold, only slightly warmer than it was outside._

_Someone knocked on the door and a man around 40 walked in. He introduced himself and shook L's hand, a little taken aback by the way L sat._

_"Okay… date of birth… Halloween! 1980? So you're almost 13?" He said. L nodded. The man continued to mumble something. "Alright, could you please strip down to your underwear?"_

_L looked at him like he had stolen his cookies._

_"Don't think I won't file charges against you for molestation!"_

_"It's only for the exam." He said it in such a casual and friendly way. It was creepy._

_L complied, glaring at the doctor as he pulled off his shirt and jeans. He felt thick fingers check each vertebra as he bent over. It was cold._

_He straightened back up (as much as he could), and awaited the next instruction. L thought the man was check something else when he moved towards him again, but his next move surprised the young genius. The man actually pulled on the waistband of his boxers and_looked down them! _L stood there, frozen._

_"Why did you do that?!" He nearly screamed._

_"Relax, I was only seeing if you had grown pubic hair yet."_

_Pubic hair? L knew about the pubic bone but no one ever told him you grew hair on it! No, this was one big joke. It had to be!_

_"What are you talking about?! Don't make excuses!"_

_"Wow, you really are uneducated about puberty. It's not an excuse, it's part of developing into an adult." L thought about this for a moment._

_"So, you're only an adult if you have hair around your genitals?"_

_"Well, no, it doesn't work that way."_

_"Then why do people grow hair down there? It sounds completely unnecessary!"_

_"I- I'm not really sure..." He wasn't sure? He just molested L with his eyes and then started talking about hair in strange places. This was too much._

_"What kind of doctor are you?" the panda yelled._

_The man pinched the bridge of his nose and huffed, and then he said something about getting a stethoscope or some other tool._

_"I'll be right back." He left the room angrily._

_L was still for a minute. He didn't understand why every time he went out in public things had to be so difficult._

_"WATARI!" he shrieked, shaking from the cold._

_..._

"...and sleeping pills would be a good idea." The doctor laughed. He was cocky and annoying and tried to make everything funny.

L hadn't been listening; it didn't matter, because there was no way he'd actually take any of those pills.

He stood awkwardly a few feet away from Wammy at the pharmacy, his hands shoved in his pockets, gaze fixed on the ground.

After waiting a little bit, the pharmacist produced a white paper bag. L could have jumped and dance in joy, but he managed to contain himself. This day had been so boring!

"Can we go to a bakery?" L asked as they walked to the car.

Watari sighed. "Yes, I suppose so." He had a feeling he just wasted $60 on medication that would never be taken.

…

Misa Amane tried on what would be a purple plastic lace monstrosity to normal people, but not to her. She frowned at her reflection in the dressing room mirror, not because she was sad, she was confused.

Confused as to why Light Yagami wasn't in love with her.

She noticed that he seemed to be getting less and less social in the last couple of years. When she visited him at his apartment he always acted shy and fidgety, but she tried to believe he was just nervous and totally in love with her. But he always appeared angry later on, like he just wanted her to _leave_.

The petite blonde sighed, trying to come up with a plan. She supposed she could visit Light again, maybe take him out for coffee.

She loved him so much, and it hurt when he rejected her. But she wasn't discouraged; Misa was determined to win Light's heart.

Even though they had never really "met" each other and Light thinks she probably has some mental issues.


	12. Fake

A/N: I am getting more ideas for this story, so I'll probably update more frequently. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! This story has now passed the 100 review mark!

This chapter contains language from our favorite leather-clad blond!

…

Mello sank into the leather couch, his sigh filling the quiet apartment. He felt heavy, his every move agonizingly _pointless _to him. It was strange, to feel so empty yet filled to the brim with emotions.

He was angry, sad, scared, frustrated, and betrayed. Mello had been betrayed by his only love. Was that the right word? Did Matt really betray him?

No, it wasn't. Matt was _not_ Matt. He was an impostor. This unknown man had taken it upon himself to steal Matt and replace him. Every time Mello looked at this "new boyfriend" he had received he felt disgust.

He needed some damn chocolate.

With a toss of his silky blonde locks he pulled out his cell and submitted his request to Fake Matt, who was on his way home from work and could easily stop by the store.

"I bet it was Near." He said aloud, talking to a glass figurine of a frog. "I bet that albino bitch took him so he could program some fucking robots or something."

The frog didn't reply.

Their conversation was interrupted by the chime from Mello's phone. He flipped it open and read the message.

"_k babe. anything else?"_

"K babe! Anything else!" The blond quoted with disgust. "No I don't want anything else Goddammit!!"

…

Watari delivered the last batch of double-chocolate-chip cookies for the night around 3:15 am while L remained perched in his swivel chair.

"Thank you, Watari. Are you going to bed now?" L said in low voice.

"Yes, Ryuuzaki. You should get some sleep, too."

L turned to him, a cookie hanging from his mouth. It was temporarily removed to allow for speech. "Thank you, but I am busy right now. Just one more hour?" he hummed before eating the whole cookie in one bite.

"Alright." The old man sighed. "Goodnight L."

"Guhmite," he said, spewing crumbs from his mouth.

L turned his attention to the computer screen. He had just finished another document and didn't feel like starting on another. So he found himself staring at the Google homepage.

_What's something I've been interested in lately?_He thought, _Oh, of course! Light Yagami!_

He typed in "social anxiety disorder" and clicked on the first link. He scrolled down to Cognitive Aspects. It said:

S_ocial phobics experience__dread__over how they will be presented to others. They may be overly__self-conscious, pay high self-attention after the activity, or have high performance standards for themselves._

Was this how Light really felt? L couldn't imagine him thinking he was anything less than spectacular. Light Yagami was perfect; he had no reason to feel this way. But maybe this was why he was perfect. If you over-analyzed every single aspect of your being you would soon become obsessed with doing everything right.

The insomniac closed the browser and decided to check his email. His inbox had 3 unread messages, two he expected from the head of the NPA. The third message was the one that caught his eye.

**From: Unknown Sender**

**Subject: (No Subject)**

**Date: Tuesday, August 25, 2009****03:30:42 -0700**

_Dear L,_

_I want you to find me._

_http: 1687567435670 . 678hjjy/63g8 . jp_

He clicked the link, intrigued by the mystery sender. It was strange that this person was able to find his email address, be able to bypass the security Watari had set up and still managed to remain anonymous.

The website had a black background, with only a blinking red dot in the center. He clicked on it, and a popup appeared.

'Enter Your Name'

_How strange,_the panda thought_._ He hesitantly typed in 'L' and was taken immediately to another page. Three red dots faded into the screen, and the numbers 1, 2, and 3 were shown when he hovered over them. Number 1 was first, so he followed the link. The page displayed a copy of a document with the Bethlem Royal Hospital stamp on it.

Patient: Antoniou, Adonis (D.O.B. 11-21-84)

Comments: Resident has yet to show signs of mental rehabilitation.

L knew who this person was. He was A, his suicidal successor who took his life because of the pressure of being the next L. The next page showed several records of Adonis Antoniou's attempted escapes from the institution. He knew that A was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for suicidal behavior, but he didn't know that he tried so hard to break loose from confinement.

There were no more links on the website. He tried clicking on anything, typing all the letters on the keyboard, but instead opted for going back to the main page. But when he got there the main page was blank.

…

Matt unlocked the door to his and Mello's apartment, ready for the hell on the other side.

"Mells? I'm home! Got you some Ghirardelli!" He walked in to find Mello sitting on the couch, arms crossed and looking pissed off as usual.

"Oh. You got me chocolate. It would taste better if I got it from the REAL MATT!" he yelled, scowling at the poor redhead.

"Mello. For the last time. I am not a fake." He furrowed his brow and gave the blond the candy. "I looked it up on the web, and I'm pretty sure you have the Capgras Delusion. It's where you think someone you know has been replaced by an identical impostor."

"Fake Matt, I don't have a delusion." He unwrapped one of the squares and savored a bite. "And you're not identical. Matt had goggles."

"Just because I'm not wearing my goggles doesn't mean I'm a different person! Jesus Christ!"

"Then why don't you wear them anymore? Huh?!" He got off the couch and grabbed the gamer by his fluffy vest.

"Because you BROKE them!!" He yelled, storming into the kitchen to light a cigarette with the gas stove. "And you know what?! I'm taking you to the fucking doctor, man. You need help, and we need couples therapy."

Mello fumed inside, but remained silent.

…

"Ah... Hello Light-kun. How are you?" L took a seat beside the brunette. "I see you keep coming back here. Do you find her procedures beneficial?"

Light sighed and fidgeted a little. "Not really. I always have to repeat facts about my life. It's like she's waiting for me to break down and reveal some big secret that would be the key to my anxiety. But it doesn't work like that."

"I concur. She doesn't have much talent." He noticed some papers in Light's hands. "What are those?"

Light laughed slightly, and L thought that was amazing. "She made me fill out some forms, to better describe my experience during a panic attack." He rolled his eyes.

It was quiet for a moment until L spoke again. "I have a riddle for you. My voice is tender, my waist is slender and I'm often invited to play. Yet wherever I go I must take my bow or else I have nothing to say. What am I?"

Light felt his cheeks heat up. _My voice is tender, my waist is slender._Was Ryuuzaki the answer? "I- uh. I don't know Ryuuzaki."

"A violin." _Ohhhhhhh._

"A violin??" Came an excited voice. "What about a violin?" L and Light turned to see a quirky young man with dark hair parted on side. He had big puppy dog eyes and was holding a bag of ice. Wait, a bag of ice?

"Who are you?" Sounded L's bored voice.

"Hello!" He cheered. "I'm Touta Matsuda! What's your name?"

"Light Yagami."

"Gackt."

They watched Touta Matsuda fish some ice from the bag and shove it in his mouth. "Nice to meet you guys! I really hope we can be friends!" He sat next to L. "Will you be my friend? I promise I won't be troublesome! My mom said I was troublesome. But not anymore! Matsuda is gonna get better."

"What's wrong with you?" Light questioned.

"I have no idea." He smiled and put more ice in his mouth, crunching it loudly. "But I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with me."

A/n: Oh jeevas. It's 6:00 am now XD


	13. Tea

A/N: Accidents involving coffee in this chapter are things that really happened to me. I'm such a klutz :/ Also, the teahouse is modeled after an antique shop that serves afternoon tea that I go to occasionally.

…

L carried a hot cup of coffee with two fingers as he made his way from the kitchen to his laptop. Next to the chair, he crouched down and inspected one of many manila files scattered on the floor. He brought the cup to his mouth, afraid to drink too much and burn his tongue. When he was little he stole a sip of some of Wammy's coffee and accidentally spilled it all over himself, burning his chest and turning the milky skin red. Slowly, he slurped at the rim of the cup, but nothing came out. L slurped harder, finally breathing in a mouthful of coffee.

He felt the hot liquid in his throat, realizing he just _inhaled_ coffee. He tried to swallow, but had to cough at the same time. The scratching feeling was overwhelming; it seemed L had no control over his reaction. He finally coughed, spewing hot coffee all over himself and some papers. "Damn," he muttered as his lazy attempt to clean it up left little brown dots on everything.

Watari would have some cleaning up to do.

In the meantime, L decided to check for any more mysterious emails. The night before he received a very difficult sudoku puzzle with four of the boxes shaded gray. The four numbers were 1, 2, 8, and 9. If you read them from top to bottom, it read 1982, the year L was born.

This didn't exactly narrow it down, since there were doctors who knew his birth date, and if someone knew his alias it would be easy to steal the files and look it up. L considered the anybody who knew A back at the Wammy House the top suspects. Number one would be Beyond Birthday, he had no doubt about that. The man was absolutely insane. L knew it wouldn't be long before there would be a murder or a crime of some sort; all he could do now is wait for any more clues.

He had two unread messages. One was deleted immediately after seeing that the sender was a certain Dr. Califono. The second message caught L off guard, and well, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't on the verge of doing Snoopy dances. The sender: Light Yagami.

**From: Light Yagami **

**Subject: (none)**

_Ryuuzaki,_

_Are you free this afternoon? Want to get some coffee?_

_-Light_

L gasped, which made a weird, slightly orgasmic sound. God, what time was it? The clock said 2:40 pm. Without any hesitation, L found his cell phone and dialed the number for Light's apartment.

"Hello?" Light's voice was so handsome!

"Light-kun? I got your email, and I would be very pleased to accept your request. Where do you propose we meet?"

"Oh, hey Ryuuzaki. I was thinking Starbucks or something."

Ugh. L knew he wouldn't be welcome there after yesterday's incident regarding whipped cream. He tried to think of somewhere else, somewhere that would impress Light.

"I know a European teahouse by the Akane-Kohana Park. Do you want to go there instead?"

"Yeah, sounds good. We meet there around 3:00?"

"Yes, that would be ideal."

Light heard a beep announcing that their conversation was over.

…

Light parallel-parked near the entrance to what looked like an antique second-hand store with a handmade sign in the window and a chalkboard outside the door listing the daily specials. After walking inside he found it a cozy alternative to the cold overcast outside. He scanned the room, looking for a familiar face. There! Next to the confectionery display stood a hunched-over man, thumb resting on his lip as dark eyes examined the treats. He approached him, maneuvering around the little tables and artifacts.

L spotted Light out of the corner of his eye. He was wearing a dark gray wool sweater and dark jeans with rips in them that looked far too tight for L's taste. L himself had simply wore his usual outfit and his pea coat with the collar flipped up and a blue scarf to keep his neck warm. At the peak of the typhoon season, the winds were especially harsh and the air nipped at his nose, leaving it pink and sniffling in he stayed out too long. He still had a cold from his little adventure at the market.

"Hello Light," L greeted, "shall we find a table?"

Light nodded silently, feeling nervous in the crowded atmosphere. They took a seat in the far corner next to a window that looked out to the park across the street. A piano melody played softly. Two teacups and a kettle paired with an assortment of teabags were waiting for them.

L crouched and fixed himself an overly sweet cup of Earl Gray while Light chose green tea. it wasn't long before a waitress brought a three-tiered stand, the bottom had a bunch of little sandwiches, the middle had two scones and scattered apple slices, and the top had two lemon tarts, cookies and little candies.

To Light's great surprise, L reached for one of the sandwiches at the bottom. Albeit it was a cranberry turkey sandwich, and the greens were immediately plucked out.

"Ryuuzaki, that's unlike you. I thought for sure you would have gone straight for those sweets at the top."

"It is customary to eat from the bottom to the top." He nibbled at the bread. Light took a cucumber sandwich for himself.

"I've never heard of this place before you told me about it. Have you been here before?" Light asked, sipping his tea and leaning back in his chair, legs crossed.

"I bought some of the cakes before. I used to go to teahouses like this back in England all the time."

"I didn't know you were English. I've never met someone from outside Japan before."

"Mm," L said dismissively and turned to look out the window. Light rested his elbow on the table and leaned on it, looking in the same direction as Ryuuzaki. Outside the wind shook the trees violently.

They sat there quietly, eating up their food slowly. Light let L have his tart, but L managed to convince him to eat one of the scones. The jam was very sweet and the bread was very crisp and had a fluffy texture. Occasionally L would ask Light questions about his education and where he planned to go in his career. L felt comfortable asking questions he knew the answer to, so he could come up with a proper response by the time Light finished talking.

A woman would occasionally refill the teapot with hot water. They each drank several cups, L only stopped when he ran out of sugar packets and one of the workers had to get some more. Sometimes L would sniffle and would politely excuse himself if he sneezed and needed a tissue.

They were there for a long time, almost two hours. It was a while before Light realized he wasn't panicking. The jittery feeling wasn't there. It had been _months_ since Light had been able to go out and not feel anxious.

"Are we about finished then?" L asked, standing up and brushing any crumbs off himself.

Light didn't want to leave yet. He wanted to stay with Ryuuzaki. For once there was no rush to get home. He could stay out, be away from the enclosed space of his bedroom.

"Let's go to the park." He said, gesturing towards the swaying trees.

"In this weather?" L said quietly, surprised by Light's sudden spontaneity.

"C'mon, it'll be fun."

A/N: I hoped for this chapter to be longer and include the park scene and Misa's appearance, but it's been way to long since I updated.


	14. What Friends Do

Disclaimer: Don't own Death Note or Bodyline (if I did it wouldn't have such ridiculous clothes!)

Light led the way, excited about his newfound composure. It was almost a high, feeling normal for once. Like when during school or work everyone stops to have an assembly or a piece of birthday cake. A change in the usual routine always is cause for excitement, or a change in emotion. These changes keep life interesting and meaningful. Light _needed_ things to be different. The need for a change in emotion, especially. He couldn't function anymore; every social gathering ended the same way. Failure. Depression had started to gnaw at his mind, things became pointless and everyone became an idiot. But it was mostly because he was the top student of his class, number one son, a genius. And he had become a failure.

But today he hadn't failed. He managed to persist without retreating.

He was so happy; in fact, he didn't realize that he was holding L's hand as he dragged him across the street.

"Light-kun, there is no hurry. 'Stop and sniff the flowers,' as they say." L made it seem like it was an instruction.

"I'm sorry Ryuuzaki," he said with a smile.

The overcast sky painted the trees and flowers with a sheen of gray, the grass sprinkled with little droplets of rain from the occasional shower. The first thing they saw was a small, abandoned playground with swings that squeaked in the wind and slippery wooden structures. A large, empty baseball diamond was between the playground and the trial leading through the woods. They took the sidewalk, heading for the trail.

"Light-kun?"

"Yeah?" He answered, still in his own little world.

"You're holding my hand." Light stopped walking and snapped his hand back, a blush growing on his cheeks. "How strange," L continued, "you seemed fine with it before I pointed it out. Does this mean Light-kun is especially fond of me but is embarrassed to say so?"

Light's eyes widened and he was unsure how to answer.

"What? No! Ryuuzaki! ...uh..."

They stayed still and silent and a very awkward moment passed.

...

"I'm kidding." L said plainly, secretly embarrassed himself.

…

Misa-Misa skipped down the street in a brand-new, custom made Bodyline dress that Mr. Yan made especially for her. This dress in particular was black and white and had an asymmetrical hem and a mock corset. On only one of the sleeves were two rows of ruffles, while the other side was sleeveless. Her headdress was less confusing, a simple black veil with black ribbon-roses, contrasting nicely with her silver-lilac wig. She carried a red coffin bag big enough to hold her laptop with a big studded cross and long pleather straps and chains here and there.

"Natsuko-chan said the shop would be around here..." she muttered.

She was looking for a European teahouse near the Akane-Kohana Park.

"Here it is!" Misa cheered when she spotted the little shop. A handmade sign in the window read "Queen Marilyn's Cafe." The sweet smell of apple pie flowed from the open door, inviting her in. "Wow! How adorable! I should take Light-chan here sometime!"

Not long after settling down and receiving a cup of peppermint tea did she spot the man she firmly believed to be her soulmate.

"Light!" She gasped, accidentally pouring crackers in her tea. "Ehhgh..."

Her wig and veil would be enough to conceal her identity, so she made up her mind. She was going to spy on Light.

He was sitting next to someone she couldn't quite see, just the hair. It was black and poufy, kind of reminding her of the hair in visual kei bands like Malice Mizer or Dir en gray_,_ but toned down considerably. She couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl, but if it was a girl she would definitely call him out on it.

She took her teacup with a lace-gloved hand and moved to an empty table where she could see them better.

_What is my Light-chan doing with an Edward Scissorhands cosplayer? And a bad one at that, he doesn't even have the knives on his hands..._

A long time went by and nothing else happened. They were just sitting there! It seemed they weren't even talking much, just being really quiet and eating.

And then they were leaving. When Light stood up, Misa got a clear view of his face. He was so incredibly happy at that moment. In the years of secretly watching him at school (and never being acknowledged) she had never seen him so blissful and unaware of his non-meticulous and predicted movements, it didn't matter to him then, and that single moment, that he wasn't perfect. No one is, it's impossible to be.

Misa knew all about that.

She huffed and flipped her false-colored hair. Her skirt brushed against the fragile trinkets as she moved back to her seat, pretending nothing had happened. She supposed that pretending was meant to fool others, not you, but she continued to act oblivious. Pretending that some freaky little man-child _thing_didn't just steal her fantasy of breaking the oh-so hard exterior that came with the Light Yagami package. It was something she would dream up in different scenarios, each one ending with Light's declaration of love for her. She purposely made her actions cute, blinking her eyes and holding her cup daintily, yet it felt so unnatural. That man ruined her afternoon tea! A sense of unworthiness made it's way from her chest to her temples, leaving ache in its path.

"I'm going to be happy today." She told herself that morning. Daybreak promised her a good day.

It was a lie.

"I'm going to be happy today," she repeated quietly. After paying and gathering her things, she left the store. From across the street, she saw Light and the mystery man standing next to each other, talking for a little bit. Light looked embarrassed, they continued to walk towards the trail that went through the park.

The park! The beautiful garden always cheered her up, maybe she could go there, she could get someone to take pictures of her posing with the flowers.

Misa-Misa skipped down the street in the same direction Light had gone, carefully lagging behind so as not to be noticed.

…

"Ryuuzaki, do you know how far this trail goes?"

"Well," he hummed in that listless voice Light was starting to really like the sound of. "I know that if we go far enough, there will be some rather old houses, most of them unoccupied."

Light blinked. "Old houses? And when you day that most of them are unoccupied, what do you mean by that?"

"I mean that out of 14 houses, there are 13 that have deteriorated past the point of ever reconstructing them. I own the last one, but I haven't been there in years." He watched a leaf skitter across their path. "I hired people to maintain it, though."

_How rich_is _Ryuuzaki? It's like money doesn't even matter to him..._

"What time period are they from?" He ran a hand through chocolate hair.

"The Meiji period," L replied, still in that slightly bent over position. "Ten years before WWI a rich Englishman traveled here to study traditional Japanese art. He bought the land around this area and tried to build several mansions, but he abandoned the project when his wife died in a kitchen fire in the main building. What's left there is hardly ever visited and most people who go to this park aren't even aware of them. If they found them, then I doubt they would investigate them further."

"Why is that?"

L frowned and slowed his pace. "They are very eerie."

The woods became sparser and they were greeted with two rectangular flower beds before the entrance to the rose garden. In the harsh wind the roses continued to bloom, defying Mother Nature's wish for them to sleep.

"Let's go inside the gazebo so we can get out of the wind for a while." Light said, heading for said structure. It was fairly tall and enclosed with wrought iron windows and a matching door. The iron was fixed in a swirly pattern that resembled hearts, then branching out and getting more complex.

Inside was a bit warmer; however, the stone benches were ice-cold. L nearly shrieked when his bum touched the seat; he jumped up quickly, making Light chuckle.

"It seems it's too cold to sit down." L frowned, reminding Light of his sister when his family had been walking for too long and she was tired and had a fit. L was very childish in Light's eyes, yet he seemed so mature and smart and wise as the elderly. Quite a contradiction.

"Here," he removed his sweater and set it on the bench, and L did the same with his wool coat. Underneath, his white shirt proved to be too thin. "You're shivering."

"Can I move close to you like last time?"

Light hesitated. "Well, I guess so, Ryuuzaki." L rested his head on Light's shoulder, but it didn't really help.

So he decided to straddle Light and hug his waist.

"So warm..." He breathed, burying his face in the cotton shirt, a button presses against the bride of his nose.

Light simply took a deep breath and dealt with it. He was starting to get used to the panda's eccentricities.

A soft rain started and the drops of water against the roof and became a symphony, a muted and constant rhythm. In the silence, L realized that Light was truly his first friend.

How long had it been since they had met? It seems as children we find someone we can tolerate, and then promise to be together forever. The concept of "friends forever" was something they both pondered, tried to dissect the meaning. Neither really believed in "forever," or eternity. What was this infatuation with keeping someone near you your entire life? As we get older and meet more people, we are molded into others and our own expectations and change over time. Light sometimes wondered how different he would be if he was incredibly close to the first friend he ever made.

Would he be anxious? Would he panic?

"Light?" Ryuuzaki whispered.

"Yeah, what is it?" he replied, keeping the tone of voice. It seemed to fit the tranquility of the situation. The brunette felt like he was in another world entirely from the storm outside.

L leaned back and looked Light in the eye. "Is this normal? Is this something friends do?" His dark eyes penetrated Light as he asked the question.

He took a deep breath, inaudibly.

"No."

L removed himself and sat on his coat again, legs dangling like any other person, charcoal orbs fixed on chocolate eyes. Light moved a little closer.

"What do you mean by that?"

"We're close together; we've slept in the same bed. Things like that usually have... romantic connotations."

The obsessive compulsive leaned forward, pressing his forehead against the straight raven locks. L saw that Light's eyes were closed, so he did the same.

"Light..." He was moving closer to L. Their lips hovered next to each other, not touching just yet. "...wait..."

Light's hand cupped Ryuuzaki's face. They could feel the other's hot breath as they breathed through their slightly open mouths.

"I've never... kissed someone before."

Somehow, Light wasn't surprised.

Slowly, L pressed his lips against Light's in a deliberate fashion, taking his bottom lip in between his own at first. He opened his eyes and was met with serious ones that had now taken on a honey-colored hue. Their lids closed once again as Light deepened the kiss.

With his eyes closed, L felt so strange. He could only sense pressure on his mouth, changing as the other man kissed him. The panda was glad he hadn't stuck his tongue in this particular orifice.

Finally, they separated, panting a little, and L realized he had stopped breathing.

Ryuuzaki smiled a little at Light.

Somewhere in the distance, they heard a woman scream. Then someone was moving towards the gazebo.

Misa.


	15. Confession

Ryuuzaki's lips were so soft, so hesitant. Light could feel the same tightness in his chest that was there during his first kiss. An intense passion fluttered in his heart as Ryuuzaki kissed him back.

Misa shoved open the door to the gazebo forcefully so the metal frame crashed into the iron designs on the windows resulting in a clang that reverberated through the walls and up the spines of the two frightened men.

Light, having not recognizing Misa on account that he never spoke to her or even had classes with her when they went to the same schools, was very, very confused.

"LIGHT!" She shreiked, "it's raining so hard! Misa is drenched and is so happy to see you here!" She looked at Ryuuzaki, his lips slightly red and his hair twisted where Light had clutched it during their kiss. He panted, overwhelmed by the entire situation.

"Who are you?" L asked politely.

"Who are YOU?"

"Who are you and how do you know my name?"

Misa ignored Light and approached Ryuuzaki with strong eyes.

"What are you doing with Misa's Light?"

"Wh- what?" L squeaked.

_Misa's_ Light? Light had a girlfriend? That kiss they just shared, everything, meant nothing to him. L's hearts shattered as he came to this realization.

"I'm sorry. I'll just leave." Ryuuzaki ran out of the gazebo, leaving his coat behind. Light watched as the thin man rushed down the trail, into the woods.

"Ryuuzaki, wait!" he tried to follow after him, but Misa had a death grip on his arm. "Please! I can't just let him go! He's... he's my boyfriend..."

"What are you talking about? Light would never cheat on Misa!" she pushed Light away. "You we're just practicing for Misa, right?" She was so enchanted with Light, she was so confused.

"I'm... sorry? I've never even seen you before." Light was truly apologetic, this poor women needed help.

"Not even at school?" Misa's blue eyes were watering, glistening with tears as they fought to escape.

"I'm sorry," he started to make his way towards the exit.

"Not even as the face of Misa-Misa's Market?"

"I'm sorry."

"Not even in the Gothic and Lolita Bible's Pore Trait Ah Harajuku?"

The brunette visibly winced as she butchered the language. Poor French people.

He needed to get out. His legs were burning and his heart thumped in his chest. Light backed up against one of the walls, clutching the sides as he slid down to the floor.

"Light! What's wrong?"

He was shaking as he realized that there was no way he would make it back to the car in time. _In time for what?_And Ryuuzaki ran away, believing that he loved someone else. Everything had been ruined in a matter of seconds.

Misa kneeled down next to him. "Light..."

He buried his head in his hands, his fingers clutching at his bangs. "I have to go find him."

"Okay. Let Misa help."

Light didn't like this woman, or at least the impression he got of her. He was nervous about being alone with her; she was nothing compared to how Ryuuzaki made him feel.

"Fine." He bounded up, grabbed L's wool coat, and they ventured out into the storm.

...

"Mello we have to leeeave!" Matt called from outside the apartment in the general direction of their living space. The window was open, after all.

He sucked on a cigarette, taking in that last bit of nicotine before throwing in on the ground and stomping on it.

"Mells!"

"Just a second! For fuck's sake!"

"Seriously man, we have to leave. Right. Now."

"Dammit!" Mello stormed down the steps with his fingers fussing with his hair and his outfit looked thrown together; a simple leather jacket and red skinny jeans.

Matt started the car when he saw him, speeding off as soon as the blond got in the car. Their therapy session started five minutes ago.

Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" was playing on the radio. God, how Mello hated this song. What was worse is that Matt was singing along.

"Can't read my- can't read my pokerrr faaace!" Oh my GOD. This was so annoying. "Can't read my Mello face my Me- Me- Mello FACE!" Matt grinned at the blond as he incorporated him into the song.

"Matt keep your eyes on the road!" Mello grabbed the steering wheel just in time to keep them from hitting a group of little kids.

"Learn how to drive, bitch!" One of the little boys screamed.

Matt was horrified. Mello would definitely tear him a new one because of his reckless driving. And singing.

But Mello was laughing. "You... you just got told off by some kid!" Mello looked kind of demonic when he laughed. "Heh... reminds me of when we were younger and used to curse Roger out all the time..." He smiled, and Matt smiled back.

It wouldn't be long before Mello was back in "you're an impostor" mode.

When they reached the office, Matt checked them in and then they ran to the office of their couple's therapist, some Dr. Takemoto guy.

…

"Ryuuzaki!" Light yelled through the wind and the rain. He could see L ahead of him; he just needed to catch up.

L acted as though he didn't hear him. He didn't know if he was breathing so sharply from running or crying, but he could feel the sting of tears peaking at his eyes. Part of him wanted to go back to Light and part of him felt like he should just run away. He almost wanted Light to catch up.

Luckily for both of them, Light was a pretty good runner.

He wrapped those strong arms around Ryuuzaki and ceased his efforts to get away.

"Please, Ryuu. You have to listen to me." L shuddered in his arms. What was wrong with him? Why was he so weak all of a sudden?

He had been weak enough to believe that Light, of all people, cared about him.

"Ryuuzaki," he said into L's hair. "I love you."

"How can you say that..." L said sharply, "when you don't even know me?" L pulled away from Light and looked at him wholly and took everything in.

"I love you, Ryuuzaki."

"You don't even know me. And I don't even know you."

"I'm not the same as I was before I met you. You changed me, and who you are looking at is someone you know completely." Light was so intense right now. There was no sign of a panic disorder in those chocolate eyes.

"I'm not the same either... I... I'm so pathetic! Crying like a little baby!" L turned away. He was even stuttering now, which was rare since Watari taught him at an early age to speak articulately. It was gentleman-like.

"You're not pathetic, Ryuuzaki. You're perfect."

"Stop it Light! You don't even know who I_am_! All the things I've ever done or... or sins I've committed!"

"Then tell me." Light said bluntly, crossing his arms.

Ryuuzaki was quiet for a long time, his hands shoved into his pockets as he looked somewhere far away. Trying to decide...

He decided he didn't even care anymore.

Light watched as the fragile man moved towards him again, put those soft lips to his ear and whispered,

"I am L."

A/N: I'm sorry it took so long! This chapter seemed really short but the next chapter will be better! There's still Matt and Mello's therapy session, and L is going to get more mysterious e-mails.


	16. Trust

Ryuuzaki was L! The amazing, super-detective that could control the entire police force in any given country. Perhaps the most powerful man in the world! This only made him love Ryuuzaki even more, though it would probably be dangerous, him being so close to L. But he could remember other things his father told him about L being distrustful and doing illegal things to solve the case. Surely, L had good reason for it. Light could never believe that Ryuuzaki had evil intentions.

"Light! You're running too fast! Misa can't keep up!" Why had she worn her rocking horse shoes today? It's like running in freaking clogs!

She finally caught up, bent over and out of breath. Ryuuzaki looked as if he might have been crying, but it looked like they reconciled.

"Okay, so now that you guys are friends again, can it be Misa's turn now?"

"Turn?" Light asked huskily, consequently making both Misa and L jizz their pants.

"To be your girlfriend, silly! We can take turns, like a threesome! But I don't think I could date Ryuuzaki..." She looked at Ryuuzaki, who took it upon himself to look as creepy as possible in that exact moment (Those eyes can be so scary!). "But Misa isn't saying he's ugly or anything! He's just... not her type."

Light sighed heavily, he didn't even want to bother with this right now.

"Ryuuzaki, can you lead us to that building you mentioned earlier?"

"Oh! Yes, of course." L began walking down the trail to show the way. The rain stopped suddenly again, but there were no rays of sun to lighten the mood. Misa followed them; she seemed to have invited herself. "Misa, do you have to come?"

"Oh! You're so mean! Misa is cold and wants to get inside! And you should call me Amane!"

"I don't want you to come. I don't like you."

Misa gasped. "How rude!"

"Come, on Ryuuzaki, don't be rude." Light said sarcastically.

"No! I don't want her to come! This was supposed to be our time together!" L was dimly aware that he was acting like a baby, but it seemed he couldn't control himself.

Light moved closer to him and said in a low voice, "Don't make her mad. We don't know what she's capable of." They shared a tiny laugh.

L pouted, which turned out to be an adorable look on him. "Fine."

…

Dr. Takemoto nearly jumped three feat in the air as two men burst through the door.

"We're here!" Matt exclaimed.

What the hell was on his head?

Matt and Mello looked in both disgust and amazement at this man's hair. It was slick and... Looked like a baguette was coming out of his forehead. Same color and shape... He was also wearing a blue Hawaiian skirt. Mello fought the urge to retch.

"Welcome to couple's therapy," he said with a lisp. "Please, have a seat."

Simultaneously, they sat down on the red love seat. Mello leaned back seductively, while Matt pushed his butt to the very back and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. The doctor wondered how such seemingly opposite people could be lovers.

"How are you feeling? Feeling good?"

"Yeah, sure." Was Matt's response, and

"Fuckin' great!" Was Mello's. His eyes were wide and became little black pupils.

"Sarcasm... you seem to be hiding something. Tell me what your problem is."

Mello huffed and crossed his legs. "My problem is that this isn't even my boyfriend."

"Okay..." the doctor said, confused.

Matt had the instinct to pull out his new _red_ DS (it matched his car), but he forgot to grab it in their rush.

"But you decided to go to couple's counseling anyway. You are not a couple if he is not your boyfriend. Is this correct?"

"He made me!" Mello pointed a finger in Matt's face. The sight of his chipped nail polish reminded him that he really needed to redo his nails.

"There is obviously a trust issue here..." he sighed. "You don't believe he's your boyfriend?"

"He's a fake."

"No. I. Am. Not." Matt said plainly.

"What makes you say he's a fake?"

"The real Matt wears goggles." He pulled out a candy bar. "This one isn't."

"You broke them," Matt muttered.

"You broke his goggles? Tsk tsk." He leaned back in his chair and tossed his hands in the air. "Why?"

"I was stressed out that day and he was being an ass and insulting me-"

"Oh my bullshit detector just went supernova!" Matt said, lifting his head up. "You broke them because you didn't like the chocolate I got you!"

"I wanted Ghirardelli and got me a HERSHEY bar!"

Dr. Takemoto sighed again. "Alright, time for individual interviews. Blondie goes first."

Mello huffed as Matt moved past him, out the door and down the stairs.

He needed another smoke. Time to go outside.

He lit his little cancer stick and took a very satisfying inhale. Exhaling, he tried to blow a ring of smoke. He was getting better at it, too.

"That's bad for your health!" a cheery voice said.

Matt whipped around to see a young man sitting on the bench. "Who the hell are you?"

"Touta Matsudaaaa!" He laughed. "Nice to meet you!" he waved.

"Jesus Christ." Matt said aloud, sinking into the collar of his vest and hoping Matsuda would get the message.

…

The walk wasn't very long, but it didn't go along the trail. L led them into the woods on an overgrown narrow path. The wind had rustled the trees bare. The unkempt foliage was a constant reminder of the few people to pass through.

A small, leafless apple tree caught Light's eye. Little, crimson apples dangled from the tiny branches, like oversized Christmas ornaments. A very morbid Christmas tree, though, since the apples had rotted long ago. They were a sharp contrast to the gray atmosphere.

L loved walking through the woods whenever he got the chance, especially after the rain. That way the cold air pierced his nose and the fresh air that cleansed his lungs and mind were very calming.

Misa wasn't having any of it, though.

"Light-chaan! How much longer is Ryuuzaki going to make us walk?"

This girl was starting to get annoying. Light just rolled his eyes and said, "Are we almost there?"

"It's just a bit longer." L slowed down so he and Light were next to each other and grabbed his hand. Misa retaliated by grabbing the other.

Light was his, dammit! They went on a date and kissed, they even had a sleepover! Misa had no right to try to steal him like that.

The path finally came to a clearing and they pushed open an old, little wrought iron gate. Beyond it was another path leading to the house L had mentioned. It was a three story, brick house with an old veranda. It had a lot of potential, but with paint was chipped and the windows were broken in. There wasn't any graffiti or any signs of vandalism, though. You could tell that the bricks used to be red, but they had deteriorated to the point of just a smooth, grey surface with blotches of the old color. The columns and fence lining the veranda had a very intricate design that curled around itself. L led them to the back door, an old old, yet sturdy door that swung open with a drawn out squeak.

"Some rooms are still being cleaned out. Small rodents and such inhabit them. But the biggest rooms have just finished most of the reconstruction, so it just needs to be decorated and furnished a bit more."

Misa gazed across the woods and saw another building, but this one had a collapsed roof._This place would be perfect for a gothic photo shoot!_ She thought.

To Light, there was something very satisfying about the sound of his shoes clacking against hardwood floors. The sound echoed through the empty house, making his presence all too obvious.

It was just them, no one else.

Now, there was a time when Light liked to be the center of attention, and to be with the massive "popular" groups that roamed around the school and blocked your way during passing period. But that was almost irrelevant now.

Inside was very dark, as well, and there was something calming about that. The room they entered appeared to be some sort of library. The corridors were narrow, and the enclosed space was calming, too. The bookshelves were framed by fancy little gates. Decorating the room was horribly peeling paint on the walls and door frames that looks like a horrid monster had ran his claws down them. The smell of old musk and cigarette smoke assaulted their nostrils.

"Wow, Ryuuzaki, this is an impressive library."

"Thank you." L said quietly. "Amane-san, could we have a moment alone?"

Misa glared at him. "What? So you can make out? I won't let you. Hmmf!"

"It's something important we need to discuss." L sounded very annoyed.

"Where am I supposed to go? I don't know where anything is in this stupid house!"

"Outside in the rain should be just fine."

Light pinched the bridge of his nose. "Amane-san, could go to the far end of the room? You should be able to hear us over there if we whisper, and you can still see us."

Misa complied, a little angry that Light called her Amane. She tossed her wig to the floor and ruffled out her blonde hair. The room didn't have a mirror though, so she might have to go without pigtails.

When they were alone, L spoke up. "I told you my identity believing that you would keep it a secret. I am willing to put a great amount of faith in you, and if you prove to be untrustworthy, do you understand that there will be consequences?"

"Yeah, I understand." Light smirked. "I can't believe you're really him. I imagined L would be a lot older."

"Yes, that seems like it would be a very common belief."

It was so quiet, save for the wind beating against the old house. The branches of baby trees rapped against the windows, scraping a clawing at the glass.. "Why'd you tell me?"

"Because... I think I love you, too. I don't want to think about leaving Japan and never seeing you again." L's eyes drifted downward, it was embarrassing to say these things.

Light smiled at him. It had been an incredibly eventful day, and hearing theses words made it all worth it.

…

"Please, listen to what I am saying! You have psychiatric disorder!"

Mello grabbed Dr. Takemoto's shirt and lifted him up. "Bullshit!"

The poor doctor was trembling, absolutely frightened by Mello's antics. "No, really! You have the Capgras Delusion! That man is really your boyfriend." He tried to smile.

"I'm leaving." He pushed him backward.

"Send the redhead up!" he called out as he was leaving. The redhead, though, would never arrive.

Their first therapy session had proved to be a complete failure.

…

"Amane-san, may I use your laptop? I want to show Light something."

Misa was about to say no, but she decided she didn't want to make Light angry with her.

L pushed aside one of the gates and led them into the center of the room, where a table and two chairs sat. He and Misa each took a seat, while Light stood. L turned on the laptop and went through a long series a garbled codes in order to hack into his own email.

He had one unread message, containing another link, with no other words.

The link took him to the same website, but this time instead of "Enter Your Name" it said "Enter My Name." Without hesitation, L entered "Beyond Birthday," but nothing happened.

L typed in "Adonis Antoniou" and was taken to the next page. It appeared to be a gallery, but when L sifted through it, most of the pictures said "unavailable."

"I've been receiving emails like this recently. I believe I know who it is, but I don't know what his intentions are."

"What else did he send you?" Light was leaning over L with his eyes glued to the screen.

"A report on a patient in a mental hospital. He committed suicide but tried to escape the asylum many times." L didn't say anything else about A. He couldn't with Misa there.

As L sifted through the gallery, a photo finally showed up. It was an autopsy report for A; a simple drawing of a human with marks and note explaining the findings. There appeared to be wounds on his wrists, and one in his chest. A bullet wound to his head was concluded to be the cause of death.

Misa wasn't paying attention, instead she was attempting to put her pigtails in using the reflection in her compact.

L was studying the picture very closely. There was something wrong with the bullet wound. Why would A cut himself _and_ shoot himself? And just where would he find a gun in an asylum? A razor or a knife would be understandable, but a gun?

A blinking red dot appeared on the center of the screen. When L clicked on it, a scan of a Japanese newspaper popped up. It was an obituary for a man named Sora Sato, a young medical student with straight, medium-length black hair, very light skin, 5ft 10" and 110lbs, dark grey eyes, and a fondness for traditional Japanese sweets, or "wa-gashi." He was murdered in an empty hospital room.

The physical characteristics matched the detective down to the height and weight.

"R-Ryuuzaki..." Light took a shaky breath as he, too, noticed this.

"Watari?"

"Yes Ryuuzaki?"

L was standing outside as wind shook his hair. He held his phone in that peculiar way of his.

"I told Light Yagami about my identity."

Wammy sighed into the phone. "You're certain he can be trusted? You've never revealed yourself in person before."

"I am absolutely certain that he can be trusted."

Watari was surprised at his confidence. "Very well. Where are you?"

"At the Victorian safehouse. The storm is quite harsh, so I think we'll have to spend the night. A woman who knows Light is here as well, but she's too daft to understand who I am, or to ask questions."

"Alright, Ryuuzaki. I'll come for you in the morning. Goodbye."

"Goodbye Watari." L snapped his phone shut and entered the house again. Misa and Light were in the main room, which was rather plain compared to the library. A picture of the home's previous master hung above the burnt-out fireplace. L hated the way the man's piercing silver eyes solemnly watched over the house he basically stole from him.

Misa was on her laptop, showing Light a bunch of pictures he really didn't care about.

"This is me and my friend Aimi. She's wearing Angelic Pretty and I'm wearing Putumayo. Aren't we adorable?"

L gave Light a sympathetic look and sat down next to him. "Amane-san, it's very late."

"Oh!" Misa whined. "I guess you're right. Misa needs her beauty sleep."

All three of them moved to the master bedroom, where a new king-sized bed occupied the empty space. It was the only bed, so that meant that all three of them had to share.

They slept in their clothes. Light was in the middle with Misa on one side, trying to snuggle up to him while L curled up facing to other direction. Light wrapped his hands around L's small waist and held him from behind. L was so warm and being this close allowed them to relax and ease into the heat of the other man's body.

The brunette let out a sigh, but it was a sigh of comfort, of utter satisfaction in being able to explore a new relationship with someone he truly enjoyed.

Misa fell asleep first, Light was soon the follow. He was about to drift into unconsciousness when L said:

"You're breathing really loud."

"Ryuuzaki I was almost asleep!"

"Sorry." L took hold of Light's hand. "Do you think we'll ever break up?"

"No. We'll be together forever." Light said hazily.

"What if one of us dies? I don't know what I would do if you died."

"L," Light used his real name for the first time. "if i die before you, I want you to know that you should keep being happy. Keep living."

"What if you die before me?"

"That won't happen."

"Oh?"

"I won't ever let you die. You're only allowed to die after me."

"What if I die from natural causes?" L smiled. He loved to bombard people with questions.

"Then I will kill myself." Light started to sound a little annoyed. "Would that make you happy, Princess L?"

"No. _I'm_ going to die before you because I will never let _you_ die." L corrected. "I'm much more dedicated than you." L laughed.

"Wrong. I love you too much to let that happen."

"I love you more."

"I love you more."

"I love you more."

L giggled at the silliness of their argument. "Light, just accept defeat. You won't win this one."

"Sorry, L. I'm just too competitive. Let's call it a draw, for now."

L traced circles on the big hands of his newfound boyfriend. He never thought he'd get this lucky in his quest for friendship. He felt special and warm at hearing somebody say "I love you." The detective had never heard those words before, not even from Watari.

He lied there the whole night, his insomnia preventing sleep. Thoughts about the message Beyond was trying to send drifted through his mind. Was Beyond planning to murder him? Why would he even send the emails. There was no logic to them. Deliberately murdering people that looked like him and telling him about it was pointless. Beyond was obviously trying to intimidate him. Intimidation...

Was Beyond just trying to harass him? Get him all worked up over nothing just for fun. B was sick. But he was also a genius. Beyond Birthday knew the Wammy House system, he knew L's real name and what he looked like, too. There was a lingering possibility that B may find a way to kill L. He knew how to disguise himself and his connection to Wammy's could end up being dangerous. There was no proof that he killed Sora Sato, but L didn't need proof.

He gripped Light's hand tighter, focusing on the sound of his breathing and the warmth from his body.

L fell asleep at 7:00 am.

Watari arrived in the morning to pick them up at the park. They walked back through the woods, relieved that the weather was finally calm. He dropped Misa off first, then Light.

"I'll see you at therapy."

L nodded and watched Light walk away. "Watari."

"Yes, master L?"

"I want a sundae."

A/N: This chapter was so long! :) The story will start speeding up, but I wanted to put a lot of detail into their relationship after the kiss to make it seem realistic.


	17. Touch

A/N: I feel so bad about updating so late! My new year's resolution is to update quicker!

Also, there's a little bit of lemony goodness in this chapter, but not too much, so I don't think I need the raise the rating to mature.

Enjoy! Hope you enjoyed the holidays!

…

Light found that upon entering his apartment, he was incredibly tired. Sleeping next to L last night was comfortable, but they didn't have much time to sleep before the sunrise drifted through the windows and made sleep impossible.

The clock on the wall said 8:32 AM.

He took off his coat and hung it on the hook on the back of the door. He spent a while making sure it was centered before taking off his shoes. The tips had to be lined up just right, and when they were he went on to re-tying the laces. It took a while to make the loops and string match on both sides, but he was quite persistent. Light stood up and looked through the peephole on the door, checking to see if anyone was there. He began to walk away, but then felt he needed to check again.

After repeating this process seven or eight times, Light finally came to the conclusion that no one was out there. He locked the door.

It was now 9:03 AM.

He took slow, trudging steps to his bedroom, his sock-clad feet sliding against the hardwood floors. At his bedside, he took off his pants, folded them, and carefully dropped them into the laundry basket. Without lifting up the covers, he stretched himself across the bed.

In the pure emptiness of the house, he realized how quiet he was. He liked to be quiet; he saw disturbing or annoying people as inconceivable on his part. It was a major flaw. Such a strong consciousness of his own influences on others had led to his downfall, so to speak.

He was going to therapy. But therapy wasn't helping him, it was just an excuse to see L.

Light's body sprung from the bed as the phone rang. He rushed to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Light, it's your father."

_Crap._

"Why didn't you submit any case reports yesterday?"

"I was out with a friend."

"Really? You left your apartment? So the therapy's helping."

"Yeah." Light shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, who's this friend you went out with?"

"Um..." How was he supposed to explain Ryuuzaki to his dad? "I met him at therapy. He's a detective, too."

"You should bring him over. I'm sure your mother would like to meet him."

"Okay, dad. I have to work."

"Alright, my son. Call if you need anything."

Light moved to his desk and started up his laptop. The hum resonated through the room and broke the silence.

_What am I supposed to tell them? That I'm suddenly gay?_

The truth is, Light had been questioning his sexuality since puberty. While the guys around him would talk about hot girls or whatever, he never felt interested, so for a period of time he thought he was gay. It would gnaw at his brain every minute of every day, an obnoxious voice screaming "You're a fag!"

When he showered after gym he couldn't stop the thoughts that roamed his mind. After some time, he decided he liked shoulders. Broad shoulders on a thin man seemed very handsome. He also decided he liked bulging hip bones that popped out of a tiny, tiny waist. He like soft skin stretched over bones and wiry muscles. Confused and ashamed, Light began to deny his feelings altogether.

So began an awkward phase in Light Yagami's life. To counteract the "homo" aspects of his appearance, he stopped grooming his hair like before and cut it much shorter. In retrospect it was a bad idea, because his old haircut would've hid the acne on his forehead. He tried to join a sport to appear manlier, but he was too much of a ball hog for basketball, and they wouldn't let him join baseball because he couldn't catch the ball if his life depended on it. He could play tennis solo and seemed to have a natural talent for it. And when he started tennis, he got a girlfriend. Thankfully she convinced his to grow out his hair again.

Light eventually became more comfortable and less self-conscious, regarding any homosexual feeling as just a natural, teenage occurrence.

Getting close to Ryuuzaki made his realize that he did, in fact, like men. Maybe not men in general, but if he had a type it would be Ryuuzaki. A smart social reject like himself, with a hidden beauty underneath that ruffled hair. Light liked this very much.

…

Watari took a quick look to see if Ryuuzaki still had his back turned. Without drawing any suspicion, he popped open the lid to L's medicine. Apparently this was supposed to help him, but Watari wasn't sure if medication was required. L was extremely successful; he just couldn't function in society.

It was a low dose, a very small tablet that could easily be hidden in food. Watari chose Ryuuzaki's morning cinnamon roll and pressed it into the little hole in the enter. L wouldn't suspect a thing!

Watari delivered the tampered breakfast, finding L to be very transfixed with what was in the screen.

"Any new emails?"

"There was another victim. Taichi Takahashi. He matches the physical characteristics of the other victim and myself."

"Are there any other similarities?"

"Not as first glance. But seeing as his name is Beyond Birthday, I looked at the birthdays of the men. First was September 26 and then April 9. That's the fourth and ninth month."

"And?"

"Four plus nine is thirteen. Would you agree that the number 13 looks like the letter B?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact it does. So you think the next victim will be born in September."

"Correct. Not only will he be born in September, but he will be my height and weight and have an alliterative name. Sora Sato, Taichi Takahashi, and Beyond Birthday..."

"Do you intend on searching Japan for men who fit this characteristic?"

"That would be ideal. But even with both our abilities combined, we may not find him until it's too late."

"What course of action do you want to take?"

"I want you to contact the Japanese police and ask for their help."

"Yes, of course."

…

Light nervously approached the offices, desperately hoping L would be there. He practically sprinted to the crouching panda upon spotting him.

"Hey, Ryuuza-"

"I don't need it!" L hissed into his phone. There was a response on the other end, and then L rolled his eyes and hung up. L sat there a moment, an unreadable expression on his porcelain facade.

Light stood a couple feet behind him, unsure whether or not to approach L. The way his shoulders looked when he curled up like that- Light just wanted to just run his hands across them, feel the broad surface with his own flesh. Before he knew it, he was moving towards those shoulders; addressing them.

"Ryuuzaki, who was that?"

L instantly brightened when he saw Light, who took the seat next to him. A quirky smile spread across his colorless lips.

"How are you?"

Light nervously rubbed at his thigh. "I'm good," he smiled. "but you didn't answer me. Was that Watari? Why isn't he here?"

"Oh? He dropped me off. I've been here a while, I don't know what's taking so long."

"What were you talking about? You didn't seem very happy."

"This morning I found a pill hidden in my cinnamon roll. He's been secretly giving me antidepressants."

"He probably just had your best interest in mind. But why would he give you antidepressants for Aspergers?"

"They have come to the conclusion that my difficulty with social situations is partially influenced by depression."

Light stared at him. "Are you depressed?"

L smiled. "Depression is inevitable with a past like mine. But I know I'm not depressed now." To Light's surprise, L leaned forward and planted a quick smooch on his lips.

"You know I just realized there's a lot I don't know about you. I know you might not be able to tell me everything, but even so..."

"I can tell you that I was orphaned at a young age. Watari and I aren't biologically related, but I consider him a father."

"Do you remember your parents?"

L looked up at the ceiling like it was the answer. "Not my real father. But I remember my mother taking me to the park once."

They were quiet for a moment, neither able to conjure up any words.

Light felt a soft brush on his hand, and he watched L's hand move as quietly and skillfully as a spider until their fingers were intertwined.

"It was rude for me to hang up on Watari, wasn't it?"

"A little bit."

The two then turned their attention to a tall, thin man trying to announce something.

"Attention! All those waiting for Dr. Califono need to go home. She has been fired and will be replaced next week."

There was a sound of approval in the waiting room.

"I guess I should call him back..."

"Will you come with me into the bathroom first?"

…

Beyond Birthday, psychopathic serial killer and genius detective wannabe, sat alone in the dirty motel he was staying in for the past two days. A blanket was draped around him. He hated it; it was stupid in the way it looked like a skinned zebra. Where the hell did he even find a zebra blanket? He must have stolen it. He shivered and took another drag from his messily rolled joint. The smell of cannabis was fucking his nostrils.

The sun was staring at him; he wanted the moon. It reminded him of a certain man he had seen with L not long ago.

_He watched with a disgusted eye while those two snuggled up together. It was so easy to see him through the window, and even in the dark of night he could see their names._

_"L Lawliet," he said out loud with a flick of his tongue. "And Moon Night God."_

_Their lifespans floated above their heads, and something in Beyond Birthday wanted them to cease, to disappear before reaching zero. It was an interesting thought, that Fate could be intervened. But Beyond had never seen it happen._

_He frowned and put down the bulky binoculars he was using to spy._

"The moon waxes and wanes," he said to the air. "Moon Night God, I wonder if you do, too."

Beyond knew his name was really Light Yagami, and that he was the son of Soichiro Yagami, and where he went to school and such. But what he really wanted to know is why L seemed so fond of him.

"Moon Night God, it will be fun to watch you die."

…

L was very confused when Light asked him to follow him. Perhaps boyfriends went everywhere together. Did they use the bathroom together? That was silly! But then again, L didn't know a lot about dating, so it could be true. L certainly did not want to give up his privacy, but he also didn't want to offend Light. He remembered something about relationships taking sacrifice and decided he would give up anything to be with Light. Except for sweets, of course.

To his horror, Light was guiding him into the bathroom stall.

"Light, can I at least turn around while you do this?"

"What?"

"I know we're supposed to be together, but privacy is something I'm sure we both treasure-"

Before he would finish, Light smashed his lips into L's mouth, and then things started making sense. There was no weird bathroom ritual, Light just wanted to be hidden while they shared an intimate moment.

L gasped when Light's tongue entered his mouth and started moving against his own. In return, he started licking Light back.

The brunette moaned when L sucked slightly on his tongue, so he did it again. Light pressed him against the wall of the stall and pulled their bodies closer. Big hands traveled down L's shirt and wrapped around his waist. Soon fingers were touching the pale skin underneath. Everywhere Light touched made L feel like he was on fire.

Their pelvises were making contact. Somehow kissing Light this way made him want to wrap his legs around something, so he lifted one up and around Light's waist. This movement made him lose him balance, but Light saved him but pinned him tighter against the wall.

L didn't understand what was happening. He was only moving his mouth but the rest of his body was writhing under Light. He realized with a deep sense of embarrassment that he was becoming aroused. He quickly looked down to see a tent forming in his much too loose jeans.

He tried to move his hips away from Light so he wouldn't find out, but the friction against his body felt so good. He wanted to be enclosed entirely by Light's body forever. The feeling of Light was perfect in every way and L didn't want it to end. But at the same time he felt a pressure building up in his groin. He inwardly winced as a bead of precome burst in his boxers.

Between kisses L gasped and let out tiny mewls. Light was breathing hard, but L was breathing harder. L's erection was grinding into Light, there was no way he wouldn't notice. L didn't care anymore. He was melting. The slick wetness of Light's tongue against his own was turning him on even more.

L couldn't warn Light before breaking the kiss and clinging to his body like never before. He couldn't talk, he couldn't breathe. His muscles spasmed and he tightened his leg around Light. L felt himself spill his hot seed, soaking the front of his pants.

"Light!" He managed to sputter before collapsing against him.

He leaned against him in a heap of post-orgasmic jelly.

"I didn't think you come from this," Light laughed. He planted little kisses across his L's jawline. "Let me help you clean up."

"I'm sorry..." L's heart was pounding and he wasn't sure if it was embarrassment or his orgasm.

Light nearly screamed when he opened the stall to find himself face-to-face with none other than Touta Matsuda.

"What were you doing in the same stall? There's only one toilet, sillies! And look, you wet yourself!" He pointed at L's crotch and giggled.

Light wet a paper towel and dabbed at the stain. "I don't know how to make this go away. Will your shirt go over it?"

"What am I supposed to tell Watari when he sees me?"

"He doesn't have to see if you wash it yourself. Or you can say you spilled something."

"I can't do laundry so I'll say I spilled ice cream or something."

"I can't do my laundry either!" More giggling.

"Get the hell out Matsuda!" Light yelled. Matsuda was an ex-cop who worked for Light's dad, and sometimes Soichiro visited him to see how he's doing. If Matsuda told him about what he saw he would be forced to come out.

"No!" He screamed. "Why are you being mean?"

"Matsuda, if my dad visits you don't tell him what you saw here. It's a secret."

"A secret! Don't worry, Light, I won't tell anyone. Not even the gnomes that make my coffee!"

Light laughed nervously. "Okay, Ryuuzaki and I are going to leave now."

"Who's Ryuuzaki?"

"Alright, bye." Light and L left quickly. When they were outside, Light explained that sometimes his father checked up on Matsuda since he was shot and hasn't been the same since.

"That explains a lot."

Back at the hotel, L had finished apologizing for his attitude and, of course, Watari forgave him.

Later in the evening when L was devouring a whole cheesecake, Watari announced that he was going to take L's laundry to be washed.

"Ryuuzaki?" Wammy called out to him. L began to panic. "You need to be more careful when you eat. You spilled something all over your lap today, didn't you? It stained the front of your jeans. I don't think I can get it out."

"I'm sorry, Watari. I guess I'm just a messy eater."

"Another thing, I talked to the head of the NPA and they have accepted your request. You will explain everything to them tomorrow."


	18. Tranquility, Wisdom, and Love

The previous doctor had been fired after it was decided that she wasn't capable of advising people anymore.

Although L definitely didn't want her back at work, the circumstances of her losing her job seemed quite strange. She remained no different in her 20th year of her job than her first day, which was almost disappointing. But in all those years she had the same, friendly boss who always congratulated on even the most minor accomplishments. The fact that she was just fired one day was too strange.

From what L had gathered, her son recently died and she had an emotion breakdown, thus making her not fit to be a therapist. L recalled something related to her breakdown on the news.

_Police are on the lookout for an armed man who was seen hijacking a car and murdering the man inside it._

The man was her son, and the armed man was yet to be identified. But as L reviewed the blurry, black and white video he was easily able to figure out who it was. Black hair, a pronounced slouch, an outfit far too similar to L's. There was no doubt about it. The man was Beyond Birthday.

By killing the son of L's therapist, this was Beyond's way of telling him that he knew about L's weekly sessions with the incompetent doctor. If he knew that much, he had probably figured out that he was at least connected to Light Yagami in some way.

…

Light was now back in the quiet serenity of his room. It was a wasted trip, to gather up so much courage only to find out you have to go home. At least he would get a decent therapist.

He promised that he would call his dad sometime today. Instead he stared at the phone, praying it would ring. He wasn't ready to come out.

He felt as if his relationship with L was just a bad, spontaneous decision. Everything told him that at this state he shouldn't be in a relationship, or exploring a new facet of his sexuality. He was broken in a sense, and needed to get fixed first.

But then again, L was helping him a lot.

What was he supposed to say to his father when he finally picked up the phone? He was curious about Light's new friend and it would look suspicious if he didn't say anything. He could introduce them, but he didn't want his dad to know about them yet. His relationship with L was the most irresponsible thing he's ever allowed to happen, but within all the uncertainty of the past year, since when his panic disorder begun, he was certain about one thing. He loved that sloppy, strange, brilliant, and _gorgeous_ poor excuse for a human being. He was a mirror of himself while having what he lacked and vise versa. Logically, they were perfect for each other.

So Light decided he would introduce L to his father, but still he wasn't ready to come out.

The pale sun pierced through the blinds and reminded him he had a full day ahead.

…

Matt woke up to the not so unusual sound of a loud thump resonating through the thin walls of the apartment. Mello was having a fit, and Matt didn't feel like getting out of bed to deal with _that_.

"Matt!"

Damn.

He briefly considered just lying there but that option was demolished when surprisingly strong hand took hold of his feet and yanked him out of the bed.

"What the hell?" Matt saw that Mello was fully dressed and even had his shoes on.

"We're going to be late!"

"...To what?"

Mello scoffed and put his hands on slender hips. "To therapy, dumbass."

"I thought we gave up on that," Matt said through a yawn.

Mello came closer so their faces were nearly touching. "If it's what you want, Matt, I'll be willing to give it to you."

"Uh..." Matt sputtered.

_Oh, great,_Matt thought,_he's turning therapy into some freak form of foreplay._

"Let's go." He said forcefully and away they went.

…

"So... this guy, L, wants our help?" Aizawa asked the incognito figure before him.

"Yes." It was Wammy's voice, but unrecognizable as Watari.

Soichiro fingered through the files in his lap, which contained information about Sora Sato and Taichi Takahashi. "We're willing to help anyway we can." He caught reluctant glances from Mogi and Ide. "This is L, after all."

Watari nodded and proceeded to connect L to the laptop he would be communicating through.

Soichiro, Mogi, Aizawa, Ide, and Ukita waited silently, keeping their distance.

When Watari finished and the large L appeared he said, "Gentlemen, L will speak now."

L's electronic voice caught the men by surprise. "Japanese Task Force, does this mean you are accepting my request?"

No formal greeting. At first the men were taken aback but it was Soichiro who spoke. "Yes, L, we are willing to help. But please understand we have our limits. We won't be using some of your more daring methods to catching criminals."

"Yes, of course."

"What do you need our help for?" Aizawa butted in, "There hasn't been any major cases in Japan recently."

"The case I'm working on now doesn't involve millions of dollars or lives, but it is still extremely important. This case jeopardizes my own safety."

Although it angered Aizawa that L got this special treatment, he just kept his mouth shut.

"Watari, please inspect the men here for any communication devices-"

"What?"

"You think we're leaking information or something?"

L sighed. "This case involves a man who kills people who are very close to my physical appearance. I want to keep this information classified."

Both Ide and Aizawa started to say something when Soichiro interrupted them. "He's right. It's better to just cooperate than to argue something so trivial. I'm sure you can handle being searched for bugs. If you are the men I think you are, you have nothing to worry about."

"Thank you, Mr. Yagami."

Watari went through with the inspection, finding nothing of course. He finished by making the men turn off their cell phones and place them on a coffee table nearby.

"L, the search is complete. I didn't find anything suspicious."

"Very well. Mr. Yagami, did you notice anything about the files Watari gave you?"

"Yes, I did. Both are men in their early 20's with first and last names that start with the same letter. Also, they're both 5'8", weigh 110 pounds and have black hair."

"That is correct. All these physical attributes match mine, even down to the height and weight."

The Task Force gasped in union. "So you think it's a serial killer going after you?" Ukita asked.

"Yes, I do. I even have a suspect whom I am 97.4% sure is the killer."

"97.4? If you're so sure, then why do you need our help?" said Ukita.

"I need you to find and protect anyone fitting the category of the victims. My theory is that if we can make the killer pursue me instead of killing others before me we can prevent many deaths and arrest him as soon as possible."

"How do we do that?" Mogi finally spoke.

"If he goes after someone the police aren't looking after, we won't get anywhere. And if the police are protecting the people he wants to kill, he will move on to me. When he does go after me, which I'm sure he will, we can arrest him then."

"So you want us to take people who match the victims into protective custody?" Soichiro asked. "If that's the case, I'm sure we can handle it."

"That is exactly what I want you to do. Thank you for your cooperation." With that, the portentous letter disappeared.

…

"So you've come back, mm?" Takemoto's beady eyes glared at Mello.

"I'm doing it just for Matty," Mello said as he playfully rubbed at Matt's thigh. "Not for you."

"Well, as long as you're here."

Mello curled up into Matt, who remained neutral while Mello's leather-clad legs kept sliding out of place.

Takemoto continued. "Besides this," he waved his hand towards the one-sided cuddling, "have there been any other developments in your relationship?"

"Nope." Matt said simply.

"Alright. Just like last time, I want to talk to Mellow Yellow first. And try not to storm out before I get to talk to Matty."

Mello ignored his new nickname and threw a sexy smirk at Matt as he got up to leave. When the door closed with a quiet click, the doctor spoke.

"I'm sure you can imagine my confusion." He made a face, like an exaggerated frown. "Explain yourself."

"If Matt really wants to do this, I might as well have fun with it." Mello said with an icy glare.

"That's not what I think." He paused. "Do you want to know what I think?"

"Okay. Lemme hear it."

"I think Matt finally taking control and getting help is the real problem. Matt took charge, so you see yourself as less dominate because of that." He looked away, thinking. "And you want to take back control by acting as if you _want_ to go and using your sex appeal to take away from the seriousness of the situation. I am right, yes?"

Mello stared, dumbfounded, with full lips parted in a seemingly permanent gasp.

"I didn't think it out like that. Don't me sound like some manipulative asshole." _Like Near_, he thought.

"I know you didn't think it out. It was a subconscious decision that happened naturally because of your personality."

"You want me to change my personality, now?" Mello learned forward with a clenched jaw. "Hell no."

"When did I say tha- did I say that? No, I just want you to just be more conscious of what you're doing."

"Okay. I'll do that. Anything else?"

"You're in a hurry to leave."

"I am. Are we done?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sure."

With that, Mello left the room. He stormed down the stairs into the waiting room, his anger growing. The doctor figured him out in one go. Was he really that transparent?

_No, he's wrong. I don't just do things without thinking about it. I wasn't the second best at Wammy's for subconscious actions._

Mello scanned the room for Matt and found him sitting down, talking to two guys Mello couldn't recognize. He was practically seething with anger at this point and stomped up to Matt to confront him.

"I was gone for what, ten minutes? And I find you flirting with some random-" Mello examined the men. "L?"

"Hello Mello. How are you?"

Mello stuttered, trying to conjure up a non-pathetic explanation.

"This is L's boyfriend, Lighto!" Matt cracked a cheesy smile while "Lighto" just glared at him.

"Boyfriend?"

"Light Yagami," He stood up to bow in typical Japanese fashion.

"I'm Mello," he said bluntly.

They heard a man call for Ryuga and L announced that he had to leave, he gave a quick kiss to an embarrassed Light and disappeared upstairs. That was also when Matt left to have his own session. That left Mello and Light alone, and thus followed a very awkward silence between them.

"Who are you and how do you know Ryuuzaki." Light said sternly.

Mello took the seat next to him. "I'm one of L's successors." He smirked. "But I want to know more about you. How did you manage to turn the most asexual person on the planet gay?"

"It's not a question of sexuality. We met and we fell in love." Light felt very, very stupid saying this but it was what basically happened.

"So neither of you were gay to begin with?"

"No." Light looked away nervously. "Does it matter?"

"How do you know you're _really_ into men? Have you ever, you know, experimented?"

Light gave an incredulous stare, as if to say, _did you really just ask the son of the chief of the NPA that?_"No. I never have. To be honest, I don't think I would date men other than Ryuuzaki."

Mello's face went stone-cold. "I don't want some random guy dating my role model. How can you be devoted to this relationship if you're uncertain of your sexuality?" Mello's face lit up like a switch was turned on. "You know what, we should go clubbing together!"

"What? No!" Light's jaw dropped.

"Why not? You can get yourself figured out _and_ make a new friend." Mello shot Light a charismatic smile. "Come on..."

"I would only do something like that if L approved of it. And it just sounds like a disaster."

Mello beamed with hope. "So... If I can get 'Ryuuzaki' to let you go, you'll come with me?"

"Fine." Light said with a frown. "But good luck with that."

…

L moved silently through the all-too-quiet halls of the second floor. The man in front of him, a Japanese elder with white hair and over-sized glasses, used his short legs to lead the way. He was at least a good 3 inches shorter than L, which would make him around 5'5". He walked with a sort of sureness that Shannon lacked. He was obviously old, looking around 70 or so, but he was also very healthy-looking.

His office was very cozy and calming. Although it was the same size as Shannon's and built the same way- save for the big window that looked out to the gardens surrounding the building- it was decorated with a traditional Japanese feel to it. A miniature bamboo plant was on the windowsill next to a small, bubbling electric fountain. A kanji scroll with three characters hung on the wall. L read them as tranquility, wisdom, and love.

The man took a seat at the wooden chair behind the desk and motioned L to sit on a similar chair across from him. L moved without sound and sat in his usual way. On the man's desk was a plaque that said, _Taro Matsudaira, neuropsychiatrist._L was relieved to have someone with a better medical knowledge, someone who wasn't going to diagnose him and throw pills at him without a second thought.

Now that they were across from each other, L could get a better look at his face. While his thin hair and trimmed beard were pure white, his eyebrows were dark and bushy. His face was very kind, and something about him made L feel obligated to be polite. He reminded him a lot of Watari.

Matsudaira spoke, "Why are you here, Ryuga?" He spoke with a soft, yet deep, voice thick with a Japanese accent.

It was a simple enough question, and L knew the answer. Watari was worried about his mental state and wanted his almost-son to live a more social life. he tried to figure out how to word that so the doctor wouldn't know who he really was.

"My grandfather is worried about me, and wants me to be able to thrive in social situations." L felt awkward as Matsudaira gave him a weird look.

"Why do you sit like that?"

"It helps me think."

"You seem like a smart young man." A lazy smile crept along his face. "It's a shame. The bright ones never have any friends." He scoffed, and after some time asked, "Do you think that intelligent people are more deserving of the joys of friendship?"

"Intelligent people are always more deserving. They contribute more to society."

"That could be true," he smiled, "but that's not the way things are." L looked down, a solemn form of agreement. "Ryuga, do you look down on average people?"

"I shouldn't," L said after thinking a bit, "but I can't help it."

"Everyone has flaws." He said bluntly.

"That's a rather hypocritical statement. Isn't it your job to fix people's flaws?"

"You can never truly fix someone's flaw. What I do is make people more aware of them so they can have a better understanding of the way their mind works. Once they do this, they can make decisions that lead to a better life. To do this, you need tranquility, wisdom, and love."

Those are the words the kanji said. L had a feeling he would be hearing them a lot.

"Tranquility is a state of calmness. If you can achieve this, you will have more control over yourself." He was starting to sound like an ancient sensei rather than a psychiatrist. "Wisdom is the combination knowledge of what is right and a sense of justice." L could have rolled his eyes. "And love is the most important. Without love, we are empty shells with a great void in our heart ready to be filled with hate, and no one wants that." he rushed through the last sentence. "I'm sorry, but with the schedules still being figured out we don't have as much time today."

They said their goodbyes, and L crept back down those stairs.

Tranquility, Wisdom, and Love. They sounded like words you'd find on a Chinese bookmark at Border's. But the more L thought about it, the more he realized just how vital each was.

L could be the smartest man on earth and complete self-control, but without love he could become what Matsudaira spoke of. An empty shell being filled with hate as time went on.

When he got downstairs, he kissed Light softly and sweetly while Mello went on about exploring homosexuality and taking Light clubbing to improve their relationship. L agreed to whatever Mello said, because in that moment it _seemed_ like a good idea.

A/N: Another guessing game! Who can figure out who L's new therapist is modeled after?

I know I've been slow updating, but now that semester exams have passed and I have more time on my hands, they should be more frequent. Here are some things you can look forward to in later chapters:

- L plays the piano for Light

- Light pisses himself in public

- Hard Gay has a cameo

- Light and L spend an entire day naked

- Misa returns

- Matt plays DDR

- L gets drunk. REALLY drunk

- More about Matsuda is revealed

- Beyond Birthday is the cockroach king

- Mikami returns

I'm grateful to everybody who's kept up this far. Please read+review :)


	19. Experimentation

A/N: No one guessed correctly :( The answer was Hayao Miyazaki.

…

"What have I gotten myself into?" Light asked his glaringly unhappy reflection. He wasn't wearing anything special, just what he would usually where to a social gathering.

But this social gathering was unlike any he had attended before. He was not a club-goer, in fact the idea of a dancing, sweating crowd was rather revolting, and he didn't like the idea of drinking. Not to mention he was going to a gay club with a strange man he hardly knew.

He told himself that this was for L and decided to ignore any thoughts that told him otherwise. There was no way to get out of this (he was terrified of what Mello might do), so it was best to just not think about too much and get through it with his dignity intact.

These thoughts were the only thing that got him out the door and into Mello's car. They carried his spiritless body to the front door of the club. It was brightly lit by obnoxious neon lights, and upbeat music was pulsing in his ears, his chest, his head.

This was a different kind of nervousness, a kind of detachment from the unappreciated reality. His body seemed to float while Mello pushed him through a man-crowd until they found the bar.

"You need to loosen up!" Mello shouts, but his words are masked by the music.

Light responded with a knee-jerk "What?" even though he was able to understand what Mello said. Shots are quick and easy, so Mello orders up a few. He laughs when Light gags and coughs hoarsely after downing the first drink.

One. Two. Three.

"There you go!" Mello exclaimed as he pulled Light into the mass of moving bodies at the center of the room. Light just stood there awkwardly while Mello dry-humped another leather-clad man in tune to the music. The same man approached Light.

"Hey, cutie." He swiveled his hips at him. "Wanna dance?"

"Not really."

"Rejection! Hooo~" The man danced around, smiling. He continued to thrust his hips towards Light in a nonverbal dance-invite. Mello joined in, and thus there was a drunken, half-hilarious half-sexy exchange of moves between the two.

Light wanted to go home. He felt dizzy and weird, and kind of wanted to just run around. He felt kind of an obligation to dance, too, so he tried to mimic what Mello did. It turned into an awkward ordeal with the constant bumping into other people and the fact that Light wasn't really sure what to do.

He started laughing when he _really_ looked at the way Mello and the man were dancing. It started as a chuckle, and slowing turned to an airless, hysterical giggle.

"What's so funny?"

"You guys look like idiots!" Light pointed and laughed dryly.

"Are you going to dance or not?"

Light didn't respond. He was too busy laughing while being pushed almost rhythmically by the crowd. He hiccupped and covered his mouth as nausea overcame him.

He stumbled to the bar and slurred a request for a glass of water. For some reason he thought it'd be a good idea to bring the glass onto the dance floor and back to his corner with Mello and his friend. This, not surprisingly led to Light spilling the contents onto a thin man with dark hair, soaking his white tee-shirt.

And that man was none too pleased.

"What the fuck? Fucking asshole can't watch where he's going and _I'm_ the one he runs into? Fucking hell. I swear, some people are so damn STUPID!"

Light stared at the man, dumbfounded and confused.

"Ryuuzaki?"

He whispered the words, knowing in his heart aside from his drunken mind that this wasn't really him. He had _seen_ this man before, he knew from the frightening sense of déjà vu. And at that moment, he felt vulnerable. His mind wasn't working right; he couldn't process what was going on. The man was frightening. He looked at Light with dark, penetrating eyes and a murderous visage.

The man smiled, a wicked and sinister deformity. "Moon Night God."

Light _ran_.

Several men glared at him as he pushed and shoved his way to Mello. He was aware that the man was following him, so he moved faster.

Once he found Mello, he leaped at him and clutched at his shoulders while he tried to remember how to speak. "Me- Mello..." he panted.

"I think he needs to get out of here." Mello's friend whispered in his ear. "Don't worry, I can drive."

Light stumbled as Mello dragged him outside. The car he was led to was small and blue, different from the one they drove there. He started to hyperventilate, something he hadn't done in a while. He was absolutely terrified.

Mello opened the passenger door and said, "Get in." But the car didn't have doors for the back seats, so Light just stared at him for a second, anxiously wondering what to do next.

"For fuck's sake." Mello pressed something, and the seat moved forward, allowing Light access to the back

Mello's friend, professionally known as Hard Gay, was driving Mello and Light to his apartment. Despite apparently being sober, he was speeding down the surprisingly empty streets. He smirked to himself. _I've got the cutie now._

The aforementioned blond was slumped over in the passenger's seat, mouth wide open as he slept.

Light was quiet. He sat in the very middle of the back seat, his seatbelt secured tightly around his waist. He looked out the window, silently eying bright lights and passing pedestrians. The night was cold, and for the first time he felt a deep longing for Ryuuzaki's warm embrace. He wanted to be alone with him, away from gay drunks and homicidal stalkers. The car turned sharply at the stoplight and Light was tossed sideways. The streetlights were sparse on this street, and he decided liked the darkness. It gave him that much needed solitude.

He tried to take deep breaths. He was safe, for now.

"We're here! Hooo~" Hard Gay flashed a bright smile.

…

"I'm going to read you to traits belonging to Cluster A, B, and C personalities. I want you to tell me which one describes you the best."

L listened with interest, intrigued by Matsudaira's method.

"Cluster A: Odd or Eccentric behaviors. This includes paranoid and schizoid personalities. They often are extremely distrustful of others, emotionally cold and socially inverted. Paranoid people will sometimes base their suspicions on little or no evidence, leading to rejection from others. People with schizoid personality often use fantasizing as a coping mechanism." He looked at L to note his attention.

L wanted to comment, but he continued.

"Cluster B: Dramatic or Erratic behaviors. These are hystronic, narcissistic, antisocial, and borderline personalities. Cluster B includes hysterical expression of emotions, narcissism, disregard for the feelings of others, or an unstable mind. People with a hystronic personality try to evoke sympathy and attention, while Narcissists believe they are superior and feel that they should automatically get affection." Matsudaira frowned as he read.

"Cluster C: Anxious or Inhibited behaviors. This has avoidant and dependent personalities, as well as OCD. Avoidants have a strong desire for acceptance, and Dependents routinely surrender decisions to others and lack self-confidence." He tossed the reading material onto his desk. "So, which one do you think you fit into?"

L brought his thumb to his lips. "It's hard to say. I can find traits that apply to myself in each cluster." He paused. "But if I had to choose, I would say Cluster A fits me the best."

Matsudaira nodded. "Yes, well, I can see that just by looking at you." He cracked a smile.

L politely smiled back. It seemed that the mere presence of a man like Matsudaira was making him more shy than usual.

"I am going to ask you a series of questions, and I want you to answer truthfully. Understand that lying will get you nowhere." He cast L a look, the wrinkles on his face ever-changing with his expressions.

"Very well. Go ahead."

"Are you depressed?"

L had been asked this question before many times by Watari, Shannon, and doctors and he always responded with a reassuring "no."

"I think I've always been depressed. But it's getting better now. I have been able to start a romantic relationship."

"Do you get depressed easily?"

"Yes. When I get reminded of... unfortunate events, I slip into depression, and I will take me a while to get over it again."

"Sounds like you've had a hard past. But on to the next question. I understand you have a very tedious job. Do you ever feel like you don't get the appreciation you deserve?"

L was surprised by the seemingly random question. "Why do you ask?"

"Tell me Ryuga, do you have a strong sense of justice?"

"Yes, I do."

"You didn't do anything to deserve your past. Now you work very hard, but it doesn't seem like karma is working in your favor."

"I've... realized this," L said quietly. "It isn't fair." L felt his throat tighten.

Matsudaira sighed. "That's all the time we have today. I'm going to review your medical history and prescribe you an antidepressant."

L nodded and left without saying a word.

…

"You don't drink alcohol very often, do you?" Hard Gay asked while Light gagged and retched over the toilet.

Mello was fast asleep in the other room, as if he hadn't slept in days.

"I need to lie down," he slurred, and Hard Gay guided him to his bedroom, as the couch was taken by Mello.

"You just make yourself comfortable."

Light couldn't see much in the darkness, and he was afraid of what he might find if he turned the lights on. He plopped down onto the bed with the intention of going right to sleep.

Hard Gay had other ideas.

He curled up next to a partially unconscious Light.

"What do you want?" Light mumbled.

"You." He dragged his fingers along Light's thigh. "You're so sexy." Light heard him wet his lips.

"I have a boyfriend."

"He's not here right now."

Light was disgusted with the thought of betraying L for this man.

"You know what?" Light sat up and pushed hard Gay away. "I'm _not_ that kind of person. I love my boyfriend and I would never cheat on him."

"Is that so? Then why were you in a gay club?"

Light stammered.

"Speechless! Hooo~"

"Stop it. You obviously don't know about the situation I was in."

"You can't blame this on Mello, two-timer."

Light narrowed his eyes in anger. "It's not like I was out there grinding on people and making out with strangers. In fact, I hardly did anything at that club."

"Boring." Hard Gay pouted and rolled over. "Hooo..."

Light glared at him and lied back down. Just then he felt his phone vibrate. It was a text from Ryuuzaki:

_I really need you right now._

A/N: If you don't know who Hard Gay is, he is a Japanese comedian who is supposed to mimic the American stereotype of gay men. You can find his skits on youtube. :3

I have a riddle for you guys. When you have me, you feel like sharing me. But, if you do share me, you don't have me. What am I?


	20. Love

Who's heard the song "Dear You" from the anime Higurashi no Naku Kono (When They Cry)? It's absolutely breathtaking. I listened to it while I wrote the scene in the bed. :)

And just about everyone got the riddle right! The answer--- a secret

I guess that one was too easy. Here's a harder one:

Two cops walked into a room with no windows and found a dead man who obviously hung himself from the ceiling, though they couldn't figure out how. There was no chair beneath him that he might have jumped off of, or a table. Just a puddle of water. How'd he do it?

…

He was only dimly aware that leaving Hard Gay's apartment in the middle of the night, drunk, tired and ignorant of his location, was a terrible idea.

But he couldn't _think_.

After getting Ryuuzaki's message, he felt an odd feeling of... wanting to prove himself. He wanted to prove to Ryuuzaki, and to his family, that he wasn't hopeless. That he was still the perfect son that he was before his anxiety. Logic be damned, and he moved on a whim, for once.

Light knew that if he could at least find a train station, then he could make his way to Ryuuzaki's hotel. He wanted to get there as fast as possible. Just imagining Ryuuzaki's face when he saw him, only sending the message a few minutes ago, sent flutters through his chest. Ryuuzaki said he needed him, and Light wanted to fulfill his wishes.

The train station wasn't empty, but it wasn't crowded either. It was mostly filled with young adults, dressed obnoxiously and waiting for the next train to Shibuya. He was lucky; it would only take one train to get him close to L's hotel.

…

L lazily eased himself from side to side in his swivel chair, his head hanging heavily off his head, as if his skinny neck could no longer support his giant brain. He fingered a miniature Reese's, contemplating whether or not to eat it. He loved Reese's, but they were cold chocolate, and he wanted something warm and comforting. Something delicious like rich European hot chocolate and warm scones to dip in it.

It had been almost 10 minutes since L sent the text to Light. It made him look painfully weak, but it was true. L was feeling sad ever since his session with Matsudaira, and he just figured out why.

L had always seen himself as an emotionally strong man, able to make it through any hardships thrown at him. He prided himself in that. But now, it seemed as if he was losing this ability. He was so emotional, giving in to his feelings and acting on them instead of thinking things through first. L decided that he was just getting caught up in the changes in his life, and just needed to talk to someone about it. He was worried, and wanted to be comforted.

He told Watari to get some sleep, so bothering him now would be rude. Even if he did wake up, the most he would get was a hug and a reassuring "don't worry" and "everything will be okay."

Light was his boyfriend, dammit! And as his lover, it was his obligation to attend to these matters. Light should have accepted that when he first kissed him, right? So asking him to come over now wouldn't be a problem.

But it would. Despite common interpretations of his behavior, he was aware that some of his expectations for others were a bit... irrational. And he needed to understand as well that he was _Light's_ boyfriend, so he should take it upon himself to commit to the same obligations he expected from Light.

L sighed. He knew he was thinking too much about it. After some deliberation, he decided simply saying that he needed Light, and not requesting him to come to him, was the most reasonable choice.

But still, his heart lingered with the hope that he would burst through the doors at any moment. He imagined Light receiving the message and abandoning whatever he was doing as the moment and taking to the streets, heading for the nearest train station and hopping on the bullet train.

Ah, such a romantic fantasy. L smiled to himself at the foolishness of his thoughts.

He heard a bang.

Did someone just come through the door?

L's first instinct was to run to Watari, who probably had a shotgun or something under his bed. He leaped out of his chair and tried to run to Watari's room, but he tripped over a stack of books he accumulated during his stay in Japan.

"Gah!" He cried as he tumbled forward. L felt his attacker trying to grab him. "No!" He kicked at the air, and they would have been powerful blows if he wasn't thrashing blindly with his feet. His eyes were shut tight in terror.

_Is this how I am to meet my end?_

He continued to put up a fight and eventually landed a kick to the assailant's stomach, tossing him backward. L made an effort to get to Watari's room, on the other side of the suite. His attempts were halted when the intruder grabbed both his ankles, almost sending him to the floor. He cried out in a desperate plea to save himself.

"Ryuuzaki!" He recognized that voice.

"L-Light?" The hands around his ankles relaxed. "Light!" L looked down to see his lover stretched across the floor, a look of pain on his face, and immediately dropped to his knees to help him. "Are you okay?" L brought his thumb to his lips as he timidly examined Light.

Light groaned. "That hurt, you know. I didn't expect such a small person to hit so hard."

"Looks can be deceiving," L quoted, and Light allowed himself to smile. "And I am not small."

L quickly attended to picking up the mess they made and making sure the front door was closed. Light was lazily slumped on the couch; he was very tired and still slightly drunk.

As he watched L move around the room, gracefully as if he had no weight, he had a realization.

_Do I really love L? Or am I just attached to him because being with him helps my anxiety?_

Light shuddered at the sentiment. Had his independence and self-efficiency gone so far down the drain that he was clinging to anything that made him feel good and calling it "love?"

L finished cleaning up and moved to sit by Light, keeping his usual posture.

"Why are you here?" L asked softly. Inside, he was filled with happiness and the tender feeling of admiration from the romantic scenario. He touched Light's face with delicate finger tips.

"Because you said you needed me." Light stared back coldly at L as he continued to lovingly stroke his hair and face, L's intense gaze on him at all times.

L shook his head, and his wild hair swayed with him.

"I'm sorry. I was too emotional. I didn't think you would actually come," L eyes smiled, almost mockingly. "But I'm fine now."

"Really?" Light asked, trying to hide his conflictive thoughts. "Is it b'cause I'm here now?" Light inwardly winced at his slurred speech.

"Partially."

"So there's more to it?"

L nodded. "You should know that I am more complex than the average person. To me, there is always more to everything."

"Is that what made you a good detect-it-tive?" _Dammit! Learn to talk!_

L stopped his caresses and looked away from Light. "Well, yes. If I was content with first impressions I would have died a long time ago."

Light stared, wide-eyed and shocked. "What do you mean by _that_?" He made sure to firmly enunciate this time, hoping it wasn't too noticeable.

L's features, especially his eyes, were washed over with sadness. "Without my deductive abilities, I would never have made it off the streets after my mother died. I was taken into an orphanage after I solved the Winchester Mad Bombings case. Before that, no one even knew I existed."

"How old were you?"

"Six."

Light's lips parted in a silent gasp. _Amazing,_ he thought.

"I... don't know what to say. I'm sorry you were orphaned so young."

L looked sad, almost as if he was going to start crying. But instead, he smiled and said, "Don' worry about me." He looked into Light's eyes again. "Do you still want to know why I feel better?"

"Uh...Yeah." Light was taken aback at the sudden shift in conversation.

"Then come with me to where it's more comfortable" Light nodded and L hopped off the couch to lead them into a rarely used bedroom.

Through his almost-sober haze, Light continued to watch L. This time, he _really_ watched him. He noted how skinny and frail he was in appearance, but he seemed so strong on the inside. L's arrogant and cold demeanor would have intimidated someone like... someone like Matsuda, but not Light. Light didn't see him that way, he never had. He saw L as a hurt, emotional person wearing the mask of strength.

And he wore it well. He wore it so well it had become a part of him and was no longer a mask.

His suspicions about L were confirmed when, surprisingly, L had _opened_ up to him. Light had been lucky enough to witness the amazing detective L with real emotions. But Light knew after all that, L was still strong. L could cry and throw fits and be absolutely hysterical, but to Light, he was still so, so _strong_.

_That must be what appealed to me._

Light could only wish that he could be like L. Because what he was going through with his anxiety was nothing compared to the apparent pain L had suffered through.

When they reached the bed, L crawled under the blanket like a little kid and started slithering around like a snake. Light chuckled at the detective's antics. It seemed he was trying to find a comfortable position in the unfamiliar piece of furniture. L finally settled somewhat close to how a regular person would sleep, but he was curled up into a tightly wound ball.

After this ridiculous display, Light realized, once and for all, that he truly _loved_ L. It wasn't just because of how L made him feel better anxiety-wise; it was because of everything else about L. His strange habits, his remarkable intelligence, his sweet-tooth, his bizarrely beautiful appearance, his strength. Light loved each aspect of L, regardless of his gender.

Light settled on the bed behind L and cradled him in his arms.

"So," Light eased closer to him. "What is it you wanted to say?"

"I was having a small identity crisis."

"...You were?" Light was half-asleep at this point. He was exhausted from his little adventure that night, but he still made an effort to listen to what L was saying.

"Yes. I have always been able to make it through tragedies without succumbing to weakness, nut now it seems I'm more emotional than ever."

L paused and brought his thumb to his lips. "But I've realized something."

"Yeah? And what would that be?" Light said, his lips brushing against the back of L's neck.

"I'm not weak." L said bluntly. "I just found someone I feel comfortable enough with to share my true emotions."

"L -"

Light felt the grip on his hands tighten.

"My whole life I've been sheltering my emotions inside, because I didn't think anyone would be able to understand them the way I do- my emotions, that is." He paused, and with a sharp inhale he continued. "But I feel different with you. I know we haven't know each other long, and we haven't been able to completely open up to each other."

L could feel his voice wavering as he spoke. "But for the first time I actually _want_ to share these feelings, and be a human again. And I want to share them with _you_." L paused again, and almost inaudibly, said, "I love you."

Light felt his throat tighten at hearing L's words. "Ryuuzaki," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "I... I love you, too."

L moved to kiss him, but stopped mid-way and crinkled up his nose. Light thought he looked like a rabbit.

Self-consciously, Light covered his mouth when he remembered that his breath smelled of alcohol. He mentally kicked himself for submitting to Mello and drinking against his will.

But Light decided to discard any thoughts of Mello, as he was sure Hard Gay was taking (advantage) care of him.

L chose to kiss him on the cheek instead. He cradled Light in his arms and gently kissed the top of his head. Light lied still next to him and closed his eyes, his exhaustion finally taking over.

L could pinpoint the exact moment Light went into unconsciousness if he focussed on his breathing. When Light was conscious he breathed through his nose softly and quietly, but when he slept he breathed slightly louder and through his mouth. L listened for when Light made the transition, and whispered gently, "Sweet dreams, Light-kun."

The detective smirked, knowing that there was a 97.6% possibility that he would make it into Light's dreams that night.

…

Not surprisingly, Light woke up the next morning with a headache. It wasn't as bad as he thought it would be, considering he rarely drank and had a low tolerance. A romantic thought popped into his head. _It must have been Ryuuzaki that prevented my hangover._

Light scoffed at the idea of L having magical, anti-hangover powers. Though, for some reason, it wouldn't surprise Light if he did.

What was with these weird thoughts? Maybe he needed to sleep a little longer. He turned on the bed, trying to find a comfortable position. In half a second he knew that L wasn't there anymore. He stretched his entire body in one tense movement and relaxed against the mattress, sighing. He would have liked to wake up with Ryuuzaki. He was still exhausted.

He got out of the bed, realizing that he had slept in his coat and shoes. He quickly took then off and wandered toward the growing smell of a sweet breakfast.

In the main room, L was perched on an expensive-looking chair, his fingers delicately typing at remarkable speed. He looked up when Light entered the room.

"You're awake." L smirked. "Finally."

"I had a dream about you last night. I don't remember much, though."

L could have laughed.

"What time is it?" Light mumbled.

"Almost 9:00."

"Nng." Light groaned in response and took a seat on the couch opposite Ryuuzaki.

"Would you like some breakfast?"

"Sure. Is it cold, though?"

"Actually, Watari just started cooking. It should take some time before its ready."

"Watari can cook?!"

"Watari can do anything."

Light grinned. "Then is it alright if I take a shower first?"

L sighed, almost seeming annoyed. "Do you think I would deny that request?"

"Well, no. I don't see why you would. Why do you ask, Ryuuzaki?"

"What's the point of asking if you know the answer?" L sounded nonchalant as he spoke, his thumb toying with his bottom lip.

"I don't know. I guess it's just polite."

"It's unnecessary. From now on, if you know how I'm going to answer any request, just go ahead and act accordingly. If you want to take a shower, don't ask. Just say, 'I'm going to take a shower.' And do so. I think we both know that this kind of politeness is for strangers, not lovers."

"Well, yeah. But does that mean that I have to be rude to you?"

"Not at all. I think we shouldn't have to use manners that belong to people unfamiliar with the other person, since we shouldn't be looking to impress each other anymore." L smiled. "We already have our impressions."

"Alright, then. I'm going to take a shower." And he did so.

A.N: The next chapter will focus on Mello and Matt, as well as BB.


	21. Ghost

A/N: I apologize for updating so late. I had writer's block for a while, and just couldn't think of anything to write.

The answer to the last riddle: The man stood on a block of ice, which later melted and became a puddle of water. However, I like IchibanSweetie's answer the best XD

...

Mello stumbled back into the apartment at around 10:00 am. He had almost no memory of the night before and all he knew was that Light was gone and his ass was sore.

"Matt!" He called out into the empty air, surprised at the gravely sound to his voice.

"Whaaa-" was Matt's drawn-out reply. His voice came from the living room, Mello could tell even with the sounds of a video game pulsating from the speakers.

Mello did _not_ need this right now. He had a bad hangover and the last thing he wanted to hear was another of Matt's games.

"Turn that shit down!" Mello yelled, his voice still hoarse.

He heard the volume gradually go down to a reasonable level, relieving him from his pain a little bit. He stumbled into the living room.

When Matt saw Mello he paused his game, which was an abnormal occurrence. "Whoa... what happened to you?"

"Huh?" Mello mumbled as he collapsed on the couch.

"You look awful, Mello. You drank too much, didn't you?"

"No... I just... I do this all the time."

Matt was silent for a while, his arms crossed and a serious look on his face. Mello didn't notice, though, and just lied there on the couch. His arm covered his face and he almost fell asleep when Matt spoke.

"You are such a hypocrite."

These words caught Mello's attention, and although it pained him to do so, he sat up. "_What_?"

"How can you go telling that Yagami guy that he's not a good enough boyfriend when you go out clubbing with Hard Gay and _spend the night with him_?"

"Why should I be concerned about your feelings when you're not even my boyfriend?"

Matt was on the verge of lunging across the room and punching Mello in the face, numerous times. Mello smirked at him to make his point.

Matt just stared. He was appalled that things had gone this far. "You really are delusional, aren't you?" Matt's voice was loud in the silent room. "You actually think I'm an impostor?"

"That's because you-"

"How did this happen? What happened to you, Mello?" Matt was screaming now.

"I should be the one asking that." Mello said calmly.

"Jesus Christ, just shut up! Listen to yourself! You're insane!"

"Don't talk that way to me!" Mello approached Matt, ignoring his hangover. "Who do you think you are?"

Matt scoffed. "You know what?" He went into the kitchen and turned on the gas stove, lighting a cigarette. "I don't have to put up with this anymore. I don't need you as much as you need me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mello said, waving his hand to keep smoke out of his face.

Matt took a long drag from the cigarette. "Back at Wammy's, I would have been fine without any friends, like Near or L, you know?" He hesitated, wondering if he should continue. "But you're the kind of person who needs someone to praise you, and to love you for every single thing you do."

"I don't." Mello said quietly, fingering the red rosary around his neck.

"Yeah, you do. But I guess a lot of people are like that." Matt suddenly felt bad for his words. Mello looked like a kicked kitten, and very sad.

"Matt... I'm sorry."

_What?_

"...sometimes I just don't know if you're real or fake. I _am_crazy, aren't I?"

"Yeah, a little bit." Matt joked, but Mello remained solemn.

"Are you going to leave me?"

Matt sighed. "No. I probably couldn't leave you even if I wanted to. Hey... are you okay?" Matt asked shyly.

"I feel kind of sick. Can I lie down?"

"Uh... yeah."

Mello went back to the couch and lied on it face-down. He heard Matt walk away, and then come back.

"Here." Matt draped a throw blanket across Mello. He awkwardly stroked his back, trying to comfort him.

"Can you take my boots off?" Mello mumbled.

Matt then began the process of unlacing the heavy leather boots and prying them off Mello's tired feet. His feet were blistered from walking home after Hard Gay ditched him at his apartment. He rubbed them slightly, trying to ease the obvious pain.

"You suck at foot massages."

"Fuck you."

Mello chuckled, though his body hurt as he shook, and Matt could see this.

"And you suck at drinking, you know that?"

"I'm going to sleep now. Don't turn that damn game back on, _okay_?"

"Fine."

Matt didn't argue because he knew Mello would sleep through anything after such a long night.

...

"Does L really think I'm that stupid?" Beyond spoke into the chilled night air. He watched from inside his stolen SUV as police escorted his would-be next victim out of his house and into their car. "Does he think he can stop me just by removing these people? Or does he just want to prevent the innocent from dying?"

Beyond frowned and started the engine.

Once at his secluded new house, Beyond hastily opened the door and kicked his shoes off, not paying any mind to what direction they flew in, or if they hit anything. He growled in anger as he stomped through the hall and into his bland bedroom. He closed the door behind him, and hardly a few inches from his feet sat Mr. Butler, the cockroach.

"Oh Mr. Butler," Beyond snarled, "I think you've overstayed your welcome."

Mr. Butler skittered away to hide under Beyond's bed, too quick for him to react.

"You've won this round. But you can't stay in my bedroom for as long as you please." He paused and his features softened. "And I'm sure your brothers miss you," Beyond called out in an almost affectionate manner.

Mr Butler, like all his "brothers," was a Madagascar Hissing Cockroach. While it is quite normal for someone to keep several as pets, at this point Beyond has collected well over 500 crawling minions.

He dropped his heavy bag of supplies, the thick metal blade inside making a loud _clunk_ as it hit the floor. He collapsed onto his bed and groaned

"L knows I have something planned, but he doesn't know what. And he's trying to stall it by removing... my _demographic_." He smirked. "You can't keep them safe forever. Kyahaha!" He added the false laugh for emphasis.

"B, you need to stop this," a soft voice spoke in the dark. "You need to leave L alone."

Beyond sat up and glared in the direction the voice was coming from. "It's his fault you're dead."

The voice was silent, and B shivered in the freezing room. He waited for any sign of the spirit, and then, after a while it manifested into a delicate mist. Beyond could make out A's calm face, his big brown eyes and his long dark hair.

"No... I died by my own hand, B."

"Shut the fuck up!" Beyond screamed and grabbed the nearest thing and threw it, which happened to be his alarm clock. "You wouldn't have done it if not for him!"

"Please calm down. I hate to see you like this; we used to be such good friends. What changed you?"

"Lchanged me! Now it's time for me to avenge your death and put an end to the twisted institution they call the Wammy House!"

"The Wammy House has changed since you left. You have to remember that we were the first there and that things weren't perfect yet-"

"They sure as hell weren't perfect yet! Look at us! You killed yourself, and I'm fucking mad!" He snorted.

"You need to stop blaming L. He had almost nothing to do with it. It was Wammy and Roger who were in charge."

"Maybe if he had something to do with it we wouldn't be so fucked up! We were supposed to be his successors, and he didn't even care about us!"

"It's not that he didn't care. He's L, he has more important things to do."

"How can you be so calm? He... he ruined our lives!" Beyond sputtered, bewildered at A's passivity. A could tell he was getting angry by the way his expressive face displayed various renditions of his trademark scowl.

"What do you plan to do, B?"

He smirked, and the look on his face was truly mad. "I'm going to kill L. And not just one L, 13 L's!" He laughed insanely. "13 for the letter B! Do you get it A? And I'll kill his little boyfriend, too!" He burst into hysterical laughter this time, rocking back and forth on the bed. Mr. Butler hissed and scurried out of the room.

A watched, deeply saddened at Beyond Birthday's obviously deranged state. "Boyfriend?" He asked, trying to brush off the rest as insane ranting.

Beyond had to calm down before he could answer. He was having trouble controlling himself as little giggles continued to ripple through his body.

"I've been watching him," he said finally. "He has a boyfriend now. Some young Japanese guy named Moon Night God. At least, that's what the kanji said. He's very handsome, but not as pretty as L."

"Oh..." was all A could say to that. He was surprised that L was even in a relationship, and that he was homosexual. "I'm very happy for him." He said finally.

"Why? It was supposed to be me! I loved L, and I was smart, and handsome, too. I looked just like him, how couldn't I be? I bet they had sex already; I saw them sleeping in the same bed. You know _I_ was the one that was supposed to take his virginity, not just some guy he met only two months ago!" He growled and fell backwards on the bed. "This is so frustrating!"

"You and L are not destined to be together. You need to accept that. And... please don't hurt him..." A said softly, and then drifted out of the room.

...

A waited until Beyond fell asleep before he re-entered the house. For a while, he knew that B was planning something, but now that Beyond had taken action, it was time to contact L again.

A tried to educate L about the exact matter in which he died. Yes, it was true that it was a suicide, but there was more to it than that. B helped him end his life. L needed to know that B was capable of killing someone, and that he couldn't ignore B's threats any longer.

The autopsy report would tell him that someone shot him, and that person was B. Somehow, B knew the moment A was going to die, and managed to break into the asylum and find A in time to watch him bleed to death. B couldn't have known that A was going to commit suicide, and he probably brought the gun in order to defend himself as it was during the night and the streets were dangerous.

A remembered how horrible it was when he was bleeding to death, and he was sure B could see his pain. It must have been horrifying to see your friend die, though A felt that watching B go crazy was just as scary.

B was only putting A out of his misery. He _didn't_ murder him.

Quickly, A gathered enough energy to access the website he was using to communicate with L. It would be so much easier to just manifest in front of L and speak to him that way, but he couldn't. He was bound to Beyond Birthday. He had chosen to haunt him, so if he entered the world of the living he could only stray 40 yards away from Beyond's location. It was one of the few laws the dead had to obey, or else his soul would be banished for eternity.

It took a lot of effort to harness the energy to use B's computer, and as he did so the surrounding temperature would drop dramatically. Beyond would definitely notice when he woke up, but it's not as if he could do anything to _him_.

But he _could_ delete any message A sent out, and in turn hurt L's progress on the case. A could only hope that L could access the information before it was deleted.

Another thing to consider was that L wouldn't believe that it was a spirit contacting him, so he had to make it appear as though it was Beyond. To do so, he kept the design of the website and the cryptic messages consistent with behavior that would be expected from B.

Now A just needed to find a way to tell L what B was planning in a way that was believable. L wouldn't believe that a spirit was contacting him, so he would assume that the message was from B. If he just blatantly told him the plan, L would think Beyond was tricking him.

A began to create a puzzle using a columnar transposition cipher. This way it would be possible for him to solve it in time. First he wrote out the entire message and counting how many letters it contained. He made sure that it sounded like something B would say. It came out to 104 letters. He divided that number by 8 to equal 13. After that he needed to create a keyword that was 13 letters long.

He chose "identicalness" because it referenced b's obsession with looking like L. The code he ended up with was: OLHSSRHF ISTEEYTS YUOHEXUN MDNENANA OEEILERL MLLEEEEI SAIVMMLA NDTTWEEA IEGLTCTL CIHHIVOL NSORLNIE CANTIGGN SSWOITIH.

At this point, the only thing A cold do was hope that L would get the message.

A/N: Anyone wanna try to solve A's code?


	22. Safety

A/N: Congratulations to Blanca 'the' Angel Loveless, Fused-Chappy, Morfaye, Moth Mask, and Razorblade Devotchka! These guys solved the last chapter's code :)

...

Soft rain landed on the big windows in Light's bedroom. L was laying on the clean bed, his eyes closed and his mouth open. A forgotten cup of cold, overly sweet coffee sat on the nearby nightstand. Light had been at work ironing a white dress shirt for the past 30 minutes, making sure to get every wrinkle out of it.

He looked up at Ryuuzaki's sleeping form and smiled. "Try not to drool everywhere. I just washed those pillow cases."

L lifted his head up off the pillow. "Sorry, I didn't notice..." he said hazily. He stretched and moved to lie on his back, messing up the blanket as he did so. "By the way, ironing a shirt to get it perfect like that will be pointless if you end up burning it," he pointed to another shirt on the floor, "like that one."

Light frowned. "I didn't mean to burn it. I was trying to get a wrinkle out." He looked down at the white shirt on the ironing board and muttered, "I guess this one's good enough" and reluctantly hung it up.

"A _nonexistent_ wrinkle." L said, his eyes closed.

Light grabbed a sky blue shirt from the small laundry basket and began to iron it. "Just go back to sleep." He said, smiling.

By the time Light finished, L was well-rested and wide awake.

"I'm hungry." L said as he watched the rain fall outside.

Light sighed and said, "Let me see what I have." He grabbed L's abandoned coffee cup and left for the kitchen. L watched as Light tapped the doorknob twice, something he noticed Light do to all the doors he walked through.

L pushed himself off the bed so he sat up and brought his knees to his chest. His obsidian eyes took in every detail of Light's bedroom as he tried to draw any information in it. As a personal space, this room should have told L more about Light. But everything was plain and white, meticulously clean. L couldn't imagine anyone living here. It was as if it was never touched by human hands nor the gradual wear of nature.

He hopped off the bed and made his way into the kitchen, where Light was looking through his sparse collection of food. Light stopped and smiled.

"I have vanilla ice-cream. Would you like some?" Light said while wrapping his arms around L's small waist.

L sighed, disappointed at the lacking variety of food. "I guess so." He wriggled out of Light's grip, unsure of why he was touching him in the first place.

L sat on the counter top and ate the small serving quickly.

"Ryuuzaki, I meant to tell you this before, but my parents want to meet you," Light said as he adjusted objects on his counter top until they were straight. He was particularly intent on making sure L's empty bowl of ice cream was centered.

L watched him curiously with his thumb at his lip. "Why?" He asked softly, his eyes sad.

It took Light a few seconds to answer, as he was so focused on making everything aligned, his hands fidgeting with a pile of bills now. "I haven't had any friends for a while so they were excited that I was socializing again. But they don't know we're dating..." Light's voice trailed off as his full attention was turned to the pile.

"Light," L started, but gave up when he noticed the other man wasn't paying attention.

Light looked over his small kitchen space and made a quick observation. "The refrigerator's not straight," he said and attempted to fix it.

"...Light," he tried again.

No answer.

"Stop it!" L said firmly and took of Light's wrists. Light looked surprised and confused, as if he didn't know what was wrong.

L's hands were tight and for the first time Light noticed the sadness in his eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked desperately.

"The whole time I've been here I've watched you perform your crazy rituals." L let go and took a few steps back. "You're scaring me!"

Light's brows furrowed in frustration. "What are you talking about?"

"I've never seen anyone obsess over every little thing like you do."

"That's why I'm getting help, Ryuuzaki." Light snapped. He felt stressed and irritated, though he didn't have a clear reason to be.

L said nothing and looked away. He could hear the stress in Light's voice and he didn't want to bother him.

But Light only grew more irritated when L didn't respond. "You don't understand... It's not like I can control myself. At least not right now. I'm always under too pressure." He felt flushed and hot. He was shaking as his anxiety grew.

L frowned and said, "As L I am under pressure all the time. I do know how you feel, Light." L could tell Light was panicking, so he remained calm, hoping Light would reflect his mood.

"Ryuuzaki this isn't about you! You chose your career, but it's different when your father expects you to be perfect and you can't because-"

"At least you _have_ a father." L said, suddenly angry. "If there's one thing I can't stand it's when people with perfect lives complain about their parents."

"My life is not perfect. Just because you don't have parents doesn't mean you can dismiss other people's problems caused by them! Most people aren't orphans and they're parents are going to cause them trouble at some point." L was silent again, making Light sigh in frustration. "No wonder you're in therapy. It's like you're incapable of understanding general society. And since when did we stop using honorifics?"

"You wouldn't know how hard it is... trying to talk to people who already don't like you." L said slowly. "Nobody wants to talk to orphans, because nobody cares about them."

"Just shut up. It isn't like that and you know it. You make it seem like you have it so hard, but you really don't."

Light's words made L clench his jaw in anger. "It _is_ like that, Light. You shouldn't make arguments about something you know nothing about." L made eye contact with Light, and each man had a strong look in their eyes. "This isn't a competition; we both have problems, and neither of us is more important than the other. You need to get over your self-entitlement and accept that the world isn't going to stop for you or me." L panted slightly. He wasn't used to talking so much at once, and he couldn't remember the last time he raised his voice..

It was painfully quiet then, and L felt horrible. He was so bad at socializing... he was sure he said something wrong.

But Light looked calm, and his features softened.

"Ryuuzaki..." Light whispered, feeling bad. L was right, though. It was time for him to stop feeling so sorry for himself and finally get over his OCD and panic disorder.

"Light-kun..." L spoke so softly Light could barely hear him. "I don't use honorifics because that's what lovers do, right?"

Light smiled. He couldn't resist the adorable detective. "Yeah, they do." He kissed L right on the lips, his previous anger and stress wiped away. "I'm sorry things got out of hand, L."

"I'm sorry too," L said. "I've been stressed lately, and I was taking it out on you. I need to show you something." L smiled weakly. Quickly, he went to Light's computer and used it to access his email. "I received another message. This one is quite disturbing."

L showed Light the cryptic email. "I've already deciphered it. It says, 'My mission concludes as L dies with the one he loves. Thirteen times will I exact my revenge until the original has fallen'."

"He means me..." Light said slowly, surprisingly calm. "How many have died so far?"

"Three. I managed to slow him down but he certainly won't give up. He must be arrested before he can kill anyone else."

"Right..." Light leaned over L to look at the website, a few red dots blinking on the screen. "But who is this guy?"

"He was one of my successors, B. He is not exactly...sane."

"What do you mean?" Light sat down next to L.

"He calls himself Beyond Birthday. Early on I could tell there was something wrong with him, when he began mimicking my habits and appearance."

Suddenly Light remembered the man he saw at the bar. "Ryuuzaki, when I went out with Mello I saw a man who looked just like you." Light took a deep breath. "He said, 'Moon Night God,' when he saw me, which is the way my name is written in kanji. Somehow he knew my name..."

"He knew my name, too. I never told it to anyone, not even Watari, and somehow he knew what it was. He seems to have an obsession with names."

Light thought it was strange that L never told anyone his real name, but he ignored it, for now. "What do you mean?"

"Somehow, he has always been able to know people's names before they told him. He obviously devoted time to figuring that out, right? Also, the three victims all had alliterative names, just like him. I haven't been able to figure _why_ he is so obsessed with names yet, though. It's so strange."

L closed the website and turned to look Light in the eyes. "You aren't safe here. I think it would be best if you lived with me until Beyond is captured. Watari and several others can provide maximum security."

"Wait, you want me to move in with you? This is all so sudden, L. I don't know."

"I know, Light. But your life is in danger. You don't have a choice."

Light took a deep breath. "Okay, so when should we do this?"

"As soon as possible. I can help you pack, if you'd like."

"Um... okay... just give me a minute." Light stood up and turned to stare out the window. He ran his hands through his hair and down his face, stopping to rest on his cheeks. He leaned forward until his head rested on the window, the coolness of the glass refreshing against his skin. He closed his eyes, thinking.

L stood in the center of the room, unsure of what to do. Slowly, he took little, silent steps towards Light. He reached out and hesitated before placing his hand on Light's head. Light remained still, but opened his eyes to see what L would do next.

The dark-haired man moved his hand through Light's hair, and then repeated the action. He continued these actions, keeping eye contact with Light, who was looking at him from behind his hands, which still covered his face.

"Are you petting me?" Light asked, slightly confused.

"I'm comforting you." L said and kept moving his hand.

"I'm not a _dog_, Ryuuzaki!" Light laughed, but L still continued. "You are so weird." He laughed again and stood up straight. L dropped his hand when Light moved.

"You need to meet my parents before I move in with you. And we need to tell them the truth, that we're dating."

"I understand." L said. "Where do they live? I'll have Watari take us there now."

"Right now?" Light said, surprised but not angry.

"The sooner the better." L smiled.

...

L and Light stood together outside the front door of the Yagami household. L knocked, and they waited for someone to answer the door. It felt like an eternity to Light, and he unconsciously squeezed L's hand in nervousness.

The door opened, and Sachiko Yagami stood in the doorway. "Light?" She exclaimed and threw her arms around her son. She leaned back and said, "What are you doing here? Oh, this must be your friend!"

Light said, "This is Ryuuzaki."

"Oh, hello. I'm Light's mother, Sachiko. Both of you come inside."

They stepped through the doorway and took off their shoes. Light smiled at L.

L looked around the house, his wide, obsidian eyes taking in every detail. The Yagami home was cozy and tidy, and smelled faintly of soap. It was very warm inside, as opposed to Light's cold apartment.

"I'll get you some tea."

He followed Light into the main room while Sachiko went ahead into the kitchen, and sat down on the couch next to him. He sat the way he normally did, but in a moment of hesitation he whispered to Light, "Should I sit normally?"

Light smiled. "No, it's okay."

L continued to look around the room as they waited for Light's mother to return.

Sachiko came back into the room with two cups of tea for them. "Here you go," she said as she placed them on the coffee table. "Do you want sugar with that?" she asked L.

"Yes, please." he said. Sachiko then went back into the kitchen and returned with a small bowl of sugar and a spoon.

Sachiko finally sat down herself across from them. "Sayu should be home in a little bit."

"My sister." Light clarified to L, though it was unnecessary, as L already knew about all the members of the Yagami family.

"Light I wasn't expecting you to come by. You usually call beforehand. What's the occasion?"

Light smiled, though he looked nervous. "Well, I wanted to introduce you to Ryuuzaki." He squeezed L's hand. "You see, Ryuuzaki is... my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" Sachiko was shocked, but didn't look displeased. "Light, you- you're gay? Since when?"

Light was starting to get anxious. "Well, to be honest I was never very interested in women," he said quietly, "and it wasn't until I met Ryuuzaki that I realized I was gay."

L's hand ached from Light squeezing so hard.

Light's mother looked from her son to L, an expression of disbelief on her face.

"And you two met at the therapist, right? Forgive me for asking, but what were you there for Ryuuzaki-san?"

"My grandfather suspects that I have Asperger's, so he suggested I see a therapist to help me socialize better."

"I see..." She still looked shocked. "Light I trust that you have found a suitable partner for yourself." She smiled.

"Thank you, mother." Light said.

"Who else have you told?"

"Just you so far. I was planning on telling everyone today."

She nodded, and just then they heard the front door open.

"I'm home!" Sayu's cheery voice called. She walked into the living room and dropped her bag on a chair. "Light?" She looked very surprised to see her brother.

"Hi Sayu," Light said and smiled. It had been a while since he had seen his little sister.

"Who's this?" She asked, looking at L.

Light hesitated before answering, and decided to just tell her the truth.

"Well, Sayu... This is Ryuuzaki... my boyfriend."

Sayu stared at them, her mouth agape. "Huh? Is this some prank?"

"No, Sayu. It's the truth," Light said seriously.

Sayu sat down next to her mother. "How long have you been together?"

"Not very long; almost a month."

Sayu nodded slowly, she seemed to be thinking. "Well, Ryuuzaki-san, it's nice to meet you." She smiled. "And Light we need to hang out more often. I haven't seen you in forever!"

"I know." Light said.

"So..." Sayu continued. "Why did you decide to tell us this all of a sudden?"

"Light wanted to tell you this because we are going to move in together soon." L answered calmly.

"Really?" Sachiko looked surprised. "Why so soon? You haven't known each other for very long."

"It is for safety reasons. Light could be the target of a criminal in the area. He would be safer if he lived with me."

"Oh that's horrible!" Light's mother gasped.

"Don't worry, I won't allow anything to happen to him." L said confidently.

Sayu threw her arms around L's neck. "Oh Ryuuzaki-san, that's so sweet!" She turned to Light. "I approve of your new boyfriend!"

L looked uncomfortable, uncertain of how to react to Sayu hugging him.

Light said, "I'm glad." He turned away, looking worried. "I'm just worried of what Dad will think."

...

A/N: …Yeah I know it's been forever since I've updated -_-

Don't worry; I haven't given up on this story. I've been hit with a serious case of writer's block. Every time I sit down to write I just stare at the words, unable to think of anything to type.

The next chapter shouldn't take too long. Light comes out to his father, and yeah he isn't too happy about his only son being gay. And the thing about Light wetting himself in public is coming up, but he doesn't _actually_ pee his pants ;) haha


	23. Coming Out

A/N: Just in case you were wondering, in this fic L is 25 and Light is 23.

...

The rest of the day went along peacefully. Sayu spoke gleefully about her college life, filling Light in on all the things he missed when he wasn't home. Sachiko provided endless sweets and tea for them (mostly L) to enjoy.

They enjoyed themselves as the day went on, but Light still nervously checked the clock from time to time to see how much time he had left until his father returned home.

When the time came, Light's heart was beating frantically in his chest. He heard the front door open. _Oh god... he's here_.

Soichiro Yagami walked into the house, tired after a long day at work. He saw shoes, Light's shoes, and ones he didn't recognize. The shoes were old, worn tennis shoes, and he couldn't think of anyone who wore shoes like that. Sayu had come to greet him and said there was someone he had to meet. Cautiously, he walked into the front room.

When Light saw his father enter the room he stood up. "Hello, father." He said nervously and forced a smile.

"Light, it's good to see you." Soichiro was truly happy to see his son again.

It was then that he noticed the stranger in the room. A young man, probably Light's age, with too-long black hair. He wore casual clothes that were too big for him, and he looked very thin from what Soichiro could tell. He also noticed the man wasn't fully Japanese. The stranger looked surprised with his big, black eyes open wide.

"Who is this?" Soichiro asked, giving L a friendly smile.

Light hesitated before saying, "Dad, we need to talk about something."

With that, Sayu and Sachiko quietly left the room. L sat awkwardly on the couch, waiting for what would happen next. He didn't understand why Light had gotten so serious all on a sudden.

Soichiro was concerned now, and sat down in the chair opposite the couch L was sitting in. "What is it, son?"

Light took a seat next to L. "Well first, let me introduce you to Ryuuzaki. Ryuuzaki, this is my father, Soichiro Yagami."

"It's nice to meet you, Yagami-san." L said quietly.

"Ryuuzaki, eh? Is this the person you met at that therapy place?"

"Yes." Light said, his voice shaky.

"Ah, well it's nice to meet you as well. Now what is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

Light froze in fear. He was so afraid of how his father would react, but he had to tell him the truth.

L was confused. He didn't understand what the big deal was. Light's mother and sister took the news very well. Why would his father be any different? He could tell Light was very nervous, though, so he guessed that Light's father wasn't going to be pleased and that Light knew that.

"Dad..." Light started, and subconsciously clutched L's hand. "You're not going to like what I have to say, but please just hear me out."

Soichiro remained silent, a stern look on his face.

"Ryuuzaki is more than just a friend... He's um... He's my boyfriend."

Light was finally able to breathe again, and his grip on L's hand loosened a little. It felt good to finally come out and say it.

Soichiro raised his eyebrows. "You're gay?"

"Yes, I am." Light said, gaining more confidence. "I knew this before I met Ryuuzaki, but I was afraid to admit it."

"What do you mean you knew before?" Soichiro asked, obviously confused.

"Well, I never was attracted to girls-"

"Light that just means you haven't found the right girl yet. That's no reason to become gay all of a sudden."

Light felt himself getting angry. "I didn't 'become gay all of a sudden.' I was always gay, and it was Ryuuzaki who made me realize this."

Soichiro turned his attention to L, who looked downright uncomfortable. "You did this?"

"Wha-" L started, before Light chimed in.

"Ryuuzaki didn't do anything. Don't try to blame him."

"How can I believe that? Before you met him you were completely fine, and now you're going on about being gay."

"Completely fine?" Light yelled. "How is not being able to go out in public 'completely fine'? I had horrible panic attacks just from leaving my apartment. Ryuuzaki was the only person who was ever able to help me, and you're acting like he's at fault? If anything, you're the one at fault."

"Me? What did I do to you? I was always supportive of you. I always worked hard to make sure you and your mother and sister were happy. I have done nothing wrong. Please, Light. Listen to yourself."

"You don't see how you could have caused this? You put me under insane pressure, and expected the impossible from me."

"Light-" Soichiro started.

"And you said you were always supportive of me? What about now, when I finally had the courage to come out? You accused my boyfriend of corrupting your perfect son. Mom and Sayu were fine with me when I came out to them, and they like Ryuuzaki a lot. Why can't you accept this like they did?"

"Light, please listen." Soichiro said calmly. "You have to understand. I haven't seen you in so long, and you're so different now. I just... don't know what to think. I'm not angry with you, I'm just... concerned. Surely you understand, Light?"

After remaining silent through all this, L spoke. "Yagami-san." His voice was so quiet, and Soichiro was surprised when he finally spoke up. "I think I understand how you feel. It must be surprising to hear this news about your son, but there is nothing to be concerned about." L paused, and then said, "Light is very smart. He knows what is best for him, and even if you never understand it, you must learn to accept it, because Light is an adult, and he knows what he's doing. He is not a child that must be watched after. He is a grown-up, an extremely intelligent grown-up, so you don't need to worry about him so much."

Light was surprised when his father's features softened, and then he actually smiled.

"You know, you're right, Ryuuzaki-san." He turned to Light. "Perhaps I... overreacted a bit. I'm sorry Light."

Light smiled back. "That's okay," was all he could think to say. He wasn't angry at his father, though his reaction wasn't the one he wanted. It was frustrating, because he knew this wasn't the end, and that his father wouldn't accept his new relationship so easily, even if he acted like he did now.

Suddenly, L got a phone call from Watari and announced that he had to leave. Light said that he should probably go as well.

The two walked out into the street together, and Light took L's hand in his. They walked down the street in silence, heading for the train station.

Light spoke first. "Well, that went slightly better than I expected it to. But I don't think he's going to support us so easily."

"What makes you say that?" L asked, awkwardly grasping Light's fingers.

"I think he was just being polite because you were there." Light said, frowning. "But what you said in there was true. He hasn't realized that I'm an adult now and that he doesn't have to monitor all the decisions I make."

"I think he is just demonstrating concern for your well-being. He must think you made a mistake, so he thought he had to convince you otherwise."

"Well, he is wrong for thinking I made a mistake by dating you."

L looked away, and then shyly asked, "Why doesn't your father like me? Is there something wrong with me?"

"What? No, there's nothing wrong with you. He just doesn't want me dating men."

"That's not what Watari and my therapist think..."

Light frowned. "Ryuuzaki, everyone has flaws. You just have flaws that, when put together, are labeled as a specific disorder that can be treated."

Light made it seem like they were puzzles waiting to be put together.

"So that's how you see things..."

"Well, yeah. How do you see it?"

L didn't answer for a while. They entered the busy train station filled with the lethargic Japanese after a long day at work, a few tourists scattered about, the men towering above the small population. There were young school girls who chattered about their favorite pop stars and worried people darting through the crowds to make their next train. Once L and Light's train arrived they boarded it, and as they were getting on L finally spoke again.

"I think... I agree with you."

"You've seriously deliberated over this, haven't you?" Light looked amused.

"Yes. What you said before is a pleasant way to look at it, rather than singling out people with these disorders."

The train was empty except for the two genii. L occupied himself by swinging around on the upright poles, Light watching in amusement.

"You are so childish sometimes. It's adorable."

L pouted at Light before giving in and laughing. He was right, after all.

...

The next morning, Light had to face one of his fears. He had to go out in public.

He had stayed in his apartment the night before, but later in the day he would move in with Ryuuzaki. Most of his stuff was neatly packed into boxes the night before.

He stepped out of his apartment and into the hallway. It was quiet, so quiet. He took slow steps down the stairs, enjoying the solitude. He reached the bottom floor, took a deep breath, and walked outside.

The weather was overcast with a soft grey sky, and the day was windy and cold. The air smelled like freshly fallen rain, but the rain had stopped for now as Light walked through the city. He didn't pass many people, except for a woman holding several bags of groceries and a man walking his dog. It was early, and it seemed for now everyone has decided to stay inside.

As part of his treatment, Dr. Matsuidaira wanted to meet Light at a nearby cafe. He said it would help his anxiety if they were to meet in a place that made Light anxious, so he could help him get over his fears.

He felt okay now, nervous but okay. He walked along the streets alright by himself, which he hadn't done in a while. He walked another block and turned the corner and found the cafe. It had an outdoor patio with seats and tables. Light sat down, and began to regret going outside. He tried not to think about all the dirt.

He didn't know exactly what the doctor had in store, and that only made him more nervous. It was true, though, that since meeting Ryuuzaki his anxiety had gotten a little better. But it was still really bad. Simply sitting there in the cafe made him want to get up and run away. The imperfect surroundings gnawed at his mind and urged him to get up and _fix_ things.

Despite his feelings, he sat still and watched as the doctor finally arrived and took a seat next to Light.

"Hello there, Yagami-san. How are you?" He said kindly.

"Good morning, Mastudaira-sensei. I don't feel so good right now." Light replied, pulling at the hem of his jacket to keep his hands occupied.

The doctor sat back, relaxed, with his legs crossed. "Is that so? What do you feel right now?"

Just then a tired-looking waitress arrived and took their orders. Light asked for black coffee, and the doctor asked for green tea. She disappeared into the cafe again.

"Coffee isn't going to make your anxiety any better," he said gently.

"I know." Light sighed and rested his head in his hands. Just sitting there made him so stressed out. "I feel like I'm going to throw up. How much longer do we have to be here?"

"This is all part of getting over your fears. Look around you. There is nothing here that should frighten you."

"Yes, but I still have panic attacks from being here."

"What about this place makes you anxious?"

The waitress delivered their drinks, and Light drank his quickly, his mouth dry from anxiety.

"It's just so dirty here." Light started. "And so many things are out of order."

Matsudaira sipped his tea while he listened, looking very interested. "Go on."

"And I know I can't fix everything here. Sometimes I feel like if I can't fix anything, I'm going to die, or something horrible will happen."

"Why do you think something horrible will happen?"

Light paused to think of a response. "I don't really know." He said finally.

Matsudaira just nodded and said, "Your fear is an irrational one. This is not uncommon, though. Many people have phobias."

"Well, their phobias don't prevent them from functioning as a normal human being." Light sighed and sipped his coffee.

The doctor nodded in agreement. "Yes, but people can overcome phobias. That is why you came to me, right?"

"Yes." Light said, not feeling very confident about Matsudaira's plan for him to get over his fears.

"So, let's get started then. I asked you to meet me in a public place since I know a place like this is very triggering for you. Today we will practice exposure."

Light knew what that meant for him. "You're going to expose me to my fears in hope I'll get over them that way?"

"Exactly. Before we start, though, I need to know about your other fears. What do you fear the most?"

"Failing." Light answered right away. Then, after some thought, he said, "And being humiliated in public."

"Those aren't irrational fears, but if they hold you back from enjoying your life, you must overcome them. Are you finished?"

Light looked down at his empty cup and nodded. They paid and Matsudaira lead Light through the city.

"Where are we going?" Light asked after following the short man for a while.

"Subway."

Light was confused. "Why the subway?"

"Well, you can't escape easily. You will want to run away, and on a subway it will be hard for you to do so."

Light was already getting nervous from the anticipatory anxiety. He felt sick and just wanted to go home and hide in his nice, clean apartment. He wanted Ryuuzaki, too. He imagined himself and the dark-haired man lying in his germ-free bed, in his tidy bedroom, under the freshly-washed blanket. He would just hold Ryuuzaki until they fell asleep in that perfect place...

Light began to feel dizzy and faint. He was shaking. Just being in the crowded and filthy train station made his heart race. He didn't know how he would survive whatever the doctor had planned for him.

After what seemed like forever, the train arrived and they boarded it.

"How are you feeling now, Light?"

Light was starting to panic. He was stuck on this train and he couldn't get off until the next stop. And there were so many people there. It made him feel so self-conscious and uncomfortable.

"Not very good," he answered. "There's so many people here..."

"Yes there are. What is the problem with that?"

"I don't know, I just don't like it. I feel like they're all judging me and I'm going to do something wrong, or embarrass myself."

The doctor pulled out a bottle of water from his bag, and when no one was looking, he poured the contents onto Light's lap.

"What the hell are you doing?" Light yelled. "Now everyone is going to think I peed my pants!"

"But you didn't." The doctor replied calmly.

"But it still looks like I did! That's what everyone else is going to think!"

Light was freaking out now. He was having trouble breathing and was starting to hyperventilate. People were staring, and there was nothing he could do because there was a big wet mark on his pants.

"You have to learn not to care so much about what the people around you are thinking," the doctor continued. "You will most likely never see these people again, so what does it matter? Their thoughts cannot hurt you."

Light only sat down and tried to hide from everyone else. He knew what the doctor was trying to say, but it only pissed him off more.

"What kind of treatment is this? Do you always do stuff like this to your patients?" Light asked, glaring at the other man.

"I do what it takes." Matsudaira said, unfazed by Light's glare.

Light was _really_ starting to get pissed off now.

"Well if it takes humiliating me in public then I don't know if I want to be treated." He snapped.

The train stopped and Light exited angrily, leaving Matsudaira behind.

He had a long way to walk, but the walking made him calm down a bit. After a while his pants dried and his anger faded. He felt content, not anxious, or obsessed with whether or not his feet landed on the pavement correctly.

In a weird way, being pissed at Matsudaira made him feel better. He didn't want to have to go see some doctor to be able live normally. He was better than that.

For the first time in a long while, Light felt motivated to get better. He wanted to be successful and happy, not cooped up inside his whole life, fearing the world outside. No, fear wasn't right. He hated the outside world. He hated how dirty and unorganized it was; how people stared at him, judging him; how he was powerless to fix the imperfections.

Light didn't want to be outside anymore. He ran the rest of the way to his apartment, which was farther than he thought. When he finally arrived he was exhausted, and had to force himself to go up the stairs. He unlocked his door, went inside and collapsed on the couch, breathing heavily and shakily. He felt his earlier anger returning to him. How could a licensed professional do something like that? Was he trying to make him so angry he would resolve to fix himself without needing outside help? No, Light didn't want to think about being outsmarted by an old man using something as simple as _reverse psychology_.

He growled and threw his bag across the room.

Just then, Light's phone rang.

...

There was no new information about the Beyond Birthday case. There had been no murders for two weeks, and the website remained blank. So there was nothing L could do but wait for something to happen.

He hated waiting.

Watari walked into the room with a pot of tea and a tray full of scones, cookies, and other treats. He set it all down on a table next to L and poured him a cup of the hot drink.

L said nothing and started dropping sugar cube after sugar cube into the teacup. When he was satisfied he drank almost all of it, making Watari grimace at the thought of how the overly sweet concoction must taste.

Watari cleared his throat. "Ryuuzaki, why don't you spend some time outside of this hotel? Being cooped up in here all day isn't good for you. And besides, the case is at a stand-still for now, so why don't you take a break?"

"And do what?" L asked, confused.

Watari began clearing away the old dishes from L's previous meals. "Oh, I don't know. Perhaps you could spend some time with Light before he moves in here. Take a day off."

L didn't like the idea of "taking a day off" at all. He shoved a cookie into his mouth. "I don't know..." he said with his mouth full. What if something new came up?

"I will always be here." Watari said, smiling. "You don't need to worry. With the police protecting any possible victims, B won't make any moves for a while."

L sighed and pulled out his cell phone. He might as well take a break, since there was nothing for him to do at the moment. He dialed Light's number.

...

Light frantically retrieved his phone from his bag and was relieved to see who was calling.

"Ryuuzaki?" His voice was shaky and he was still breathless.

"Light? What's wrong with your voice?" L asked.

Light swallowed and stopped to take a deep breath. "Nothing. I'm okay now." He sighed, he really was okay. He was back in the safety of his apartment and just the sound of L's voice calmed him down.

"You weren't okay before?" L asked, suddenly concerned. He heard Light sigh, noting how stressed he sounded.

"I'll tell you about it later. Anyways, why did you call me?"

"Oh," L paused. "I was wondering if you would like to spend the day with me." He felt weird about asking Light this, he had never done something like that before.

Light smiled and said, "Of course I would. What did you have in mind?"

"I don't really know." L said. It was true; he had no idea what they could do or where they could go. "I just want to spend time with you."

"Ryuuzaki that's so sweet." Light said.

It made L feel embarrassed.

"Well I have absolutely nothing else to do, and besides Watari was the one who suggested it."

L could hear Light laughing. "Whatever you say, Ryuuzaki."

...

A/N: The next chapter will have Light and L on their little date, with the return of another character from earlier in the story c:

Also, I'm thinking about changing my pen name, so you won't be seeing the author named Aoi Natsu anymore.


	24. First Time

After L called Light he had Watari drive him to his apartment. He had previously memorized whats stairs to take, what halls he should go down. It wasn't long before he found Light's door.

Without knocking, L opened the door and walked inside.

Light seemed startled by L's sudden intrusion, but chose not to get angry at him for it. He knew the dark haired man wasn't one to know what proper manners were.

"Ryuuzaki," He said, smiling. "It didn't take you long to get here." He got up from his place on the floor where he had been packing a suitcase.

"I didn't see the point in wasting time. You must remember that you are not safe right now."

Light pulled L into a tight hug, pressing their chests together. "I know," he whispered.

L took Light by the shoulders and gently pushed him back. "Do not worry, Light. I will protect you." He glanced at the suitcase on the floor. "But for now, you need to finish packing."

Light spent the next hour carefully picking out clothing from his wardrobe to bring with him. Once he decided on what he wanted, he had to meticulously fold and place the clothing in his bag. It took him a few tries to find an arrangement he was happy with.

L watched as Light took great care in packing his clothes, biting at his thumb in amusement. It always awed him how Light could take a simple task and obsess over doing it perfectly. But L knew not to make fun of him for it; from Light's point of view this wasn't funny at all.

L was just glad Light wasn't bringing very much, or else this would take forever.

Once Light was all packed up, Watari arrived to pick them up. L helped Light bring his bags out to Watari's car and into the trunk. The two lovers took their seats together in the back of the car.

"So," Light began. "You still haven't decided where we are going to go today."

"No, I haven't." L admitted. "To be honest planning dates is not something I have any experience with."

In the driver's seat, Watari found himself smiling at the thought of his young genius going on a date. He was so for the boy he considered his son. For so long he worried about L; he knew he wasn't going to be around forever, and he didn't want L to be alone once he was gone. This whole chain of events started with his concern of L having Asperger's lead to L finding someone he could love. It didn't matter to the old man that L was in a homosexual relationship. All Watari ever cared about was L's happiness.

"Where exactly will we be staying?" Light asked suddenly when he realized he didn't know where L was living.

"Well," L began, his thumb rising to his lips. "I usually stay at a hotel on international trips, but I figured that would be too uncomfortable. You remember my house, the secluded on we spent the night at with Amane-san, right?"

Light remembered big, old house they had stayed in. "That's where we're staying? Is it safe?"

"Of course. I wouldn't bring you somewhere where you would be in danger. Nobody is aware that building is there except for myself, Watari, you and Amane-san. B is not aware of its existence." L stopped for a minute, wriggling his toes together. He noticed Light still looked worried. "In addition, there will be bodyguards posted at all entrances, and stationed throughout the nearby woods to make sure that no one heads in our direction, even unintentionally."

"Alright then." Light said, still feeling unsure, but determined to make the best of things. For now, he was just happy to be with Ryuuzaki.

"Ahem." Watari politely cleared his throat to get their attention. "I will take Light's belongings back to the safe house, but for now where would you too like to go? I have a team of guards in the car following behind us, and they will discreetly go where you go."

"I don't know how discreet bodyguards can be, Watari." L mumbled, more to himself. He was grateful for the protection, though.

Light dismissed L's complaining. "Why don't we go to a nice cafe for coffee and sweets," he suggested, knowing it was what L would want.

Watari nodded and started to head in the direction of a place he knew the two genii would enjoy.

...

They sat together in the quiet cafe, L drinking a white chocolate mocha with extra whip cream and Light sipping at a small green tea.

"So, I was thinking, Ryuuzaki," Light began.

"Hmm?" L mumbled as he drank his mocha.

"Why not just spend the day at your house? It could be nice." Light honestly would prefer staying in than being out in  
crowded Tokyo.

L set the styrophone cup down and began picking at his napkin.

"Yes, that would be nice. The house is very quiet and we would have a lot of privacy, aside from the security guards  
scattered throughout the property." L said the last part with a slightly bitter tone.

"L..." Wammy interupted. He was sitting at the table with them, peering at the young genius from behind a Japanese  
newspaper.

"Yes, what is it?" L asked, the thought not occuring to him that he had maybe offended the old man.

"You should be more grateful for the protection you two will have. Would you rather have both your lives be put in danger?" Wammy said sternly, but not too harshly. He knew L had trouble sympathsying with people and understanding how his words may make them feel. "I don't want to hear anymore complaining, understood?"

"Understood," L muttered as he unwrapped a pastry and began eating it.

Wammy sighed and wondered to himself if his words had any affect on L. Sometimes the young man could be so oblivious. He turned to look at Light, noticing that he seemed uncomfortable.

"Are you alright?" He asked, folding the newspaper in his lap.

Light was figiting with the cardboard sleave that came with his tea. "I'm fine," he said, smiling slightly for the old man. "Just a little anxious, is all. I'll be alright." He took a deep breath to try to calm his nerves.

"Well, we're almost finished up here. Then it's off to the safehouse. It's not a long drive, despite it being so deep in the woods."

"You'll feel better once we get there, won't you?" L asked, suddenly concerned for Light.

"Of course, Ryuuzaki. It's nothing to worry about. I'm fine." He smiled again for both of them to ease their worries.

It hadn't gone unnoticed to Wammy that L was starting to show signs of sympathy and understanding when it came to Light. L sometimes couldn't tell when others were upset, so this new development came as a relief to Wammy. He was happy for L, since all he really wanted was for L to get better with socializing and to make friends.

After they has finished with their coffee and tea, Light and L followed Watari back to his car. They climbed into the back seat together.

"Feeling better?" L asked.

"Yeah" Light said, giving L a quick kiss on the cheek.

...

The drive back to the house was a peaceful one. Light and L sat in silence, with Light resting his head on L's shoulder. He was tired and stressed out from having to move, but he wasn't unhappy. When he found out that Ryuuzaki was L, he knew that dating someone like that would not be without danger. Though he never expected that someone would be targeting himself, he was prepared for his safety to be compromised if it meant being with L. He smiled to himself as he realized that there was no one else who could get him to put his life on the line like that.

They arrived minutes later, the big house coming into view from behind the trees. It was just as magnificent as Light remembered it being.

"We're here." Watari announced as they pulled into the driveway.

L helped Light bring his bags in. It wasn't much, but it was spread out into two small suitcases. Watari held the door open as they walked  
through the grand entrance.

"Wow..." Light couldn't help saying as he saw the inside in all it's glory. The room had been properly cleaned up and was well lit, compared to the dark, dusty room he saw the last time he was there. One thing that stood out to Light was a black, shiny grand piano in the large room, making it seem less empty than it had before.

The creepy painting of the previous owner, however, remained hanging above the fireplace.

"Let's put these in your room." L said, leading Ligh down a hallway.

He showed Light to his room, a large, yet cozy, room with fancy red wallpaper and a red bed. The bed was queensized and looked very, very comfortable. There was a red leather chair in the room, and a big red rug decorating the floor.

"What do you think?" L asked, setting Light's bag on the floor.

Light set his bag next to the other one. "It's very... red." he said, laughing. "But it's nice. That bed looks really comfortable."

"You aren't sleepy yet, are you?" L asked, disapointed.

Light laughed at the sad look on L's face. "No, don't worry, I'm not going to sleep yet." He sat down onto the bed and patted the space next to him, indicating to L that he should sit there.

L followed suit and sat onto the bed, pulling himself into his characteristic crouched form.

"Do you feel safe here?" L asked.

"Yeah, I do." Light answered. "The security isn't as noticable as I imagined it'd be. This is... nice." He said, putting his arm around L and pulling him close.

"I'm glad you feel that way." L said softly, snuggling into Light.

"Ahem..." Watari cleared his throat to get their attention as he stood in the doorway.

Embarrassed, the two pulled apart once the old man's presence was known.

"What is it, Watari?" L asked.

Watari ignored the fact that he seemed to have walked in on the beginnings of a private moment and said simply, "L, it is time to meet with the Japanese task force."

"What is it now?" L asked, standing up from the bed. "Has there been more murders?"

Watari dimissingly waved his hand at L's statement, "No, but they have finished locating all potential victims, and would like to know what to do now."

L frowned, obviously annoyed. "There isn't anything to do now. Their job is simply to protect anyone B could target. Now we just wait for him to make a move out of desperation. Can't you just tell them that?"

"I think they want to hear it form you. Perhaps you should congradulate them on their hard work." Wammy said politely.

By now L was starting to get frustrated. "I'll congratulate them if when this case is over, all of those people they are protecting are still alive."

Watari gave L a stern look to let him know he wasn't getting out of this. "Fine," he said and started to walk towards the room where the computers were set up. "I'll thank them and tell them what a good job they did."

"Why don't you follow, Light?" Watari offered and guided the younger man in the direction L had gone. Light was suprised to hear the man call him by his first name, but at the same time he felt honored.

Light was lead down the hall until they arrived at another sitting room. However, instead of being furnished with chairs and sofas, this room had several computer monitors mounted onto the wall and a number of different laptops scattered throughout the room. One monitor sat on the floor, which plugged into a computer and had a microphone attached to it. Light watched L sit onto the floor and pick up the small microphone.

"Ready?" He asked Watari, slightly impatient. He really didn't see why he had to speak to the inferior men of the task force.

Watari was busy setting up the connection, but after a short while he turned to L and nodded. He spoke into his own microphone and said, "Gentlemen, you will now hear L speak."

Meanwhile, Light sat himself in an empty chair and watched in awe as he saw the great detective L working. It was interesting to see the man behind the scenes as he comunicated with the task force.

Light was also impressed as L delivered his thanks to the men, despite his unwillingness to do so. It seemed L was capable of being courteous when he needed to be, and Light had a feeling that Watari was the one responsible.

Before he knew L was done speaking with the men.

"See? That wasn't so bad, L." Watari said, packing away L's laptop and microphone so they weren't on the floor.

"It was boring." L said as he stood up and moved over to Light. "Sorry about that."

Light simply smiled and said, "No, it's fine. I like seeing you work."

"Alright then," Watari interjected. "There are still a few more hours until dinner is served. I'll leave you two to your own devices." Watari bowed and left the room.

When Watari left Light took the chance to grab L from behind and pull him into a tight embrace. L yelped in surprise at the sudden movement and form being touched, but relaxed when he saw that it was only Light.

"Shall we return to your room, Light?" L offered, removing himself form Light's embrace and heading for the door.

"Sure." Light said, following L, unsure of what they were going to do next.

They traveled through the main room again, the piano once again catching Light's eye. He ran his finger along the surface of the top. L noticed Light had stopped followinng him and turned to see what he was doing.

"Do you play?" Light asked, looking up at L.

L took a few steps closer to the piano. " Yes I do. Though it's been a while. Being L does take away a lot of free time." He saw that Light seemed a little disappointed at his response.

"Do you want me to play something right now?" He asked, noting how Light's mood brightened at the suggestion.

"Sure," he said, smiling. He took a seat on a nearby couch, watching as L sat at the piano, preparing himself.

L frowned, unsure of what to play. He decided on a melody he remembered from when he was younger and could play piano more often.

The notes were soft, and the song simple and light. L's slender fingers pressed on the keys, evoking a rich sound that resonated nicely in the large room.

Light watched L play, focusing on how his hands moved, becoming entanced by them. They moved gracefully, contrary to how the young detective usually portrayed himself.

He let himself get lost in the music, his mind enveloped in the serene melody.

...

They eventually retired back into Light's room after L played a couple more songs at Light's request. Watari had served them dinner, though L didn't eat much of it.

The two were lying in the bed together, awkwardly exchanging a few kisses now and then. L was content with just cuddling in bed after a nice dinner, but Light's heart was racing. Although they had shared a bed before, something about tonight was different for them. Light was reading one of the books from the library while L relaxed, perfectly cozied up to his boyfriend.

L found himself craving contact with Light and snuggled closer to him, resting his head on the other man's chest.

"Your heart rate is very high. Are you alright?" L asked, looking up at him.

Light was caught offguard when the detective moved even closer to him. "Y-yeah. I mean," he stumbled with his words. "You're just so cuddly right now. I'm not sure how to react."

"Do you want me to stop?" L asked, suddenly worried he had ruined things for them.

Light was quick to console L when he realized he worried him. "No! No, I mean, I'm not sure how..." His voice trailed off as he decided not to finish the statement, worried it would offend L.

"Not sure how what?" L asked.

"Nothing." Light said, turning back to his book to try to end the conversation.

L frowned and sat up so he could look at Light directly. "Not sure how what, Light?"

Light hesitated to speak, but closed his mouth again.

"Light just tell me." L whined. He was getting frusterated and couldn't understand how Light was so nervous to say what he wanted to say.

Light sighed and closed the book he was reading. "I don't know how far you want to go."

L waited, unsure of what Light meant.

"It's just that you're being so affectionate right now, and I don't know what level of affection I should show back. I don't want you to feel like I'm being overbearing, and I don't want to make you uncomfortable." He looked up at L, waiting for a reply.

L placed his thumb at his mouth. "Well, how far do you want to 'go' Light?"

Light looked away, thinking of a way to respond.

"Do you want to have sex?" L asked plainly.

"L!" Light said in surprise. "Do you have to be so blunt all the time?"

"I just want a straight answer." L said, gnawing at his thumb now, realizing he may have said something wrong.

Light rubbed at the back of his neck. "Well, I mean... If we end up going there, then I would be okay with it." He said, wincing slightly. He never had to be so blunt with his feelings before L. You would be the first man I've had sex with. I don't know if I'll be any good."

"You're the first human I would have sex with." L mumbled. "I wouldn't worry about how much experience you have compared to me."

Light laughed slightly remembering that L was a virgin. "So..." he said, feeling awkward now.

"Do you want to start with kissing?" L asked as he leaned closer to Light.

"Sure." Light said breathlessly as their lips met.

They kissed for a while, their bodies moving closer, their hand roaming over eachothers body. They take eachothers clothes off, item by item until they're in their underwear. Their lips are soft and delicate against the other's body. They're nervous and gentle and hesitant, and then the rest of the clothes of off. They touch eachother, keeping quiet in case of being detected. Light works L up until he's ready, and make sure not to hurt him.

It's slow and awkward, but they make love. The two men hold and kiss eachother when it's over, and fall asleep in each others arms.

...

Misa was taking the short way home after a long photoshoot. The streets were dark and empty. She walks with hurried footsteps, trying to get home as soon as she can.

She hears something a ways behind her and quickens her pace, feeling as though she wasn't safe.

Misa was right, she wasn't safe.

"Amane Misa," B whispers to himself as he got close enough to be able to read he name. "Well it's time to make my move."

Misa hears footsteps and looks behind her, noticing a black figure advancing in her direction. She gasps, unable to scream, and begins to run, the figure gaining on her.

Her black clunky heels weren't good for running and eventually Beyond catches up to here, clamping a hand over her mouth to silence her.

"Keep quiet and do as I say, and I won't kill you." He said, though he knew very well when she would die, and expected her to be very, very cooperative as he dragged her back to his car.

...

A/N: So it's been more than a year! I know that's a ridiculous ammount of time. But know that I DO hope to finish this story, no matter how long it takes!

So the character who returned was Misa, who's been kidnapped, so now the case should be heating up again!

And I know the sex scene probably wasn't as graphic as some of you out there wanted, but I want to keep this story rated teen. :P


	25. Capture

L woke up very early the next morning, still tangled up in the sheets with Light. Quietly, he rolled out of bed and got dressed.

The sun was still sleeping below the horizon, but L knew Watari would be up, probably preparing coffee and breakfast. L's bare feet slapped against the wooden  
floor as he made his way towards the kitchen.

Watari was just turning on the coffee pot when he heard L enter the room.

"Sleep well?" Wammy asked, turning around to look at L.

L would have blushed if he had less control over his emotions.

"Yes, fine. Has anything happened with the case?" He asked, trying to change the subject. He trusted Watari, but he wasn't about to divulge explicit details about the previous night to his father-figure.

"An update on the website Beyond has made happened just a few minutes ago." Watari said.

L had a sick feeling in his stomach as he found his laptop and opened it. He navigated to the strange website to see the update Watari was referring to.

The page had gone white with a single black, blinking dot in the center. L clicked it, and a video player opened up.

"Watari, look." L said, waiting for the old man to come to his side before pressing play.

The video showed a dark, empty room save for a chair with a figure sitting in it. The lights came on and the figured was revealed to be Misa Amane, who was bound and gagged.

L looked on in shock as Misa struggled in the chair.

A voice began to speak. "L I know you can see this."

L instantly recognized the voice as coming from B, his former successor.

B was still out of view from the camera, but continued to speak. "I don't appreciate you hiding my victims from me, so I'll have to forgo my original plan of killing 13 people before you."

L watched Misa's struggling died down as she realized that it was hopeless.

"So I went and caught this hostage," B said, laughing. "I want you to come and get her, so I'll have a better chance at getting to you and your 'boyfriend'. And don't think you can outsmart me, in the end I'm the one pulling the strings here."

There was a pause, and B continued to talk while walking away from the camera. "No, shithead, YOU are the fool." He hissed.

L was surprised at B's words. Apparently there was another person with him. Either that or B really had lost it.

The video stopped, and L turned to look at Watari. "I'm not sure how to proceed," L said.

"Don't worry, L. The police can take care of Beyond. Right now you need to worry about your and Light's safety." Watari returned to the kitchen to fix L a cup of coffee.

"Alright then. I'm going to go wake up Light."

...

Matt was sitting outside his apartment complex, cigarette in hand. Mello was inside, probably sleeping. They had not shared the same bed for a while, and since Mello was determined that Matt was an imposter, he took to sleeping on the couch.

Matt knew Mello had a lot of psychological problems, and considering his own past, he was surprised he ended up relatively normal. He didn't blame Mello for how he acted, he just desperately wanted him to get help, so they could be happy again.

He thought back to the last therapy session, where he was asked to come in with Mello. Their strange-haired therapist told Matt that perhaps Mello needed to be triggered back into his old way of thinking. That he needed something to remind him of the way his relationship used to be.

Well, Matt thought, here goes nothing.

He put out the cigarette he was smoking and went back inside to find Mello fixing himself a bowl of Cocoa Puffs.

"Hey," he said awkwardly, leaning against the counter.

"What?" Mello said coldly, taking a bite out of his chocolate cereal.

"You know I love you, right?"

Matt was startled when Mello suddenly slammed his bowl down. "This shit again?" He asked.

"Huh?" Matt backed away a few feet from Mello.

"You know it's wonderful that you love me, but I don't love YOU. I don't even know you." Mello insisted.

Matt sighed and took a couple wary steps towards Mello. "Yeah, I know. But the thing is, I'm the same Matt you've known all along."

Mello rolled his eyes.

"No, really," Matt insisted. "What differences are there between me and the real Matt?" he said, aware that his wording might have been problematic.

Mello huffed. "Not much, but I can tell you're not him."

Matt could tell that Mello's mood was better than usual. He moved in closer, knowing Mello was not likely to try to hit him.

"Come on, Mello, where do you think I went?" He asked, pulling Mello into an embrace. The action surprised the blond, who let out a soft gasp.

"I don't know, but-" he was cut off as Matt kissed him on the lips. Hard.

Mello pushed Matt away from him. "Matt, what the fuck are you doing?"

"You called me Matt!" The redhead exclaimed. "There really is hope!"

Mello slapped him so hard his goggles came off.

"Don't. Fucking. Touch. Me. Without. My. Permission." He said sternly.

"So..." Matt started, struggling to put his goggles back on. "Who do you think I am now?"

"A fucking retard." Mello said, going back to his cereal.

Matt got up from the floor. "A fucking retard named Matt?" He asked carefully.

"I don't know, Matt, are you?" He asked, getting annoyed.

Matt ignored his previous warning and picked the blond up in a burst of happiness. "You finally believe me, then? That kiss triggered you to act like you used to?"

"Put me down before I break your skull, dumbass! And what do you mean by 'act like I used to'?"

Mello seemed unaware of his previous accusation of Matt being an imposter, but the redheaded genius didn't care. Mello referred to him as Matt, and that was all that he cared about.

"I love you, Mello," Matt said, putting the angry blond down.

"I love you too, you fucking asshole." Mello said, shoving Matt away to get back to his bowl of chocolaty goodness.

...

Watari felt a pain in his chest when he heard L cry out.

"WHERE IS HE?" The distraught detective was crying out from the other room.

The old man rushed to the bedroom the genii had shared the night before to find the large window wide open, and the room empty except for a crying L.

Watari took L by the shoulders to try to calm the hysterical boy down, but it was to no avail.

"He took him!" L cried uncharacteristically, tears running down his face. "Beyond took Light while we were in the other room, and those 'guards' let this happen!"

...

Beyond's plan was going perfectly.

It wasn't hard to distract L with the video he posted, and now that he had Light, Misa was of no use to him.

Capturing him without making enough noise to be caught was easy enough, he simply snuck onto the property at night and waited for L to leave the room. Of course he wasn't expecting such a _show_ from the two last night

He came in though the window and pressed a cloth soaked in chloroform to his victims face while he slept.

Dragging his sleeping body through the woods was difficult, but not impossible. He had to kill a guard on the way, but his body wouldn't be found before he got far enough away.

He finally got Light back to his truck and drove off to the place where he kept Misa.

Beyond anticipated seeing L again after such a long time.


End file.
